LOGINShare
29. Lincoln
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Always 30. Bryanna
"What the fuck do you mean?" I ask him. The nagging feeling at the back of my head tells me I maybe have an idea of what he meant, but my heart refuses to acknowledge it. No, he can't be talking about that ....That ....He can't.No, no, no. Not now, not ever.No! He can't be talking about that ... night.My heart constricts. Fuck. Yes, I adored him once, when I was a young, naive teenager.There, I said it. I adored him when all I saw was the nerdy and kind guy, who silently stole my heart with his dark glances, secret smiles, and attentions he gave me behind my brother's back. I adored him enough to make him the one I lost my virginity to. I adored him enough to give him a thing so precious on the night of my eighteenth birthday.That night, he whispered me sweet nothings, he promised me anything.And, yes, he then left me, diappeared into the thin night air, never to be heard, or seen again. He left me alone, used, with a bleeding sheet and—not so surprisingly—a bleeding heart.
Always 31. Bryanna
For days I kept myself busy; with work—two days away from the office were more than enough and Remi's still riding my butt about it—and getting lost in Nate. Despite—or should I say because of—the warning, I seek him when, and to, get off. Yeah, you know ....At day two of waiting in the studio, he begrudgingly handed over the key to his apartment. He said it was easier and less distracting that way. I said I loved it this way.How could I not? I got an address and a key to my boyfriend's cave at this early stage of our relationship! It was, like, a secret declaration or something. It showed how much he loved me. Don't you think? That was sooooooo sweet I made sure his grudge was out of his system with another bathroom break. You know what I mean. Wink. So, my days for the past four were like, work, Nate's apartment, and my apartment—only to change, then back at his again. Wash, rinse, repeat. The hustle and bustle of going to and fro those places keeps me occupied that I didn't h
Always 32. Bryanna
Awkward. This is so fucking awkward. I arrived to my mother's bright smile and my father's tight hug. I know I don't have another option beside to meet them when I come, but I don't think I will come to ... this. They greets me like nothing had happened, like I wasn't the worst daughter on the planet. Like I didn't do something that hurt them. Especially mom. That's why, I think, that's why I can't act the same. My smile is crooked and forced. My hug wasn't as tight. They clearly want to play it cool, like anything I did didn't matter, but I can't .... The guilt resurfaces. Shit. "You look good, Baby Girl." "Thanks, Daddy." "You must be very busy, Sweetie." Fuck. "Yes, uhm ... yes. I was. I-I still am." "We ... missed you," says Mom with a sad curves of her lips. Double fuck. I can't. I just ... can't. "Uhm, yeah. Me ... me too." I clear my throat. I look around. I try to find an escape. I have to get out of here. "Oh, there she is! I guess I have to congratulate the brid
Always 33. Bryanna
I can't believe I said those words. I can't believe I said them in the first place. And, more, I can't believe I said them after a quicky in the bathroom!But, what the hell, right? The important matter is I. Said. Those. Words. I told Nate I loved him. Aaargh. He may not say it back, yet, but he will. I have it on good authority—as known as my gut—that Nate's feeling is the same. He just ... needed more time to admit it to himself, let alone me. I can live with that. Guys always have difficulties on professing their feelings, right?So, yes, of course he will say it back to me. And I can't wait to hear it. Eeeeek! My, oh, my, how I miss my boyfriend.After our bathroom encounter, Nate insisted I went back to my apartment because in the off chance he couldn't make it back to his as he have to finish the recording stuff. I half heartedly agreed with him and sulked the whole time I Lyfted back to the Central Park Tower. But, turned out, it was a blessing in disguised. Because the
Always 34. Bryanna
"You know," he continues, still folding, his back is still on me. "I like you. I do. Because you were always there when I needed someone to listen to me, or when I wanted to just be. I like it because you can be, like, my ego booster." He turns and winks. "And ... I really like the sex. Man, they were really really good." He grabs the folded shirts and puts them in the black duffel bag. "I think I'm gonna miss that when I'm gone."He then starts folding his pants. "But," he pauses and shakes his head. "Nah, I'm going to be in LA, for God's sake. How hard can it be to find pu—. Sorry. Never mind." Nate chuckles, again, then shakes his head, again. "Man." He sighs. "Can't wait to be there and start living the dream."Nate keeps doing what he's doing; gathering his things and stuffing them into another duffel—this one is faded dark blue-grey with a cheap brand emblem on it—when the other one is full. And, he keeps talking. "Seriously, though. Maybe I'm going to miss you, after all. I wi
Always 35. Bryanna
"No, you didn't mean that!" "The hell I didn't!" "Nate!" He cusses under his breath and shakes his head. "Fuck it. I'm leaving." No! He can't leave. "Nate, please." He begins to walk. "Please, Nate, please. Please, please, please." He takes a step back and moves his hand away before I'm able to hold it. But, at least, the movement makes him stop on his track. I step in front of the love of my life, putting my body between him and the door as a barrier; barricading him from leaving me. "Nate, I love you so much. Please." I try to reach out for his hand again. He dodges, again. "Nate, please. I need you. I love you. I can go with you. We ... I ... I can—" "Which part of I don't love you that you don't get, huh? I don't love you! I loved fucking you but I don't fucking love you. You see the difference?You get that now? Huh? YOU GET THAT?" I'm .... Silent. Everything falls into a deafening silence; except for Nate's heavy breathing, and my restrained cry. I don't know why I s
Always 36. Bryanna
Something somewhere is startling me, waking me up. I can't figure out my whereabout. I can't remember the last thing I did. Where am I? Until at last my skin picks up the feeling of the hard and cold surface beneath me. So my best bet is I'm on the floor. That must be why, after I gain more consciousness, I'm feeling like my limbs are made of wood, looking at how stiff they are.I sit up so, so, so slowly and groggily. The world starts to spin a little. Damn. My head hurts something fierce.Damn it. Everything hurts. Why? I try to lift my lids, to open my eyes, but it's like someone had glued them together. My eyeballs keeps rolling behind my lids. I feel them shaking. But, they won't budge. It sure is a highly challenging task to do.After some real efforts, in the end, I succeed. From behind my half closed eyes, I see the room I'm in is pretty dark, the only light is from the bulb on the corridor outside that filters in and gives my tired hazels a chance to recognize my surround
Always 37. Bryanna
It has been three weeks since the last time I saw Nate. No. To be more precise, it has been three weeks and five hours since the day he walked out of his apartment, walked out of my life. It has been three weeks and five hours of me trying to get up every morning and feel okay instead of feeling like a walking corpse. Numb. It has been three weeks and five hours of me faking smiles in front of the world, enchanting those clients with my power suits and bravado only to be a messy, pathetic, and heartbroken girl behind my apartment's door. It has been three weeks and five hours of me calling Nate's number to no avail. I really meant nothing to him. It hurts. It hurts like hell to acknowledge this fact even though my mind have been repeating it again and again and again. It hurts to acknowledge it. And to accept it? It's another story all together. It is like I'm dying a painful death. Hanging from the ceiling, both of my hands tied at the wrists, and someone sliced my skin just dee
Latest chapter
Always 48. Bryanna
What's happening to me?It is not until I hear the familiar voice of Nurse what's-her-name that my hard-beating heart slows down.Holy moly, Batman. I'm a mess."Oh, hey. You must be the baby daddy. Glad to see you," she greets with her cheery voice.Before I can turn on my back and swat that statements away to hell, Linc chimes in, "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Lincoln."What in the actual hell? I sit up too fast and get myself a whiplash.Shit."Whoa, whoa, slow down, honey." The nurse suddenly stood beside me and holds me on the forearm. "Didn't think you'll be so excited to see me," she jests, trying to make it light.The giant prick snickers.I try to send a glare at him discreetly but fail miserably when Nurse—I glance at her tag—Laura eyes us back and forth. "Everything alright, honey?" she asks as she checks up on my vital."Yeah," I croak, "everything is fine.""I guess so." She writes something on the paper she brought with her. "And, please, lay low for a while, yeah? No inten
Always 47. Bryanna
What the hell is he doing here? Who do he think he is showing up in my room after ALL that he did? And, yeah, I really mean ALL OF IT.The nerve of this freaking prick."Sweetheart, is everything okay?"Dad's voice break through the fog of disdain that coated my brain, but, still, it takes a while for the question to truly register. I shift my eyes from the big, uninvited, and unwelcomed guy that now standing near my bed to my parents.And, it's not a surprise to see confusion painting their faces. Because of course they didn't know. And I don't want them to ever know about what had happened between me and the guy who they think of as their own son beside Adrian.Don't ask. I personally don't know why I'm still trying to keep this as a secret from them. Either I want to keep my name, or ....Don't. Don't go there.I shouldn't think like that way. I shouldn't think about it anymore.This is all his fault.But I can do nothing about it in front of mom and dad. "Yeah, yeah, Daddy. Everyth
Always 46. Lincoln
What the fuck did he just say?What. The. Fuck?"What the fuck, Linc? You're not listening?" protests Adrian.Yep, you see that right. The very best friend who had ghosted me for this past months is now drinking my liquor like it's fresh water and he's been stranded on the Sahara.I should have known when I saw his ass walking in from the door that he wasn't bearing any good news. I should have known when I saw him and he just waved his hand asking for a drink. I should have known.When the most stubborn prick on the planet shows up at your bar after punching your mug ugly, giving you silent treatment for months, you know something is wrong.And it really is. Terribly, fucking devastatingly wrong."Slow down, man. You want to knock yourself out or something?" I warn, reaching for the bottle he is gripping so hard like a lifeline.He swats my palm. Hard. Fuck, that hurts."Yeah, yeah. I wanna do that so baaad," he slurs. He then chuckles. "You realize how funny it was? I'm trying to kno
Always 45. Bryanna
I can't. I can't do this anymore.My body is so weak. There's nothing left to be released from my belly, but my throat don't get the memo and keeps on constricting. Dry heaving is sooo draining.With shaky legs, with the last strength I have in me, I drag my body out of the bathroom and reach for my phone on the bedside table.I can't do this alone.I can't if I want my baby safe.I can't if I want to safe me too.The call is still connecting.Come on, pick up. God, help me, God. Help. Please. Please. Please.She picks up on the third ring."Sweetie?" she asks, a little hesitant. Maybe she's questioning her own eyes. She doesn't believe I am calling her now. This is my fault. I did this to her. I stopped calling her months ago.God."Mama," I answer, as loud as I can. But, with the abused throat and the dehydration, I sound like a scratch on a sandpaper.Hearing this, her alarms picks up. "Sweetie, what's happening? Are you okay?" Panic colors her voice."No, Ma," I croak again."Oh my
Always 44. Bryanna
And suddenly out of nowhere Nate is everywhere.The internet is blowing with the news of this up and coming artist who will certainly make you lost your mind with his voice and his charm. They talked about his looks. His hypnotizing blue eyes, his lean but now muscular body. They talked about the aura he's giving out. They talked about his first single which successfully placed Nate on the chart, on people's attention. The other star starts to notice him too. They talked about that "mini tour" he did. They talked about his soon to be out first album. They talked about a real big all around the States tour after that. They talked about everything Nathaniel Moore. And they talked about all of his sexcapades. It seems like the rising star has already spread his wings in the women section. Then I see it. A photo of Nate kissing a woman in front of a building, a hotel to be exact. Bile rising in my throat. I'm gonna be sick. I run to the bathroom in my office and heaving to the toilet
Always 43. Bryanna
NowShe darts through the apartment and be in my room in a speed of light. "Tell me you listened to me," she demands as soon as she's here.I am leaning back against the head of the bed with pillows supporting my back and going through social media like nothing happened. I mean, nothing had happened if I consider what I did as nothing. Right?"Bry!" She snatches my phone away. "Hey!" I exclaim, sitting up. "I know you're upset but can you please not take it out on my phone?""Tell me you didn't do anything stupid," she insists. Her beautiful eyes penetrates me, searching for the truth from deep inside of me. She, like hundreds of times before, sees everything. "You did, didn't you?"Gotcha. But I keep my eyes on hers. "Why, Bry? Why? He's a jerk! You've been good these past months. You're better. You're happy again. Why?" I shrug. She's still waiting for my answer. She gets none of it. "That's it?" she gawks at my response. "I'm worrying myself sick about you and you just shrug
Always 42. Bryanna
Fuck. I'm pregnant. The last nine pregnancy tests on the sink said I am. The last one, the tenth out of ten I hurriedly bought this morning, now I'm holding in my trembling hand says the same.I'm fucking pregnant. How? Shit. I didn't just ask that. I know the how. I know the why. I know for sure the who. I just ... can't wrap my mind around it. Fuck. Shit.I touch my still flat stomach with shaking hands. I am pregnant. I have a baby in me. A baby is growing in my belly. What the fuck should I do? I really have to stop cussing. It's not good for the baby, is it? Fu—God! I'm having a baby? My feet feels weak. I totally should sit on this. Where do I sit? Here, on the bathroom floor? Oh, okay. I can't be thinking about all the germs in time like this. I really, really, really need to sit before my legs give out. Please, don't. I can't add falling into the things that will giving bad impact for the baby. Me freaking out right now is enough stress. I think. Right? RIGHT? O
Always 41. Bryanna
"Fuck, this is hard. Why is this so hard?" "Well, good morning to you too." I follow her into my apartment. It's only nine in Saturday morning. I should be sleeping, soundly, on my bed. Instead I'm waking up to this woman's hectic call telling me that she wants me to open the apartment door for her myself. She still have her key though. You need to know that. Get why I'm a tiny bit pissed at my best friend? My best friend who is all curled up on the couch now. And still whining. "Why, why, why?" I sit my sleepy butt on the coffee table. "What happened?" She whines some more. My brows slowly takes a hike to my forehead. Well, this is unusual. "Mo, what's going on?""There's nothing going on. Nothing happened," she chokes from behind her palms.Reaching out, I pull her hands with mine. Red rimming her wet eyes. Worry starts to color my face. "Then what is it?" She huffs, wipes her eyes, and sits up. Casting her gaze down on her lap, she explains, "I just got my period after a wee
Always 40. Bryanna
"I think I'm done." I wake up from the stupor I was in and put the milkshake back onto the table at last. Then I clean my hands with the napkin. Dump the dirty paper on my plate. At the very last, I paste the fakest smile on my face and direct it to Mo. She knows. She knows what I'm honestly asking of her. Get me out of here. She slaps the same fake smile as quick. However it is a little slanted, making her look like she's battling constipation right now. My smile morphs into something a bit more real. Only her. I internally shake my head. But, I still need to get out of this hell, like five seconds ago."Linc, can we get these boxed? I'm sorry, but suddenly I have this urge to eat at home where I can stretch my legs and watch some bad TV with my best friend. You know, enjoying the good life."What the heck? What is she talking about? Only her. Indeed, only MY best friend. "Okay." Lincoln's voice pictures his bewilderment perfectly. I still don't have the nerve to look at him.
