Gianna I am trying to stay strong, but it feels like I am failing. Fear is crawling all over my heart, and it seems like I am losing everything which I hold dear to my heart. Maybe I am overreacting, but I can't shake off this feeling that something isn't right. I don't want Jarek to go, but I can't stop him, either. My mind is telling me to be rational and trust Jarek, but my heart is telling me not to let him go. I have never felt so conflicted in my life about how conflicted I am feeling at this moment. Looking upward, I blink the tears dry that have gathered in my eyes. Since the moment I found out that he is leaving in the morning, everything has become real. Suddenly, the weight of the situation is pressing down on my chest. I would not be there with him, and the thought of being away from him caused anxiety to bubble inside my chest. I run my hand over my belly as the boys seem to have caught on that I am worried has been frantically moving inside my womb. It seems so
Gianna For the first time since our wedding, the main dining hall is opened, and almost everyone present in the clubhouse is at the table. I was surprised to find this main dining hall, as it was the last thing I expected to find in a rowdy clubhouse. But Diana told me back in the days when her father used to be the Alpha, the clubhouse used to hold lavish formal gatherings whether other Alphas and their high-ranking wolves were invited during the full moon. Since the pack system no longer existed and the wolves were in smaller populations, to satisfy their wolves' need to run in packs, these runs were organized. But now it rarely happens as everyone has settled and just like our other clubhouses have been formed. So, these Alphas have their own clubs to organize runs, just like Jarek organizes these during every full moon. So, as everyone was here, Jarek decided to throw this meal so everyone could simply have a good time with their families, forgetting about the impending threat
Gianna "Love." The warmest voice reaches my ears, pulling me back from my deep state of sleep. "Wake up, my beautiful mate." That deep rumbling voice to which every fiber of my cell is attuned whispers again near my ear. A soft smile forms on my lips on its own, and without even opening my eyes, I shift back and snuggle more into Jarek's chest as his comforting warmth cocoons me into a blanket of safety and love. His low chuckle tickles my neck, sending shivers down my spine as he wraps his arm around me and pulls me even closer. His arm is under my head while his other arm goes around my waist as he presses a few soft kisses behind the shell of my ear. He slips his hand under my shirt, places his palm on my belly, and begins rubbing circles on it. Tingles erupt across my skin because of his touch. I moan lowly, enjoying this sensation. "You like that?" He hums against my skin as he continues to rub soothing circles on my belly while his lips continue their sweet assault on
Gianna Walking to the window, I look outside as the emptiness inside my heart grows with each passing moment. Jarek has been gone for four days, but it feels like a lifetime. There is a hollowness inside me, like a huge part of my existence is missing. And somewhere, this is what has been. Jarek is a part of my being, and without him, I am incomplete. Everything is meaningless to me; all I want is to have him back. I take a small breath as I continue to stare at the path which took Jarek away from me. This is how my all-time passes when I am not handling the club affair... waiting for my man. I watch this road until my eyes can no longer bear to stay open. Even when I sleep, all my attention is focused on the voice, which can silence all my fears. "Luna." Blinking, I tear away my gaze from outside and turn to look at Ryder standing in the doorway of the office. His jaw tenses, and his gaze falls to the ground, reading the same question in my eyes that I have been asking him
Gianna After my last breakdown, I feel a little better as I have let out some of my pent-up emotions. The void of Jarek still hurts me, and I would give anything just to have him back in my arms. But still, I don't feel as suffocated as I felt earlier. There is still no news of them, and I don't know what to expect Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath, and then through my mouth, I exhale slowly. After a moment, I repeat the same thing as I continue to inhale and exhale a few more times. I have been in discomfort since last night. My emotions are haywire, and I can feel how they are affecting my babies. I need to keep my emotions in control; especially, I need to keep my stress level down because when I am stressed, the boys get stressed as well. Placing my palms behind me on the ground, I slightly lean back on my arms as I feel a sharp pain in my stomach. "How are you doing?" Diana walks inside the room, carrying a mug, and sits beside me on the floor. Biting my lip, I take a
Gianna "Eat this." Diana hands me a bowl of cooked meat. "Meat will give you strength, and also it will also be good for pups." "I don't feel like eating." Licking my lips, I shake my head. "I know, honey, but you need to." She gives me a sympathetic look and pats my head, "You need strength to go through the full moon, as the pain will increase on the full moon night. We have to prepare you for that." "Fucking hell." Gritting my teeth, I look heavenward, feeling tired as this pain drains all my energy. "It is good that Jarek isn't here. Otherwise, I would have chopped his dick." I groan, causing everyone to laugh. "If he so much tried to get anywhere near me when he comes back home, he will be sleeping in the doghouse." I rub the underside of my belly skin, which is itching as it has been stretched to its limit. Susan, the older she-wolf, instantly comes to my side, and then placing her hands on my belly, she lightly presses it. She feels my stomach for a minute or two and then
Gianna Since I am feeling a bit better now, I have decided to join everyone for breakfast. During day time, I feel relatively better, and the pain is also bearable... nothing like that I can't handle. However, at night time, things turn difficult as I start experiencing waves of intense pain. Diana and the rest of the she-wolves really have helped me by guiding how to manage pain, but still, each time when the pain hits, it drains me out. The only thing which provides my heart relief is knowing that my pups are showing signs of being healthy and strong alpha pups by responding to the influence of the full moon. As Diana told me, I tried to reach out to Jarek, but I couldn't. I tried taping our bond, but all I felt was like hitting a wall of brick. I thought something magical would happen, and I would instantly be able to connect with Jarek but no nada. Honestly, I thought it would be like the movie Twilight where Bella saw or heard Edward when she did something reckless, but sadl
Gianna "I have asked Tony to work with these new kids who will most probably go through their first transition this full moon. Normally, it is Eric who works with them as he is the best trainer we have got, but since he isn't here and I thought Tony would be the best to do this job as he can connect with these new kids." Ryder walks me to the training ground where some kids around fifteen to sixteen years are practicing with Tony. Tony gaze shifts to us, and after barking some orders, he jogs toward us. "Hey, how are you doing, mama?" A boyish grin appears on his face as he wraps his arm around my shoulder in a side hug, "We have heard you are pretty badass, handling everything like a champ. We all are so proud of you, and as a gift, I volunteer to babysit your boys whenever you need a break. After all, I am going to be their cool uncle." He winks at me, which earns him an eye roll from Ryder; however, I can't help but smile. "Thank you." I smile at him, "I will remember this offe