Chapter 1-Amara (Present day, 20 years old)

A brightness shines through my closed eyes, signaling I've probably slept too late. I open my eyes and groggily reach for my phone to check the time. 10:04, great. Felix, my mate and the beta of our pack, probably turned off my alarm again. I could just stay in bed; besides, it's not like I have anything to do besides being my mate's housewife. I had hoped that by turning out to be mated to the beta, I would be able to do more than simply waste away as his eye candy. But alas, my only privileges as the beta female were an occasional training session and getting to plan the big lavish parties for the alpha. Woo-hoo. Other than that, I only got to accompany Felix to pack meetings, parties off territory the allied packs would throw, and again, basically be his eye candy wherever he went. One positive was that Sophie had turned out to be mated to the gamma, so she was there whenever I was forced to be with all the ranked females. It didn't come as a surprise that she was mated to Gamma Colton; she had eyes for him ever since we were kids. She even saved herself for her mate. She was so happy when she turned 18 and realized the Goddess Selene answered her prayers. A pang of pain hit my chest at my thoughts. 

It's not that I did not love my mate, but I just wanted more than this. But this is what I've been stuck with, disappointment. My mother always spoke of the mate bond like it was magical, that your heart beats for that person alone; she told me the bond can heal your broken soul, and you never want to be away from them. She also talked about the sparks, like someone took an open live wire to your skin everywhere they touched. I guess she and my dad had just been together for so long that their love intensified everything, I don't know. It certainly was not like that for me, I enjoyed my time away from Felix, and the sparks were present, but I would describe it more like a quick zap when he touched me. He was good to me, though; he seemed to take an interest in me when my parents died. When I reported what I saw to him and the alpha the following day, he made it a point to be there for me. We spent all the days before my 18th birthday together, and even though I felt like I was drowning in grief, he only left my side for his beta duties. He was there for my shift, along with my brother, Seth. That's when I met my wolf, Tamisra, and she identified him as our mate. She didn't seem wildly in love with him either, which always confused me. I thought the wolf part of us went absolutely bonkers for their mates. Guess I have a faulty wolf.

'You know we're literally the same person, and I can hear everything you think, right?' Tamisra says, making sure I know she's rolling her eyes. 

'Yeah, that's why I made sure to think it extra loud,' I responded with a laugh while she started grumbling to herself, asking something about why the goddess cursed her with me as a human. I laughed again, but she knows she's actually my favorite part of myself. I may have been disappointed with most things in my life, but my wolf was not one of them. 

Having finally had my fill of my morning self-pity, I threw the covers off of me and stripped while heading for the shower. Ah, my favorite part of the day. I started the water while brushing my teeth, waiting for it to warm. 

Rinsing my mouth and stepping in, I let the hot water loosen up all my muscles and just stood there, so lost in my head that I didn't even hear Felix arriving home until the shower door opened, and he stepped in with me. 

"Hi, baby," he said while wrapping his arms around me and kissing my shoulder. His vanilla and cinnamon scent swirled around me, along with the smell of dirt and blood from morning training. I turned around to face him and made a face when I saw him covered head to toe in mud and blood. I pushed him into his side of the water to rinse him off while he laughed at me. 

"How was training?" I asked while taking the shower head and helping him get rinsed off

"It was good; there are a couple new warriors who are really showing some potential. I offered them an extra training session in the afternoon just to get an idea of what they're capable of," he said while reaching for his loofah and scrubbing himself.

"Well, that's good; maybe they'll be able to help with night patrols since you've been so shorthanded. You can always throw them on the borders with the lowest attack risk until they're fully trained," I said as he smiled at me. He was clearly in a good mood today, so I decided to press my luck. I can join your training with them; I don't have anything to do today until around 5 or 6, when Luna Cara and Sophie want to meet to discuss the full moon party. I said hopefully. He immediately scowled at me, so I added my puppy dog eyes and bit my bottom lip while I waited for him to respond. He sighed 

"Not today, Amara; why don't you just enjoy your day off and do some girl things like all the other pack females?" 

"Every day is a fucking day off," I grumble.

"The battlefield isn't a place for a female; I don't want to see you getting hurt. And besides, I'd have to kill any fucker who lays his hands on what's mine," he said while kissing my neck and running his hands up and down my wet body. I internally cringed, not wanting to be touched anymore, when he turned me around and pushed me against the wall while rubbing his erection into my ass. Great. 

I pushed myself off the wall and turned my side of the shower off while he groaned in annoyance. 

"I'm not in the mood right now; I haven't even brushed my teeth; I have morning breath," I said while stepping out and grabbing a towel. We're one of the only packs which don't allow their women to train, yet they're so short on warriors. They would rather leave us vulnerable to attacks by not having all the borders patrolled than allow a woman to potentially be stronger than one of their precious males. Fucking male egos are so fragile. You would think my mate would want me to be able to defend myself in case I'm ever caught in a situation like I was when my parents were killed. I scoff to myself as I get dressed. 

I go to the kitchen and start whipping breakfast together for us. I make Felix's plate before I make my own and set it on the table. While plating my food, I hear him storm out and slam the door shut behind him. I roll my eyes but am relieved he's gone. I made too much food for just myself, so maybe I can call Sophie over for breakfast. She's probably just rolling out of bed, and well, she couldn't cook to save her life. I watched the woman burn spaghetti once while it was boiling. Reaching for my phone, I call her

"Hey, bitch what's up?" She answers almost immediately

"I made breakfast."

"Say less, girl. Give me 10," she responds and hangs up. I giggle; I can always count on her to eat my extra food. 

True to her word, 10 minutes later, Sophie walks into my house and sits at the table where I'm sipping my coffee and picking at my food. 

"You got anything to do today? I'm going to the shops over in the neutral territory if you want to come along. Janice is coming with," she says while she starts eating. Ugh, not Janice; she's had her eye on Felix since we were in high school and did not take well that I was mated to him. 

"Really, Janice?" I say back to Sophie, raising an eyebrow at her

"She's not so bad; besides, it's not like she'll say anything outright to you."

"Right, she'll just be fake and go talk about me later. But fine, I'll be bored out of my mind today otherwise," I respond and get up to get ready. 

20 minutes later, I'm looking at myself in the mirror. My long silver and black hair is free, and I wear a tight red top tucked into my black jeans. My red lipstick makes my ivory skin look even whiter, and my green eyes pop against my blended light pink eyeshadow. I decide to do some wings on my eyeliner because why not. I finish with just a little mascara and walk out to Sophie. 

"Damn, girl, I didn't realize we were going all out. Now you have to follow me home while I get ready so I can at least be worthy of being seen in public with you," she says with a smirk.

"Just get ready here; we use the same makeup brands anyways. Besides, I'll never use that nude palette that Felix got me for my birthday."

"The Fenty one? Why not? I mean, I'm not complaining that you're graciously offering it to me, but why?"

"Just not me," I shrug. Sophie purses her lips. She's the only person who knows how me and Tamisra feel about Felix. Actually, any gifts he gets me I usually just give to her after a while. He doesn't really know what I like. Not that I'm not grateful or trying to be a brat, but he buys me things he wants to see me in, not things I wear. He's repeatedly complained that I look too goth when I dress up. I don't dress to impress him, so I don't really give a shit.

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About an hour later, I'm with Sophie and Janice heading to the training grounds to drop off lunch for Felix. He can be a real bitch when he gets hangry, and after deciding that the dippy eggs over greens I had made for breakfast wouldn't travel well, I just threw a quick sandwich together for him. Felix and I live in a small cottage right next to the packhouse, so we only have to walk over. When I get to the training grounds, I notice they're empty. Weird, I thought he was training those new warriors today. They may have already finished, so I decide to check his office, and the girls walk up with me. When we get there, I smell his scent under the door and another one I don't recognize. I open the door with my key and find him balls-deep in an omega bent over his desk. We make eye contact, and he freezes; the omega immediately scrambles to gather her clothes and quickly apologizes to me on her way out the door. 

I'm completely dumbfounded. I stare at him while the gears are turning in my head. I didn't feel his betrayal. Fated mates feel when their mates are unfaithful; everyone knows that. 

"Amara, I…" he starts to say, but I cut him off.

"Don't," I say coldly, which makes him flinch. I turn around to find Sophie staring wide-eyed at me while Janice has a smirk on her face. Geez, she could at least pretend to be sad for me. I immediately notice some of the packhouse staff looking at me with pity. So many people saw that, and soon enough, the whole pack will know that their beta female was cheated on. Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them fall. I hold my chin up, close his door, and head to the doors to walk home, not meeting anyone's eyes.