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63- Guilt and More Unforgivable Guilt
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2024-10-31 16:10:06Related chapters
Alpha, Not Luna 64- Turmoil
Soren's POV I paced the length of the kitchen, my hands trembling, not from weakness but from the battle raging inside me. My wolf was close to the surface, a snarling, restless beast clawing to be freed. The kitchen was a hive of activity; the omegas moved with purpose, prepping my dinner under Beta Will’s watchful eye. A few gammas lounged nearby, talking in hushed tones, and casting wary glances in my direction. Their Luna’s loose behaviour out in the open? If my pack find out she is playing house with the delta- I will be looked down upon by them. They will think me weak- not weak of mind but by brawl. In our world strength means everything. If they suspect that the delta did such, my pack would expect me to ruin him. Torture him. They would think he is contesting my leadership. It would be best to end him. Or- give up being alpha. And someone else would take my place. That is the way our wolf-structured world hierarchy thrives- very domina
Alpha, Not Luna 65- Logan Gains Control
Alpha Soren’s POV Without me actually saying it, she understood what I meant. Her eyes shimmered with something I couldn’t place, and she took a hesitant step toward me, her hand reaching out. I wanted to recoil, to pull away from her touch- those hands touch the delta- but my body betrayed me. The mate pull is stronger now because I had accepted the bond and little sparks dance between us. The warmth of her hand on my arm sent a shock through me, and for a moment, the anger receded, replaced by a torrent of conflicting emotions- desire, pain, confusion. And calm. “I didn’t want to hurt you,” she whispered, her voice trembling. “I thought… I thought it was the only way.” The sincerity in her voice almost undid me. Almost. But then I remembered that night, the pain, the betrayal, and the rage came flooding back with a vengeance. She sleeps with another man and forces me to accept it- to be okay with it? She took my emotions away- what right does she have over my personal- Logan’s
Alpha, Not Luna 66- My Diary
MegThe drive back to Jax's house felt longer than usual. My thoughts were a tangled mess, replaying the scene in Soren's kitchen over and over. His anger, his accusations- they had cut deeper than any physical wound. But what haunted me the most was the realization that he was right. Red is silent. Disheartened even because she was caught between me and Logan. And while I did not need her to come to my defence with him, I am glad she did. But it felt different- as if she and I were one. Oh. I hadn't meant to use my Sigma persuasion on him- not intentionally, at least. I didn't even know how to control it. But I couldn't deny the truth when he said it out loud. That night, when I told him to leave and forget about everything, I had been desperate to get him out of the house because of Kenzie. But I had no idea that my words, spoken in the heat of the moment, had carried the weight of my power. The thought made my s
Alpha, Not Luna 67- The Old Bridge
Alpha SorenInstead of focusing on more important things concerning my leadership role- like the fact that the sheriff might be working on getting a search warrant to invade our privacy- which by the way he is one hundred per cent wrong about, my mind is occupied with more darker and selfish thoughts. Myself. It’s been two days since I saw my mate but whatever. I am too mad right now to care much about it. I poured another glass of whiskey, the amber liquid sloshing around the edges as my hand trembled. I hated the way it made me feel out of control, and unhinged, but tonight, I needed it. I needed something to dull the storm raging inside me; I remembered that day on the training grounds. The memory played in my mind like a broken record, each detail vivid and sharp. Meg had been sparring with Jaden, her movements graceful but fierce, her determination shining through every punch and kick. But then, Jaden had landed a hard blow to her ribcage, sending her stumbling back. I had been
Alpha, Not Luna 68- Handling ;)
A.N.- SMUT AHEADAlpha SorenMegan’s brown eyes were begging me to swallow her whole. Her smell- slightly sweaty and a bit earthy mingled with her normally sugary sweet-smelling odour and it turned me on more. Her bottom lip caught between her even teeth. Her defiance and her strength were intoxicating. It was a challenge that I couldn’t resist a fire that demanded to be quenched one that I knew only would burn hotter with each touch. I needed to prove to her- to myself that no one could satisfy her like I could. The jolts that she won’t feel with anyone, only me. The air is electrified between us. I grabbed her under her butt, parting her willing legs around me, grinding her against my stiffened pants front and she gasped. A high-pitched caught breath sort of choked sound and the song sent a surge of satisfaction through me. I needed more, more of that fire. My hand tangled with her hair, yanking her head back- not roughly but not gently either- so I could clear her pouty lips fro
Alpha, Not Luna 69- A Quiet but Heavy Morning
MegI slipped into the house just before dawn, the first light of day barely peeking over the horizon. Every muscle in my body ached, my legs trembling with exhaustion as I quietly closed the door behind me. The night had been a whirlwind, a storm that I still couldn’t quite process. My thoughts were a tangled mess of anger, confusion, and something I couldn’t quite name- a darkness that seemed to linger, no matter how hard I tried to shake it off. Soren. His name echoed in my mind like a curse, a reminder of everything that had gone wrong. His touch still lingered on my skin, a ghost of the past that refused to fade. The raw power he exuded, the way he had commanded me, consumed me- it terrified me. But more than that, it made me angry. Angry that he still had this hold over me, despite everything he had done. I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. The smell of Jax’s home surrounded me- warm, comforting, safe. It was a stark contrast to the chaos of t
Alpha, Not Luna 70- Missing
Alpha Soren’s POV She’s avoiding me again. Smirking as I get off my bed, I take a quick warm shower, even whistling. Hah-ha. Meg has been absent from my house since the night of our coupling. I wonder how she explained the marks and bruises I left on her body to the delta. It fills me with an overly- excited kind of joy. By day four, I am not laughing and Logan is seething. I was not worried before because she tended to avoid sticky situations- like the day I accepted the mate bond- she avoided me nearly three days after that- One thing with my wolf is that he seems to not know the word sorry. But we are both to blame there. Something is wrong- he sensed it. I know better than to question my beast’s instinct and so, in the middle of breakfast, I jump in my pick-up heading to the delta’s house. Did I also mention in the past three days that I have been failing to contact her wolf? Logan explained to me that Red dislikes me and I get it. Honestly, I would dislike m
Alpha, Not Luna 71- Back Home
MegWhat is wrong with me? That question has been rattling around in my head for days. I stared out the window of our place back in our home. Not Jax’s house in White Mountain Valley but here where our regular lives were. Where I had my job- had because I had taken an indefinite leave of absence. But my rattled thoughts are refusing to leave me in peace. I can’t make sense of it. How I could have been so wanton with Soren in the forest, then turn around and be with Jax as if nothing had happened? The guilt gnaws at me, a constant, bitter reminder of what I’ve done. It’s as if I’m being torn in two different directions, each piece of my heart demanding something I can’t give fully to either of them. Soren and I share a bond that I can’t ignore, no matter how much I try. The pull between us is undeniable, even after all these years and all the pain. When I was with him in the forest, it was like everything else disappeared- my hurt, the anger, the confusion. As if it did not exist fo
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Alpha, Not Luna 83- Decisions
Megan’s POV Breathing out harshly, I stand at the window of the small office in Jax’s house, staring out at the woods that bordered the pack lands in the near distance. The morning sun filtered through the trees, casting long shadows on the ground, but I couldn’t focus on the beauty of it. My mind is elsewhere- on Soren, on Mackenzie, and on the pack that was slowly falling apart. On the three young boys that were plagued with fevers for the past two nights and what would happen to them after I left. Jax said it was normal for boys to get fevers that way but still I worried. The k*llings that were happening to the pack members and humans. The fact that Gail thought it was related to her own pack being slaughtered years back. But most importantly on Mackenzie and Soren. She needed her father and he, his daughter. Red is very stubborn and thinks Soren deserves nothing but my scorn and only softened because Soren being hurt meant her mate Logan being hurt as well. Will, had requested
Alpha, Not Luna 82- A Weakened Alpha
Alpha Soren's POV I paced the length of my office, my steps heavy, the tension rolling off me in waves. I’d spent my life protecting this pack- giving it my soul and it cost me my woman and my child! My fists clenched at my sides, and I could feel the frustration coursing through my veins, tightening my chest. Logan was almost a ghost of his former self. He barely stirred today, a faint shadow where there used to be power. He was slipping away. Five days is how long I have not seen Megan. Red has somehow blocked Logan and he has not been the same since. Logan is tearing me apart from the inside. It’s been five days since I last saw her, and the bond- what little of it I could still feel, is nearly gone. Her doing, of course. She has that power over me, over us. The pain is relentless, a constant throb in my chest that makes it hard to breathe. Logan can’t reach Red, can’t feel her, and it’s driving him mad. He’d clawed at me, howling in my head, begging to break free and find her
Alpha, Not Luna 81- Selfish Meg
Alpha Soren’s POV Her words hung in the air, colder than any wind that’s ever brushed over me. It could give the Arctic winds competition ‘I'll break your arm.’ The threat cut deeper than it should have. Meg's violet eyes, once soft and filled with something I didn’t deserve, were now hardened with the same venom she reserved for rogues. She wasn’t bluffing. I knew that, but it was the way she stood between me and him-like he was something worth protecting. It made my blood boil. I should’ve ripped his throat out the second he stood in my way. And as if sensing Logan’s desperation to break free and slice his claws across the delta’s neck, Will rushes everyone out, leaving Megan and I in privacy. Meg, standing there like I wasn’t even her Alpha anymore. The worst part was, maybe I wasn’t. She was different now. Stronger. Surer of herself than I’d ever seen her. And it made me realize just how much I had lost. She was everything any alpha would want and more too
Alpha, Not Luna 80- Smack Dab With the Truth
Alpha SorenFinally, it’s 10 am and with it, the dreaded meeting. Beta and two gammas are outside with another person- possibly the lab tech. Taking two minutes outside the door to appreciate Meg's scent, I bask in it. It's been too long without her.I was barely holding it together when I walked into the room, finding Meg and the delta already waiting- the bipolar in me again. The tension was thick, almost suffocating. Logan growls. Megan looked as though she hadn’t slept either, with dark circles under her eyes. The delta was seated by her side, a silent but steady presence. The sight of him fuelled my anger, and I had to fight to keep my wolf in check. A torrent of emotion surges through me. “We need to talk,” Megan began, her voice strained. “About Mackenzie.” Huh, I figured Logan would have done the ‘run and tell’ his mate I knew already being as she convinced him to hold himself in check and to try to contain me as well. Red was powerful enough to separate my wolf from me in
Alpha, Not Luna 79- My Daughter
Alpha SorenThe delta’s child tugged on my sleeve bringing me out of my shock mode and I asked her who told her that while I scanned the fighters behind her, a deep frown setting up house, on my forehead. The pack was full of malicious wolves and I will punish them. Mocking me as alpha is forbidden. And they were poking fun at me because of my luna playing house with another man’s baby. I knew it was only a matter of time before word got out but I was hoping Meg would have seen reason and forgiven me before that happened. Thus, coming home to take her place in my bed. “Nobody silly. I ask you.” She points to me with her tiny finger. “Mummy said my daddy is strong and brave. She say he special.” She was cute in the way she spoke missing out words- and she just saved the usual pack gossipers from a cruel whipping. Officially introducing myself to her, I lowered myself to converse better with her throwing her head back, showing she was tired of looking up. Plus, the loud breath she
Alpha, Not Luna 78- Wait Until Tomorrow
Alpha SorenThe Moon Goddess must truly despise me. Why else would she punish me so? I was barely holding on, teetering on the edge of my sanity. It had been weeks since I last saw Meg. Weeks of torture that only the Moon Goddess herself could have devised. Logan was growing weaker with every passing day. The absence of his mate was like a slow, excruciating death. And I felt every bit of it. Even if I had hoped to gather the strength to reject Meg, to sever the bond that only brought pain- at my strongest, I was powerless when it came to Megan. Both my wolf and I would accept death rather than live without our mate. I was pacing my office- I should not and save my strength but I am restless and agitated. A knock on the door pulled me from my spiralling thoughts. “Come in,” I barked, not in the mood for interruptions, though anything was better than this maddening speculation. when Beta burst through the door, his face flushed with urgency. “Alpha, they’ve arrived,” Will said, his
Alpha, Not Luna 77- Eyes Like Mine
Little MackenzieI like the park. It’s big, with lots of grass and trees, and I can run so fast! I can hear the birds singing in the trees and the wind whooshing past my ears when I run. Today, I'm playing with the other kids from the wolf pack. My shoes get all muddy, but Mummy says it’s okay because they’re just shoes. There’s this boy named Benjamin, and he’s kind of fun. He’s got a funny laugh that makes me giggle, and we run around and around until we fall into the grass, all out of breath. Beth, his mom, says I should be nice to him because we’re gonna be friends forever. I wonder if that means we’ll get married one day. Maybe. Mummy says she and Uncle Jax grew up together here, just like me and Benjamin. They were friends when they were small, and now they’re big and still friends. So, maybe I’ll marry Benjamin when we’re big, but only if he stops pulling my hair. Maybe I’ll just have him as my boyfriend. Gross. There’s a lot of people at the park today, grown-ups too. I l
Alpha, Not Luna 76- Admittance
JaxAfter getting a very tired Mackenzie inside and settled- poor child so confused by everything- we found ourselves alone, the weight of the impending confrontation pressing down on us. Meg stood by the only open window in the entire house- because it faced the forest and not the pack where someone could see it by chance- staring out at the dimly moonlit forest beyond, her shoulders tense with her unspoken worry. But I know her. Walking up behind her, I wrap my arms around her tiny waist, pulling her close. I kiss the nape of her neck and she sighs leaning back against my chest, letting go of a shaky breath, and relaxing against me, the tension slowly melting away as I hold her. “Jax,” she began, her voice barely above a whisper, “what if he doesn’t accept it? What if he tries to take her from me?” He can't. I love that little girl as if she were my own flesh and blood. It nearly breaks my heart to hear the fear in her tiny voice and to know this is what has been corroding her b
Alpha, Not Luna 75- Back
JaxIt’s been almost a month since we should have gone back to White Mountain Valley, but I kept pushing it off. Meg needed more time, and honestly, so did I. This wasn’t just about going back to the pack; it was about reintroducing Mackenzie to Soren- this time as his daughter. I knew it would be a bombshell, one that would change everything, and Meg wasn’t ready to face that on her own. She said she couldn’t do it without me, and I couldn’t leave her to handle it alone. Meg had been acting different these past few weeks. Clingy, maybe a little sad too. It was like she could feel the pull of the mate bond with Soren growing stronger as we got closer to the day we’d have to go back. I hated seeing her like this, torn between two men, and I hated even more that she thought I was trying to push her back to him. It wasn’t true, but the mate bond is a powerful thing, and it was eating at her, making her question everything. One night, just over a week ago, she broke down. We were sittin
