Chapter 10

Kate POV

            Rolling over in bed I look at the ceiling.  It was already two weeks that I had spent in my room ignoring the outside world.  My mom, my dad and Lily had been trying daily to visit me.  Aside from accepting limited amounts of food, I just could not stomach conversation.

            That day two weeks ago I had visited my father in the afternoon as we had agreed.  He and my mom had both been there. They both hugged me tightly whispering words of comfort as I had felt those tears coming back.  Wiping them away I quickly moved from them not wanting to shatter any more in front of them or anyone for that matter. 

            My mom took my hand as we moved to sit in the two chairs Rafe and I had occupied earlier that day.  The office itself had a lot of dark wood, influenced by a male as the Alpha.  Another office down the hall was my mother’s office, one she had decorated herself.  When I soon took the role as Alpha, I would seek my mother’s help in freshening up the office to suit my tastes. 

            My father sat on the edge of his desk just looking between my mom and me.  “How are you doing Kate?”, he asked suddenly.  I shook my head and stated I was doing alright considering the circumstances.  I was still a little shaken by the rejection but I would be fine and wanted to get things underway so I could assume my role as Alpha of the pack.

            My mom, who had been looking at my, suddenly turned her head away toward my father.  My father paused for a moment and then shocked me with his next words.  “Kate, I think we should hold off making you Alpha for six months to a year.”. 

            The silence was deafening.  I looked between my mother and father in total shock.  All that ran through my mind was that I had been rejected and was now going to be punished for it.  Seeing the gamut of emotions running on my face, my mother tried to take my hand again, but I pulled away.  My father continued, “Kate – an alpha needs to be strong.  The pain you have suffered will not go away in a month.  You need time to heal and determine whether you can or will want to take the Alpha role.”. 

            I could not contain myself anymore, I repeated what my father had said, “Whether I want to take the Alpha role?!? I have spent a lifetime training for this role.  I have spent a lifetime always watching my actions, being a good leader, being among our top fighters and you question me, after being rejected, as to my desire to fulfill my destiny. The destiny that contributed to me being rejected?”.  My voice had gotten louder as I tried to make sense of the conversation we were having.  I did not care, I was hurt.  Hurt by the rejection, hurt by the sudden doubt in my abilities and hurt that my mother did nothing to support me.

            “Kate – you know rejections make us weaker.  An Alpha will feel that stronger than others.  I am sorry but I need the confidence to know you can handle this responsibility. The pack is my responsibility today and I would be irresponsible in not taking that into consideration.  Six months will fly by and then we can revisit where things stand at that time,” my father concluded.

            I stood up looking between both my parents as I felt tears prick the back of my eyes.  “I admit father, I am disappointed with everything that happened today but what disappoints me most is your lack of faith in your ability to have prepared me for whatever came my way as an Alpha.”  As my father started to say something I put my hand up preventing any further conversation and went to my room.

            And so here I had sat for two-weeks.  Maybe it was childish, maybe it was necessary, but I felt betrayed by two people who should never have betrayed me – my mate and my father.  The first few days had been a blur.  I had been in pain, but I could not tell what hurt more.  I did not get up aside from using the bathroom the first few days.  

            As the pain subsided, I was so angry.  Angry at anyone and everyone.  I had spent a lifetime doing the right things and being the right person, never disappointing and always being reliable Kate.  I had missed a lot of what most would consider a childhood because I had my eye on a very special prize.  A prize that was my birthright.

            Yes, six months was not long but it made me feel like I was weak and that I would look weak to the packs in our alliances.  Everyone knew I was to take over shortly after my 18^th birthday and now there was a rejection to consider along with a delay in taking my spot as the Alpha to the pack.

            Well as I neared the end of week two, I had decided it was time for me to enter the land of the living.  I got up early, had a shower, put my training clothes on and tried to decide what I wanted to do first.  I still could not speak with my parents – I felt the pain of their doubt deeply and I would not hide my feelings any longer for the comfort of everyone else.  I would be civil, of course, but I could not be my old self. 

            I was not the girl I was two weeks ago before the birthday party.