Chapter 3 - Creed

My knuckles are bloody, but I continue to hit the punching bag in front of me. The sting of the wolfsbane-laced fabric always serves to make me hit harder; I need to be stronger than the pain. I need to get used to it so it can no longer hurt me. 

“Creed,” I hear my cousin, Luka, calling behind me. 

He’s my closest friend right now as well as my Beta and Brigadier, but lately, I’ve been pulling away from him and everyone else around me. What I like about Luka is the fact that he doesn’t pry, but when you eventually open up then he’s a good shoulder.

“I haven’t seen you here in ages,” I say as he walks up to fist-bump me. 

He shakes his head. “I hardly ever see you lately and I’m supposed to be your second in command,” he says while trying to sound nonchalant. “So I thought I should rather come to you and see what’s up.”

I shrug. “It’s been three weeks, and the pack is still in mourning at the loss of their Luna,” I say when I see him wrapping his fists as well. “Did Viktor send you here? He’s been calling me non-stop.”

Luka walks up to me and assumes a fighting stance. “We’re worried about you-”

“I’m fine,” I interject and take a left swing at him and he dodges. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind, but I’m okay now.”

He chuckles and lunges at me, aiming a fist at my head and I block just as he brings up a knee into my mid-section, catching me off-guard and winding me. Fuck, I forgot Dimitri trained him way back.

I stagger backward and grin while losing myself in the friendly sparring with my Beta. I forgot this was where we started; Luka was the one who first taught me the basics when it came to fighting defensively. 

Come to think of it, I don’t remember the last time I actually wore a smile while fighting. 

I’m on the floor next to him and he’s sprawled on his back and grinning by the time we decide to call it quits. “Damn, I forgot how you keep me on my toes,” he says.

“That’s what you get for being old,” I say and immediately regret it. Luka hasn’t met his mate yet and stopped aging; he’s a thirty-two-year-old in a twenty-seven-year-old body. 

He sits up and slaps my shoulder. “Don’t, it’s not a sore spot for me anymore,” he says and shrugs. “My father was around my age when he realized my mother was his mate.”

“Still; I feel like an asshole,” I say, shaking my head and feeling like shit at my slip-up.

Luka’s the only one of the three between Kira and Kaia who hasn’t met their mate yet and I know how much he secretly yearns for one. I have to be more fucking sensitive in the future.

I walk towards my water bottle and empty the thing before I realize Luka’s staring at me. When I turn to face him, he has his arms crossed with an extremely awkward look on his face. A small part of me knows what it is, while the other feels pissed off.

“Out with it,” I say through a clenched jaw. “Ask me if you’re going to.”

Luka sighs when he approaches me and I feel myself bristle. “It’s just…everyone is asking about Alpha Kai. No one has seen him since the funeral pyre.”

I know I need to address the pack about this soon, but what do I tell them since I don’t even know where he is? When I eventually came to, I ran towards the mansion but he was gone already. He’s not answering his cell phone or the mind link.

It’s like he doesn’t want to be found.

“My father is in mourning and is allowed to grieve how he sees fit. But I will speak to the rest of the pack about this since they must all be worried about him,” I say and he nods his head in agreement.

“They are; we all are. Perhaps you can speak about it at the full moon pack hunt this evening? You promised us all that we’ll run together this time.”

A cold sliver of fear pierces my heart when he mentions this and I regret ever making this promise. It’s been a few years since I’ve become Alpha and my father always took my place in the hunts because I was ashamed of the color of my wolf’s coat.

All Volkovs have wolves who are pitch black; my wolf is as white as fucking snow. Not only am I an enigma but I’m a disappointment to my entire bloodline. My father knew about both my wolf and Lycan and always picked up my slack.

But I can’t do that anymore. I need to be the Alpha now and they need to see who I truly am.

I look at Luka and give him a terse nod. “I’ll be there tonight. The pack needs some normality after my mother passed away and I owe it to them as the Alpha.” Gods, I must look as confident as I sound because Luka smiles and slaps my back.

“It will be good to have you back, Creed,” he says before walking away from me without knowing just how absolutely fucking nervous I am.

The pack has never had a white wolf lead; all Volkov Alphas had wolves as black as obsidian. So why did the Wolf God decide I should be different? 

My eyes widen when I realize what I had just said…my father is the Wolf God; he has dominion over all our spirits and would have known I received Nocte before I even met him. The Wolf God blesses us with the wolf spirit which is more compatible with our strengths.

So why did he give me Nocte? Why did he bless me with a white wolf?

I don’t know why I didn’t think about this before and speak to him about it. Surely he must have known the dilemma I faced seeing as I’m already so insecure about being-

“It’s Alpha Kai’s son!”

The whisper sets my teeth on edge as I unwind the wraps from my wrists, annoyed at once again being called ‘Alpha Kai’s Son’. As if I’m not an Alpha myself; as if I didn’t take his place as leader of our pack. Fair enough, my father has an impressive reputation; but right now I feel like no one’s Alpha.

And tonight the pack might reject me. What will it take for me to prove my worth to everyone? Will I ever be seen as good enough to lead? I suppose tonight will be the deal breaker.

**

That knot in my stomach has now tightened to absolute terror as I walk towards the forest edge. The warriors, new and old, coupled with their families and young pups are all standing and waiting for me. 

Luka looks proud as he watches me approach and next to him are Sage and Alexei. Sage is my Gamma and Alexei is my Delta; Sage’s sister, Saffron, is sick so she's not here with us.

I can feel the excitement in the air as I approach them and when I come to a stop, my four most trusted come to stand at my back. I turn to face them and my heart clenches when I see how fucking proud they look, even Sage is wearing a smile that meets his cold blue eyes.

“Good evening everyone,” I start off and they return the greeting. “I know it has been a while since anyone has seen me, but rest assured your Alpha is back and this time I am not going anywhere.”

“Words are weaker than actions, I know,” I say when I feel a ripple of unease passes through them. “And I am no leader like my father who still casts a large shadow, but I will prove to you why I am worthy to be your Alpha. So, who wants to hunt with me?”

The unease gives way to excited chitters and I turn to face the men at my back. This is my make-or-break moment, the one thing that will set me apart from all the other Alphas before me. 

Viktor once told me that my comparison to my father stops with my looks and that I will never be Alpha Kai. While those words angered me at the time, I am now thankful that he uttered them.

Because I am not my father; I am his legacy.

I close my eyes and call Nocte forward. My entire body is on fire, every nerve ending feels like it’s being scorched and folded in on itself as my human body shifts into one of my beasts. The easiest way to get through it is to breathe through the pain because what comes next is pure bliss.

You can feel the soft grass between the pads of your paws, the silence of the forest is now alive and amplified with the sounds of its nocturnal animals. From the hooting of an owl, right down to the quiet hopping of a rabbit and flutter of a moth’s wings.

This is the best part about shifting - feeling and hearing every damn thing.

But right now I wish I didn’t feel anything, because my pack’s staring at me with wide eyes. My wolf is as large as my father’s, but that’s where the comparison ceases. Nocte’s fur is as white and pure as the driven snow, with no hint of the Volkov obsidian and his eyes gleam with a deeper crimson than your average Alpha.

I sit on my hind legs and look at my pack. They’ve gone silent and when I turn to face my family, they similarly have shocked expressions on their faces. No…this can’t be good! They won’t see me as a leader now!

I get to all fours and am about to back away when I see two white wolf cubs walking toward me. /“We look like Alpha Creed!”/ one of them yips happily over the mind link and runs in circles. /“We look like Alpha Creed!”/

The words seem to break the ice spread over everyone and I can visibly see the tension letting go in my pack. 

/“He’s not overbearing like Alpha Kai,”/

/“I feel like he’s actually one of us!”/

/“He may not be a black wolf, but he looks as strong as any Volkov Alpha.”/

/“I don’t feel insecure about my fur anymore!”/

More chatter like this passes through the mind link and I have to sit down as I catch every word they’re saying. Some older generation wolves seem a bit apprehensive about the color of my coat, but the decision seems to be unanimous.

My pack has accepted me as their Alpha, all because some pups spoke up first.

I’m shocked to shit as the realization sets in, that I don’t even realize they’re all staring at me after they’ve shifted into their various beasts. Turning my head to look at my cousins, who all have black coats, I give them a nod of my head before looking at the pack again.

All this time I was terrified of being different, and yet all it took for them to accept me was two little pups screaming about how they look like me. I have a feeling that they took it as acceptance, that they can be different in a crowd because even their Alpha is different.

My heart clenches knowing my mother must be seeing this, but then my heart breaks because my father isn’t here to see how his old pack has accepted me. I guess I’ll have to make myself proud from now on.

/“Ready to hunt?”/