Was I that bad?

Dev Khurrana

I was standing before the glass wall when someone barged in my cabin.

"Dev, don't tell me you've still not stopped your search engine for Anushka?" Jay asked frustrated.

Jay Grover..!

My best friend.

Ofcourse! He would be frustrated. This search engine for Anushka is going on since 2 years and I couldn't even find a trace of her. It was as if she vanished from this planet.

Ignoring him I just sat on my chair and opened my laptop.

"Are you here in the morning itself to lecture me about it?"

I asked irritated.

I already had a lot on my plate the last thing I needed was him irritating me in the morning itself.

"You know that you're engaged,right?" He asked and I looked at him.

"Do you see a ring on my finger?" I asked showing him my ring finger.

Yess! I was engaged after she ran away

because mom did not want me spend my whole life without a partner.

Partner..!

It bought a lot of bittersweet memories to me.

I cancelled the engagement after a few months knowing very well that she wasn't the one for me.

I really believe that everyone has their the one..!

I just have to find mine.

But before that, I have to find Anushka.

Not because I wanted her back. But because I wanted answers.

Answers to all the questions which I never got to ask her.

Ohhh! As if that is the only reason you want to find her!

"Dev. Why are you behaving like this? You've always been a mature, sensible man. Why losing your cool over a girl who ran away?" He said frustrated.

"Why losing my cool? She was my wife damn it! I am supposed to know where the hell did she runaway to and why did she do it? I just need to know her reasons, that's it!" I said banging my hand on the table agressively.

Yeah! That's it.

As if you're not going to take her in your arms the minute you see her.

But yeah!

You just need to know the reasons that's it!

"This is your ego speaking. She wrote in the message clearly that she did not want to be found by you. That she wanted her freedom. She was trapped in the marriage. Why not let her be? Just move on with your life buddy." Jay said keeping his hand on my shoulder and I sighed.

Am I doing wrong?

Our's was neither a love marriage nor an arranged one. It was just a compromised marriage. Marriage which took place because of my late grandfather's wish.

A wish which did cost me my peace!

I haven't slept for all these years knowing that she just left, like that.

Was I that bad?

Though we did not share a husband wife bond but we decided to start off as friends and we were getting to it.

Everything was just going fine and I would be lying If I say that I didn't like her.

I liked her..A lot!

I was just never too vocal about it.

Was that where I went wrong?

Stop with those thoughts!

"Dev! You have your life ahead of you. Why are you letting your past control you?" Jay asked sighing.

"Because before I move on, I just want to talk to her, know her reason. I want to see her and talk to her for one last time. I just want my closure." I said.

Which I hope, wouldn't be a closure.

"I don't think that's true. But for now, I'll just believe you." Jay said shaking his head disappointingly.

"You sure you were not in love with her?"

Karan asked teasing me as he took his seat beside Jay.

Here comes, the most immature friend of mine.

Karan Bedi..!

Always joking about serious situations.

And one day he is going to have a hard punch from me for being like that.

"I am very sure, I was not in love with her. Not yet." I said murmuring the last part to myself.

Yeah! I was definitely not in love with her.

Except that my heart would melt every time she looked at me.

I would forget everything after seeing her soft smile.

And the list just goes on....

That couldn't be love!

Right?

"From where do you come up with these absurd conclusions?" Jay asked Karan rolling his eyes at him.

"So, what is your conclusion? Why is he searching for her?" Karan asked him.

"As he said, he wants to know the reason." Jay said shrugging.

"He already knows the reason. She wrote it in the message." Karan said rolling his eyes.

"He just wants to see her again." Karan said looking at me very intently as if searching for something in my eyes.

"No! I just— I umm just want to talk things out. Yeah! Talk things out." I said stammering.

Why am I stammering?

"See..! Dev Khurrana the king of his profession who smoothly can win any case. He's won 98% of the cases he is put his hands in and why do you think is he stammering?" Karan asked looking at Jay and Jay in return looked at me.

I had no answer to his question.

I don't know anything, anymore!

When it came to her, I was just Dev, her husband, her friend and not some manipulative lawyer.

I was at her mercy!

All the fucking time!

The why did she runaway?

I just ran my hand through my hair frustratedly.

"I think we should leave. We are getting late. We have to visit the wedding planner." Karan said looking at his watch.

"I've arranged a meeting with her in a nearby restaurant. She'll be here in half an hour." I said to Karan while he grinned.

Him & my sister are totally lovesick puppies.

Yeah! They are getting Married.

"And we'll talk about anu's matter after that. I've got some information about her." Karan said with a serious face.

"Information? What information? Did you find her?" I asked impatiently.

"No we did not. But we've got some lead." He said and I just nodded.

We were currently seated in the restaurant where the wedding planner was supposed to come.

Well, now you would think why were we tagging along?

Karan is an orphan. The only family he has is me, Jay & now my sister ofcourse.

So, he wanted us to participate in the wedding plannings.

"Dev you have to admit, you've turned boring since Anu left." Karan said laughing.

"I was never an entertaining person to start with." I said shrugging.

"Stop calling her Anu." I said scowling.

"But he is actually right. You're always deep in your thoughts, never conversing much and- Jay started but Karan yelled

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?" Me & Jay both looked at him to see what made him yell this loud. But his eyes were trained behind us.

"Karan, why would you yell like that?"

Jay asked annoyed and trailed his eyes to see what was it, even his eyes were wide as saucers.

"Dude! There's going to be a lot of drama here today." Jay said while his eyes were still wide.

As I was sitting on the opposite side, I had no idea what was going on.

Then, I heard someone saying,

"Good Afternoon, Mr. Bedi." All three of us got up and then I turned around.

The moment I turned around I was face to face with the one person who had occupied all of my thoughts in these two years.

The person who made me almost lose my sanity!

The person who had a hell lot questions to answer.

She just stood there smiling with another girl looking at something on her Ipad.

I could care less for the conversation going on between Karan, Jay & the wedding planner.

Because I could only focus on her.

Finally!

I got to see her.

When she looked up from her Ipad her eyes met mine and at that moment,

I felt like

I have my world before my eyes..!