Chapter 5: Bittersweet

Later that evening, I sat stretched out on the sofa with my legs up on the armrest staring at the ceiling. Tobias was on the opposite side of the room in his armchair reading a book whilst Rose sat with a head rested on his shoulder as she tried to pick the dried flour from under her nails.

We'd spent all afternoon and evening delivering rations of grain to villages and families only to come home and make the first fresh bread we'd had in weeks which, whilst in actual fact was probably just fairly ordinary bread, tasted like heaven. The smell still lingered in the air in all its yeasty glory which made a welcome change from the stale smell of wilting cabbages and bread baked months ago that we had become accustomed to.

But as I enjoyed the feeling of a full stomach at last, my mind couldn’t help but dwell on the new doom we could now face.

Alpha Rivers gave us grain so we could save ourselves from starvation but he was still as untrustworthy and shady as he'd ever been and as I lay there staring at the ceiling, I kept having to resist the urge to snap at Tobias about it for the eighth time that evening.

The decision to leap into an alliance with a man who was our sworn enemy only two days before was two against one. I was overpowered by democracy but I was still furious that he and Rose didn't refuse Alpha Rivers' request for an immediate answer in order to take our time to properly consider our decision.

And we didn't even try to demand the answers to our questions and allowed him to just get away with vaguely alluding to the enemy that created his want for an alliance before we agreed to it and whatever unknown consequences that came alongside. Rose said nothing could be worse than the famine we'd continue to face if we declined his offer but why the secrets and mystery if there was no reason for us to refuse?

Eventually, after my mind had circled back to the first of my long list of possible risks, I couldn’t hold my tongue anymore.

"I still can't believe you just agreed," I said.

He sighed, "Esme, for the sake of the Goddesses. Let it go," he said.

"Let it go?!" I exclaimed, "You just got us into a war, Tobias!"

"And I also just got us out of one," he replied, "The end of the conflict with the Pheonix pack will come as a relief to this entire pack."

After that, I was quiet for a bit. Just sitting still, my mind still swarmed with concern.

"I still don't trust him," I said a few minutes of brooding later.

"No shit," Rose mumbled.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked snapping my eyes to her.

"You're unusually averse to letting him help us," she said. "The deal seemed like a reasonable one to us."

"How can you say that?" I questioned, "We don't even know what we have agreed to?! And what reason does he give us to not be averse? He has done terrible things to our people and he's so condescending, arrogant, disturbing, twisted... and who does he think he's fooling with that 'smile'?! I see right through it and it makes me sick..."

"Hmmm," Tobias said, "He clearly doesn't feel the same about you..."

Rose sniggered and I looked at them both, “Okay, what the hell am I missing?" I asked.

Tobias rolled his eyes, "He's clearly got a thing for you, Es. Do you not see the way he looks at you?"

"Yes, I do. He looks at me like he's trying to wind me up and thoroughly enjoying every moment of it," I replied.

"He's teasing you," Rose sang, her face wide in a smile.

"He's being a piece of shit," I corrected sharply.

"No one is denying that," Tobias said with a laugh, "...but for the sake of this peace treaty not ending before it's even begun, please just entertain it."

I looked at him in disbelief.

"I will not be a source of entertainment for such an evil man," I hissed, folding my arms across my chest.

He rolled his eyes, "Whatever," he said, "But just remember who he is and try not to get on the wrong side of him. He's dangerous."

Although in my eyes it still didn't justify 'teaming up' with him, Tobias had a point. As much as I hated to admit it, Alpha Rivers was not a force to be reckoned. His army was large and his soldiers were excellently trained to utterly devote their lives to his causes. He had the power to leave the Nightingale pack in ruins if he wanted so maybe being on the 'right side of him' was an effective way to avoid that particular nasty fate.

But was he so terrible that we should have blindly accepted the first offer he proposed for peace without even trying to reckon with him?

It felt like the Nightingale pack were submitting to the Pheonix pack more than we were creating a unifying alliance.

And there wasn't much that I hated more than submitting.

I looked back up at the ceiling and sighed, "I still can't believe you just agreed-"

"Esme!" they both shouted, "Shut up!"

I scowled and shut my mouth again.

Maybe I was overthinking it.

Or maybe because I was the primary victim of Alphas’ tormenting, my perception of him was skewed.

After all, Tobias and Rose were years older than me and had been in charge of this pack for far longer. They were excellent leaders and I could only dream of having half the strength they had. So maybe I should just trust their judgement as superior to my own, especially given as no amount of arguing was going to change the situation now.