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16: Benny.

My mission is to find my son.

Before I make things official with Terrence, I need him to understand that I was blindsided by my love for her. I don’t want to miss out on my chance to be back in his life. A better father than before. But I simply can’t breathe without her, either. Trying to go on with my life alone now that I’ve found her would be a farce. I’d be fucking miserable and I have to hope he doesn’t hate me enough to wish me that dark of a fate.

Even now, as I walk through the lobby, I’m growing more anxious to get back to her. Every breath I take echoes in my ears. The back of my neck gathers tight. It has been too long since the last time I held Terrence, saw her smile, licked her skin. It’s like being under a spell and having no desire to be cured. On a scale from one to ten, my obsession has become a twenty. My heart is racing for the first time in years. For the first time because of a woman. Ever.

Tonight, I am going to ask her to be my wife.

Is that crazy and impulsiv
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