Chapter 4: The dying god

"Power is passed down through kinship," his father said, wearing the same dark cloak as Ivar.

They were in the middle of the forest circled by the wall of trees the same as his father did on their camp, with just enough space for the ritual.

 "As my son, it means that the ability to command nature using breath is already in your blood. However, it has to be awakened by a ritual that should be done at the right age, or as long as the person is prepared....Are you?"

Ivar gulped. He stood next to a pentagram carved out on the clearing along with the candles and burning incense.

Glancing at the bright full moon above him, Ivar took a step forward.

"Yes, I am ready."

Rowan started to chant eerily, with his voice so loud it could be heard far back in the camp. Ivar didn't recognize the words his father was uttering. Perhaps it was the language of gods.

Wind spirit were there too, frozen in the air around them as if dead. They glow in uncanny scarlet red that occasionally blink making his eyes hurt.

He tried to calm his mind, ignoring the beating pulse on his head and the heavy pounding on his chest. He was scared, his body nearly convinced him to run away even though he didn't know exactly the reason why. The way his brother avoid describing it is enough for him to be worried. Maybe it was indescribable. Or maybe—

"Ivar," his father said.

"Don't be afraid. Everything will be alright."

Ivar heard those words before. It didn't always ended up alright. But he trust his father, and he has no choice. It has to happen, so he urge himself to stay for more hours.

Be curious, he said to himself. Aren't you wondering where and how you get your powers? Aren't you wondering how it feels to move the trees, the ground, the air, and catch deers like your father did?

He stood that way for several hours, listening to his father's chant until the first sign of dawn. He was embracing himself in cold, with both legs shivering from weariness.

Every moment he had to fight the urge to sleep. He fell several times dozing off but he stood again each time. The last time he took a nap he was awakened by an earthquake, and the roaring pool of fire before him. 

I'm dreaming, he thought.

His father looked at him, and nodded.

"Die, and be saved by God. Accept death, and receive His blessing."

Ivar didn't understand at first. His mind was boggy from dozing off. Then he realized his father was serious.

Suddenly Ivar's feet were so heavy, and his body frozen in fear. This was not a dream.

Is this what you saw, Harald?

The wind spirits were now gone. Even the heat of the lava didn't help to warm himself against the cold dread that he felt. He was about to be sacrificed. 

Death, he thought. I'm going to experience death.

No wonder why his brother seems to be worried last night. He didn't think I could make it. I'll show him. He acted brave, but every hair in his body stood in fear.

He glanced at his father again with a pleading eyes.

"It's impossible to refuse now, son. Baptize yourself and be one with Croven."

Ivar forced his feet to move despite his resisting body. 

What would happen next? he asked himself. Of course he'll come back alive. His brother did, and so was his father and the rest of Alchemists. 

He took a deep breath, gathering all his strength, then he closed his eyes and sprinted. If this is a prank, he wouldn't forgive them.

Ivar plunged to his death.

                * * *

Pain seared throughout his body. He could feel the heat gnawing his bone as he screamed, aimlessly clawing his way out. Ivar seemingly out of his mind, muttering in gibberish words, crying, yelling, like a child. His flesh was all torn and melted, with his head scorched. Soon, his body was gone leaving only the soul burning in the pool. 

Ivar's mind was restored, being only consciousness itself. The flame hurt him no more, but instead, he felt a blissfully warm feeling all around him. Suddenly he felt a powerful, and indestructible force of nature. He saw the beginning of the universe, memories of the events that weren't his, but from God.

As his consciousness expanded even more, a new body was slowly forming below him.

"I'm dying."

A voice whispered. The place shifted into a dark room with bookshelves everywhere. At the corner, he found the man on a wooden chair, talking to himself.

"I am tired, I'm afraid I have nothing to give after this one. Alas, you will be the last man to ever see my presence, for starting now, the ritual works no more. 

Come, Ivar."

Ivar stepped closer.

 "I will give you the power you want, but let me have your soul."

The man chuckled and turned his head towards Ivar.

"I was asked the same offer roughly a thousand years before you were born. And guess what? I said yes. And now I am imprisoned in this godly state. My soul no longer belongs to me, but to the creatures residing on this planet. I have carried the burden of responsibility, taking care of every matter so that humanity will thrive and will thrive for more eons. I have lost the opportunity to live and raise my children as a mortal."

"Who, who are you?"

"You are staring at the deity you worship before meal. I am Croven. You can call me God. You can call me Harmony. Others just call me, Lord-have-mercy-for-my-life!"

The man laughed hysterically, then coughed hard.

"Oh, I remember that man, Azrem. I'd come to him that afternoon after he's done feeding the chickens, offering him some kind of business scam that he'll regret for a thousand years.

And I leaned on the tree, looking him in the eyes, saying, 'Do we have a deal?'

He's wise enough to refuse. And now I'm making the same deal to you.

"Wait, you mean, Lord Azrem, the immortal emperor?"

"Yes, he realized the mistake of not accepting my gift. S

But it's too late I've already started my plan. So he turned to another god."

"Another god?"

"My child, I am the personification of Harmony. Who do you think is the manager of Chaos who conspire against every thing I created?"

Ivar was stunned by what he just heard. Another god. Chaos.

"For now, forget about what I'd told you. It's not that important, but it'll be soon.

Azrem refused my offer and had regretted it. It's your turn, young Ivar, to answer a question different from what I've asked your father, and the rest of your ancestors. I've been trying to force my power into you before, but it has only brought nothing but danger to your family."

"So it was you," Ivar said.

"You allowed me to move the vines and exposed my family to the Seekers."

"Yes, a failed attempt, and an unwise move from a god. I should have waited," Croven sighed.

"But nonetheless you are now here to claim it yourself. I am dying. Every second I cling to this existence had only led me into deeper misery. I have spread my divinity over my creations. To you, to the alchemists, and the rest of the living creatures, so that you can govern the world on your own, and become gods yourselves.

"Why are you doing this, knowing there's a god of Chaos conspiring for our destruction?"

"It is the only way, I'm afraid. Of the hundreds of thousands of gods before me, no one has ever dared to wonder how would humans act with power. What if they become gods themselves. No god before me ever recognize your potential. Being a human is not an excuse for weakness. I've seen you build things, govern a country, strategize battle plans with an aim to outsmart other generals during war. Children make kites fly, or boat sail on a river. It's hard to have fun when you rule over the world. The god's don't play. The gods don't weep. You humans feel pain, something that I had already forgot. I believe one day, you will learn to understand one another and accelerate the process of man's evolution. 

"Of course, it has led to many catastrophic events in the past—wars, famine, and atrocities— but I believe it is the only way humans learn to unite against a greater force. I can't die knowing there's a lot of work to be done. 

Are you willing to receive power?

I will give you the rest of me.

You will take the responsibility that you will have to carry for the rest of your life. Love it, it will be a gift for a lifetime. Hate it, it will be a curse for eternity. 

What will you do, Ivar? 

Will you sell your soul so I could finally have my slumber?

Will you take the sliver of infinity, my remaining strength?"

God stared at him intensely, waiting for him to reply.

Sacrifices.

Ivar remembered his brother's words. You'll be doing the children a favor by giving them a better life in the future.

"Ye, yes—"

"DON'T HESITATE! You will have something you will be grateful for or despise your whole life. Don't make the same mistake like what I've done. 

If you accept the offer, accept it without doubt. STAY TRUE TO YOUR WORDS, DON'T LET YOUR HEART CLOUD YOUR JUDGEMENT. DON'T LET YOUR MIND RUIN YOUR INTENTIONS. 

Find balance in between. Harmony. Take your time. And when you're done, I want you to yell your answer."

Ivar wished he could see the future. If he refuses, he won't have the same power he can use to protect his family. And if he agrees to the terms, he might suffer the rest of his life.

And what would that suffering do? I can't just put myself into misery without giving other people the life they deserve. 

Sacrifices.

Ivar stood straight, and yelled.