Chapter One

Present Day

I hunched in on myself as salty tears leaked down my face in rivulets, the moisture trickling across my cracked lips as gravity took over.

It felt like I should’ve been all cried out by this point, having watched my mother, and now my father, wither away before my eyes. I knew I had been neglecting myself in the interim, but it was hard to think about anything with death surrounding me at every turn.

I wrapped my arms around my legs where I sat in the hardbacked chair at my dad’s bedside, opting to rest my head on my knees while his eyes were shut, and I tried to envision what my future would look like with me by my lonesome.

My mom had been the first to go, the nausea and hair loss she’d experienced signaling that her health was rapidly declining, but she’d slipped into a coma without us knowing the reason for it. Hell, the cause was unknown to this day.

Nothing we tried could bring her back, and it seemed as if the light had left my dad’s eyes ever since the day that she died.

Parallel to my mother’s condition, others in the fallout shelter began having similar symptoms around the same time.

There wasn’t a doctor amongst us, so we had no clue what was causing the sickness, but it’d ravaged through our already small numbers until only a handful of the original survivors were left.

Now, aside from me, my dad was the last one standing, and I had the sneaking suspicion that he knew what had affected the others if I read the remorse that I sensed emanating from him at times correctly.  

I was the only one who hadn’t suffered any ailments, and I felt guilty as hell about it, even though I had no control over what was happening. Whatever secret my dad was guarding, he clearly intended to take it with him to the grave.

A stabbing pain radiated out from my lower back as I pondered what I knew was coming, sitting in the same spot I’d been in as of late.  

My father hadn’t eaten anything for days, hell, possibly even for a week for all I knew. I’d tried forcing him, but he outright refused every time, claiming I would need any provisions I could scrounge up for when I left the bunker.

That was saying nothing of the reality that he couldn’t stomach anything for long, but neither one of us chose to confront the issue head on for what it was.

“Bella.”

Astonished at my dad’s feeble voice sounding out, my feet hit the concrete below me as I automatically wiped the fresh tracks of tears from my face.

“Dad!” I whimpered, shuffling closer to his side so I could take his frail hand in mine.

A sob caught in my throat as I observed the shell of the man that my father used to be, the weight loss more evident as his illness progressed.

He’d been unconscious for so long by this point that I’d been worried that he might have slipped into the ether like my mother and all the others who’d graced these barren hallways had before him, but he spoke up once more, proving that he was still fighting to remain by my side.

“Zoebella, you have to be strong.” He croaked out, not going on until I locked my eyes with his surprisingly fierce expression, “I can’t protect you anymore, and you can’t stay he—”

His sentence was cut off by the coughs shaking through his wilting frame, but the urgency that he’d inflected in his tone was like a bucket of ice water being thrown over my head, just the same.

Leave? I couldn’t leave our refuge, my parents, my home.

My mind rebelled at the mere thought of exiting the fallout shelter as my dad’s breath wheezed out in between bouts of his hacking, but I also hated focusing on my protector in this state when there was nothing I could do to help.

Choosing the lesser of two evils, I strained my head as I considered my next move forward. I barely remembered what the outside world was like after all this time, and I was aware it may be completely changed in the aftermath of what had happened.

My parents had always encouraged me to use my mind as I grew, teaching me as much as they were able during the long days over the years, and the numerous books that were available here in the bunker for my perusal filled in the gaps where they could.

Thankfully, some anonymous male had donated his secret stash of romance novels, or I would have been seriously bored with all the non-fiction material I had to read. Still, I did pick up some useful tidbits here and there.

In any case, I knew I had a lot to learn, and it was overwhelming to say the least, but, clearly, I had some idea of what leaving the bunker would mean for me.

It was enough to send my head spiraling while I did my best to cope with my last ally’s impending death and the many bumps I could already foresee on my path, making the distant reward seem almost intangible.

While the bunker had been equipped to withstand a nuclear explosion, we found out later that the shelter hadn’t been fully stocked to sustain the number of people who happened to be here when the bombs went off.

Apparently, it had served more as a base of operations for something in the military, but all of that had been shut down ages ago when they gave up hope on contacting the outside world.

Turns out, all our worries about shortages were mostly unfounded, but I was left with a sour taste in my mouth as I swiftly redirected my mind from the dark direction it’d been heading down.

No one my age had popped up out of the woodwork throughout the years, telling me that I was extremely lucky for my dad’s foresight in getting our family to safety, but it also meant that I would ultimately find myself alone at eighteen in a post-apocalyptic environment.

It didn’t exactly paint a promising picture of any shred of happiness I could expect to find, providing I managed to make it somewhere safe out there without dying first, that was.

I wasn’t sure how my dad had known what was coming or where to take us before all hell had broken loose in the outside world, but the soldiers who were stationed here prior to the bombs had made it obvious that we were interlopers from the beginning.

My eyes ached as briny liquid flowed free and my dad fought to get out his final entreaty, his weak voice bringing my focus back to the present as he gave what I knew would likely be his last words of substance to me.

“Bella, maybe I’ve sheltered you too much, but I know you’re tough as hell anyway. Your mom and I will be with you wherever you go, but it’s time to return to the open-air.”

I didn’t know how to respond to him, so I simply listened as his voice broke, and he told me all he could about the world I was likely to emerge into once I left the safety of the shelter. If I trusted anyone’s word, it was my dad’s.

I was confident his intel would be my best chance at remaining alive, and I’d made damn sure to etch every detail he’d shared over the years into my memory to boot. Regrettably, it was clear how much energy this conversation had cost my father as he deteriorated before my eyes.

He’d given me a chance to survive, and I wasn’t going to squander it, regardless of how petrified I was on the inside.

I’d spent the last ten years doing nothing but exercising in the limited space available to me and reading the same few books over and over with my abundant free time. Well that and doing my best to remain invisible for fear of attracting unwanted attention.

As I got older, I understood why my dad had kept me away from the other men, even to the point of isolating me at times.

I shuddered as I remembered the time when one male had gotten too handsy when I was sixteen, the unpleasant thought resurfacing while my shield was lowered with the grief consuming me.

My dad had shown up in the nick of time and insisted on teaching me some basic self-defense afterward, but I’d stayed away from everyone save my family since that harrowing day.

I hugged my father’s brittle body tight as I refocused on my current situation, trying to hold him here with me a little longer, even knowing that it was useless and probably cruel of me to do so.

I felt the weight of my dad’s arms around me initially, but then they gradually fell away, the sound of his rattled breaths ceasing out of nowhere.

Anguish spread through me as I comprehended that I was truly alone at last, and I stepped back, gently shutting my dad’s eyes before the pain won out.

Following, I sprinted from the room, running towards the same minuscule space that I’d called mine since the day we’d arrived here. My steps echoed in the empty corridor as I retreated, but the loud clang of the metal door slamming shut behind me was the last straw.

I fell to pieces, not conscious of the amount of time passing, but I somehow made it to my bed before my vision blurred too much. Eventually, the fatigue grew until I couldn’t bear the mounting pressure, and I welcomed oblivion with open arms.

Yet, far too soon, I was peeling back my sleep-encrusted eyes to the same bleak outlook that had lulled me into the void to begin with.

Not giving myself a chance to dawdle, I devoted my concentration to completing the necessary tasks before I could leave my past behind me, my father’s last command at the forefront of my brain.

It was enough to keep me moving when I felt dead on the inside, and it gave me a sense of purpose when I had no desire to go on living.

Before I knew it, I was emerging into the outside world through the exact cave that had served as the entrance to the hidden haven, but the vision in front of me was less than promising as I took in the blackened sky that filled the forest with menacing shadows.