CHAPTER 4

THE START

Tumingin ako sa kanya nang mas maayos, at doon ko siya unang nakita nang lubusan. May kakaiba sa mga mata niya—parang may malalim na kuwento sa likod ng kanyang titig. Hindi siya mukhang isang taong madalas kong makasalamuha. Parang galing siya sa ibang mundo, isang mundong hindi ko pa nakikita.

Saglit akong natigilan. Parang hinihila ako ng dalawang magkaibang mundo—ang ligtas at pamilyar na mundo ng responsibilidad at mga utos, at ang mundong ito, punô ng kalayaan at saya, kahit sandali lang. Huminga ako nang malalim, pinakawalan ang pagdududa na matagal nang nakakapit sa akin. Akin ang gabing ito. Karapatan kong maramdaman ang kalayaan, kahit ngayong gabi lang.

“Sige,” sagot ko, ngiting dahan-dahang lumalabas sa mga labi ko habang unti-unting gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko.

Umupo siya sa harap ko, at si Claire naman ay binigyan ako ng makahulugang kindat bago siya muling tumikim ng inumin. Ramdam ko ang kakaibang excitement sa paligid, parang may nakatakdang mangyari, isang bagong simula. Nag-usap kami nang madali, at sa unang pagkakataon ngayong gabi, pakiramdam ko’y tunay akong komportable. Tumutugtog pa rin ang musika, malakas at masigla, nararamdaman ko ang pintig nito sa sahig. Hindi ko namalayan, pero tumatawa na pala ako nang totoo, ang tunog ng halakhak ko’y sumasabay sa kanya, at para bang nawala ang mundo sa labas ng bar. Ang mahalaga lang ay ang sandaling ito.

“So, what’s bring you here?” tanong niya, ang boses niya’y parang musika rin—malambing at nakakakampante.

Sandali akong nagdalawang-isip, hindi sigurado kung paano sasagutin. Dapat ko bang sabihin ang totoo? Na tumatakas ako mula sa buhay na ayaw ko? Na ang gabing ito ang bihirang pagkakataon kong makawala sa mga tanikala ng obligasyon?

“Kailangan ko lang ng pahinga,” sagot ko, ngiting may halong hiya. “Sa… lahat ng bagay.”

He seems to understand, nodding thoughtfully. “I get that. Life can be a bit much sometimes.” His eyes meet mine with an intensity that makes my heart flutter.

I take a sip of my drink, the cool burn of vodka warming me from the inside out. His presence is magnetic, drawing me in with every word, every smile. I feel a rush of warmth, of courage, that I haven’t felt in what feels like forever. I’m not the quiet girl hiding behind her responsibilities. I’m not the maid. Tonight, I’m Amalia, free from everything.

After a few more drinks, laughter flowing freely between us, the energy between us shifts. It’s subtle at first—a quiet pause in the conversation, a lingering look.

“You want to dance?” he asks, leaning slightly forward.

I blink in surprise, and for a split second, I almost want to say no. But something in me, something I haven’t felt in years, pushes me to do it. I want to let go. I want to be that girl who can dance without caring who’s watching.

“Yeah, I’d love to,” I answer, surprising myself with how easily the words come.

We stand and move toward the dance floor. The music is louder here, the beat thumping in my chest. The crowd sways, pulses, like one living, breathing entity. We blend in with the others, and I can feel the heat of his body close to mine as we move together. My body remembers how to dance, how to feel the music, and for a moment, I let everything go—my thoughts, my worries, my past.

He guides me through the movements, his hand resting on my lower back as we move in sync, as though we’ve known each other longer than we actually have. I’m acutely aware of him, of how easy he makes everything feel, how the tension in my body starts to melt away. We laugh, our bodies coming closer with each beat, the space between us disappearing.

The music pulses around us, and with each beat, the connection between us deepens. The man’s eyes don’t leave mine, and there’s a warmth in his gaze that makes my pulse quicken. It’s as if everything around us fades into the background, leaving only the two of us.

We laugh, the conversation flowing more easily as we share little details about our lives. His smile is disarming, his voice steady and inviting. It’s not the kind of connection I’m used to—there’s no judgment, no expectations. Just an easy understanding between two people who are, for this one night, free to be themselves.

Eventually, the music slows, and our dance becomes less about rhythm and more about the feeling between us. The moment feels suspended in time, fragile and intense. We share a comfortable silence, the weight of it heavy with unspoken words. I’m aware of the distance between us, but I don’t want to rush anything. Not tonight. His hand gently cups my face, and I find myself leaning into the touch, my breath hitching as his thumb brushes my lips.

“You’re beautiful,” he murmurs, his voice low and sincere.

The words stir something inside me—something I’ve long buried. No one’s ever looked at me like that. I’m not just a servant, not just someone’s responsibility. I’m here. I’m wanted.

Before I can respond, he leans in, closing the distance between us. His lips meet mine, soft and slow at first, testing the waters. But then something shifts, a spark that ignites into something more urgent, more real. I kiss him back, my arms wrapping around his neck as we lose ourselves in the kiss, the world around us fading to nothing.

Patuloy ang tugtog ng musika, pero pakiramdam ko’y nasa sarili kaming mundo. Ramdam ko ang kamay niya, dahan-dahang bumaba sa likod ko, hinihila akong mas malapit. Napapikit ako, nalulusaw sa init ng yakap niya. Ang tibok ng puso ko’y mabilis, parang ngayon ko lang ulit naramdaman na buhay ako—tunay na buhay. Wala nang mansion, wala nang mga patakaran, wala si Miranda.