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After Everything 51
6 MONTHS LATER a/n | mature content 18+ “Are you ready, nervous, excited?” She asks me as her eyes gleam sealing how proud she is. Em would be referring to my graduation tomorrow. 4 years of college finished. I’m ready for the real world although not much is changing. Except for a few things. It’s also Cole and Austen’s graduation, I can’t believe we all made it through mostly unscathed. We are moving out of the house we shared with the boys. The end of an era, the 5 of us. Not that we won’t see them, because we will. I mean my girlfriend still goes here and we are still brothers. Austen and I have a plan. Something we hope to convince both girls to do as they are best friends too, so I’m not sure we will need to do much convincing. It’s been around 10 months since Em and I finally stopped ignoring our chemistry and desire and looked up to find something we didn’t know we needed but now we can’t live without. We’ve seen many stars, watched grey’
After Everything 52
“Are we actually doing this?” I ask as we lay in bed. I’m tucked against King’s chest as his arm wraps around my shoulder. “Well yeah, you said yes and so did Josie.” He whispers against my forehead. “I can’t believe it.” “You better. Since packing starts tomorrow.” I knew one day I would move out of this apartment but what if it’s too soon. It’s a comfort thing, my sanctuary and escape but I will live in the same room as my boyfriend who I love but with my anxiety sometimes I need to be alone. I would be giving that up but think of all the positives and there are many. He basically lives with me anyway, he has a drawer, we bought a bigger desk so we could both sit at it, his toothbrush has a place on my counter, his body wash lives in my shower. “It’s too early isn’t it?” Kingston questions pulling me from my thoughts. “What?” “Em we’ve been together for nearly a year, I can see the thoughts not good ones ticking away in your mind.” “I’ll just miss h
After Everything 53
I find another fucking sweat set. How many does my girl have? We’ve been unpacking all the boxes in our room. There was only around 13. I picked Em up this morning with coffee in hand which she greeted with a smile and kiss. We transported all her boxes down into the apartment where mine had been for awhile now. This apartment is a happy medium between Em’s comfort zone and being outside of what she’s used to. This is a big step for any couple but with Em’s anxiety and what she’s used to it’s a bit harder. We have no doubts and I know that but it could get hard but we’re ready for anything. I’m with her through it all. Because it is a privilege to love Emerson, really. I lucked out, honestly. When I caught the brunette fiery girl outside the rink I was hit with overwhelming desire, lust and adoration and the sensation to want to know everything about this girl. And know I have and I live it everyday experiencing her love my heart beats two times faster just at the thought.
After Everything 54
18+ | mature content One more year left and I’m done. Goodbye Boston U. You’ve been great. There’s been ups and downs. Wins and losses. Chasing and discovering. Meeting new people. Falling in love. Finding the one. We’ve spent the last few months living it up enjoying each other’s company finally living together with Austen and Josie. Spending time summer loving and exploring. We went away with my siblings to Cape Cod. Our an Airbnb was perfect and after they left. Cole stayed and the rest of our group joined us. It was really nice, very different to the year before. When we all went away but we were unfamiliar with each other. In the past year so much has changed. New relationships have blossomed. Friendships grew tighter. And an unbelievable bond between the 10 of us formed. It’s our Boston U family. Our times were filled with lots of laughter and smiles. Sharing stories and funny memories. The boys getting owned in Uno time and time again but then they teamed up in Monop
After Everything 55
“Push back. Austen, you know how she is. She tries so hard. The brave face masks how scared she is. It’s her dream and she’s close to losing it. With every phone call, complication and road bump, she’s losing her dream and herself. It’s the only thing she’s ever wanted and with you she sees it even more now. Telling you makes it real and relays just how scary and daunting it is and if she can’t it will break her heart and she doesn’t want you to go through that. She wants you to be happy even at the sacrifice of her own happiness. Her pushing you away is her saying she loves you.” “Look at me.” He does. “She loves you and needs you. Push back. She’s so scared, Austen.” “She masks it so well. I wouldn’t even have found out what happened if I didn’t stumble across the phone call. I want her to tell me. It hurts more not knowing.” “I know. Just be there for her. I know you’re trying but just keep doing it. She does need it. She’s so brave but she needs someone to hold he
After Everything 56
The routine we’ve settled into is comforting and nice. It’s amazing coming home to your girl. Cooking or studying or cleaning or one of my personal favourites reading in only a lace red lingerie set on the bed you share together. We both got lucky that night and I guess in the morning too since I get to wake up next to her beautiful face. It’s been a few weeks since the semester started and it’s weird not going to class and playing ice hockey and the games and practices. For awhile that was my life class and games. Now it’s my internship and my girl. The internship is amazing and perfect. It’s at the hospital Em works at from time to time. It’s basically just on the mental health ward shadowing nurses and the psychologists and learning invaluable lessons and experiences. There’s still a bit of studying to go in the whole process to becoming a psychologist. Like completing a Master’s and PhD. I took Em’s senior year off from studying to find my footing and gain some experien
After Everything 57
“Emerson fucking Fitzgerald get your butt back in here right now.” My boyfriend yells from his spot in bed as I head to the bathroom. We were cuddling and he was asleep or so I thought and I slipped out after I kissed his cheek. Clearly he was awake. I don’t respond to him, he can just wait. I need to answer this phone call. “Emerson seriously.” I shut the door and turning the lock for good measure. I know he is now standing outside the door. “Em what the fuck? Open up.” Shit. I missed the call. “Kingston please, just leave me for like 5 minutes.” I shout out. “No not until you tell me what’s wrong? Are you ok? Don’t do anything stupid.” He responds. “Please.” “Em seriously. Non answers are worse than lies sometimes.” “Well give me 5.” He slumps against the door. “Em just don’t do anything ok?” I know what he’s referring to. “I’m ok Kingston. I love you.” “I love you more baby so please don’t.” The phone rings again and I’m quick to a
After Everything 58
It’s the second period. Cole is in the lead and every once in a while he glances up at the other 3 to the Fitzgerald Four. Damien. Tate. And me. Honestly without each other, we wouldn’t have made it through. Tate is on Damien’s lap like always. She’s tiny at 10 years old. But still freaking adorable nonetheless. Damien is yelling like there is no tomorrow. This is bittersweet for him. Because 6 years ago that should have been him. But because of the plane crash it isn’t. He had to give it up. I know he is proud of his younger brother, but shit at some point it has to hurt watching him carry out your dream. “Are you alright Dam?” I ask finally after holding it in. “Yeah yeah I’m fine. Just so happy to see him to it. You know.” “Yeah I do. But it’s ok to get upset even angry over it, this was your dream as well.” “Em honestly.” He stares at me deeply with intent. “What happened was one of the best things that ever did occur. Am I mad I didn’t get to play at lea
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