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After Everything 55
“Push back. Austen, you know how she is. She tries so hard. The brave face masks how scared she is. It’s her dream and she’s close to losing it. With every phone call, complication and road bump, she’s losing her dream and herself. It’s the only thing she’s ever wanted and with you she sees it even more now. Telling you makes it real and relays just how scary and daunting it is and if she can’t it will break her heart and she doesn’t want you to go through that. She wants you to be happy even at the sacrifice of her own happiness. Her pushing you away is her saying she loves you.” “Look at me.” He does. “She loves you and needs you. Push back. She’s so scared, Austen.” “She masks it so well. I wouldn’t even have found out what happened if I didn’t stumble across the phone call. I want her to tell me. It hurts more not knowing.” “I know. Just be there for her. I know you’re trying but just keep doing it. She does need it. She’s so brave but she needs someone to hold he
After Everything 56
The routine we’ve settled into is comforting and nice. It’s amazing coming home to your girl. Cooking or studying or cleaning or one of my personal favourites reading in only a lace red lingerie set on the bed you share together. We both got lucky that night and I guess in the morning too since I get to wake up next to her beautiful face. It’s been a few weeks since the semester started and it’s weird not going to class and playing ice hockey and the games and practices. For awhile that was my life class and games. Now it’s my internship and my girl. The internship is amazing and perfect. It’s at the hospital Em works at from time to time. It’s basically just on the mental health ward shadowing nurses and the psychologists and learning invaluable lessons and experiences. There’s still a bit of studying to go in the whole process to becoming a psychologist. Like completing a Master’s and PhD. I took Em’s senior year off from studying to find my footing and gain some experien
After Everything 57
“Emerson fucking Fitzgerald get your butt back in here right now.” My boyfriend yells from his spot in bed as I head to the bathroom. We were cuddling and he was asleep or so I thought and I slipped out after I kissed his cheek. Clearly he was awake. I don’t respond to him, he can just wait. I need to answer this phone call. “Emerson seriously.” I shut the door and turning the lock for good measure. I know he is now standing outside the door. “Em what the fuck? Open up.” Shit. I missed the call. “Kingston please, just leave me for like 5 minutes.” I shout out. “No not until you tell me what’s wrong? Are you ok? Don’t do anything stupid.” He responds. “Please.” “Em seriously. Non answers are worse than lies sometimes.” “Well give me 5.” He slumps against the door. “Em just don’t do anything ok?” I know what he’s referring to. “I’m ok Kingston. I love you.” “I love you more baby so please don’t.” The phone rings again and I’m quick to a
After Everything 58
It’s the second period. Cole is in the lead and every once in a while he glances up at the other 3 to the Fitzgerald Four. Damien. Tate. And me. Honestly without each other, we wouldn’t have made it through. Tate is on Damien’s lap like always. She’s tiny at 10 years old. But still freaking adorable nonetheless. Damien is yelling like there is no tomorrow. This is bittersweet for him. Because 6 years ago that should have been him. But because of the plane crash it isn’t. He had to give it up. I know he is proud of his younger brother, but shit at some point it has to hurt watching him carry out your dream. “Are you alright Dam?” I ask finally after holding it in. “Yeah yeah I’m fine. Just so happy to see him to it. You know.” “Yeah I do. But it’s ok to get upset even angry over it, this was your dream as well.” “Em honestly.” He stares at me deeply with intent. “What happened was one of the best things that ever did occur. Am I mad I didn’t get to play at lea
After Everything 59
Last year I fucked this night up, I do not plan on making that same mistake. This day last year I made the worst decision of my life. I nearly let my girl walk away. Well I did. But we worked it out and got through it. This time we decided as a group that we would rather just stay in and not go to any party. So we order pizza and that’s on the way. We have a lot of drinks filling our fridge. And every other snack we could need. We are all in casual clothes. No costumes needed. It’s nice. Everyone but Cole is here. He’s back traveling and playing somewhere. Living the NHL dream, I tell ya. Josie and Em are huddled together at the end of the couch with the other girls. They are all chatting and laughing. The only laugh I hear is Em’s it’s beautiful and pure and sometimes childish. They look so cute in their matching sweat-sets that Em bought them. You can tell how close the girls are, they are always there for each other no matter what they are going through. They
After Everything 60
A/N: MATURE CONTENT | 18+ [sexual assault present, please only read if you are comfortable - resources and help lines will be linked below] “Good morning beautiful.” “Good morning handsome.” I respond to my lovely boyfriend standing in the door way all ready in his dress pants and long sleeve button down for his internship. With a tie and all. It’s sexy and damn if I’m not a little turned on by my man in his work fit. “What time is it?” I think it’s early because he hasn’t left yet for his shift at the out-reach program. He took on a small role there that he was offered through his internship. I don’t have class today but that means I have work. A 10 hour shift. In the ICU. I was offered to branch out in my CNA position and I instantly accepted. “I think it’s around 5.” Right ok I have a hour before my shift. We commute together on the days I work at the hospital. “Ok, coffee still hot?” I ask simply. “Yes gorgeous it is.” He says walking over to the bed a
After Everything 61
“Damien, I can’t….. that……. I hate….. It hurts Damien, I can’t breathe…” “Emmy you’re ok, slowly in and out, there you go, you are safe now. You have a concussion, you are going to need stitches for the cut and will need some wrapping on your wrist.” “WHERE IS SHE?” I hear the familiar voice I love come down the hall. “Do you want to see him? He’ll understand if you don’t.” I just nod and squeeze his arm. “I love you Emmy, you’ll get through this. We’ll see Lily together alright. I’m not leaving you alone.” He enters to hallway leaving me with the nurse in the room. It’s protocol, I know that. Kingston enters the room and I can see his tear stricken eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry. Emerson. I should have been there. I should have. I’m so sorry.” “It’s not your fault.” “I know but I should have been there, I shouldn’t have left you there by yourself.” “How were you meant to know. I’ve done that many times. Just tonight something happened.” “It’s not your
After Everything 62
It’s been a month since Em’s incident. It scared and terrified me. Receiving that phone call from Callum. I knew I shouldn’t have left her… I’m cooking dinner for us at home, the vegetables are prepped and chicken is cooking now. Josie is studying at the breakfast bar. Austen’s not home and Em isn’t home from the library either. “Not studying with Em today?” I ask Josie. “Nah cramps got really bad today, so I just decided to stay home. That smells good.” “Thanks.” “Ugh Kingston your phone is ringing.” “Does it say who it is?” “Callum. I think.” Miles’ boyfriend why would he be ringing me. “Pass it here.” “Alright.” She leans over and grabs it. “Hi Callum.” “Umm hi I’m with Emerson now, something’s happened. She needs you. We are on our way to the hospital now.” With that all the colour drains from me. Emerson, hospital, what the fuck. “Kingston what is it?” Josie asks worried. “Emerson something happened.” “What? Where.” “I don’t know we need to
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