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CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
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Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
"I’ll meet you in the car," she says, putting down her half of the bill as she scoots out of the booth. "Okay, hon."With a to-go box in hand, I check my messages, figuring on at least one or two from Gavin. Nothing. He must be busy, I tell myself and get into the car as Kel rants to someone about how thisis her special day and she deserves the world. I bite my lip, feeling a little bad for whoever is on the other end of the line.After a detour to Glendale Florist for an order change that Kel insisted we had to do, she parks toward the front of Thomas."Your man is rich!"I giggle, taking off my seat belt eagerly. Missing him already."I wouldn’t care if he was a janitor, Kel."She turns to me, smiling."I know, sweetie. Don’t take too long, we’ve got that dinner tonight.”I grab the food and make my way into the building, amazed at how massively huge it is.I hop onto the elevator, smoothing my sundress down my backside and letting my hair out of its bun. My mind starts to wander
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
Kel hands me a steaming hot cup of cocoa and kneels beside me on her couch."What happened?"I sigh, turning to her. I try to reach inside and grasp onto my inner strength but, honestly, I’m not sure if I have anything left."I saw him. Jasmine was there. His ex."She gasps, wiping my tears away. Her eyes are filled with compassion and especially with my broken heart, I’m thankful to have such a loving sister."Why was she there?""I don’t know. She was upset, I think. Gavin was holding her and then they kissed."I take in a breath then slowly let it out, trying in vain to keep my tears at bay."Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. What happened next?"I gaze up at her, shrugging my shoulders in response."You didn’t talk to him?"I shake my head. What could he have possibly said to explain himself?"I couldn’t. I knew she wanted him back. I just never thought she’d take him from me like this." Then Kel pulls me into her arms and I let go. The tears come and my body shakes with sobs,unrelen
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
When I begrudgingly press end call on my phone, tears are welling in my eyes and they blur my vision. Pushing my car's door open, I walk across the way towards the apartment building where my Beautiful girl lives with her sister. I climb up the steps to her door and pause to pull my left hand through my hair before knocking three times. Please let her be here. Let her give me a chance to explain. And I'm immediately disappointed when Luke pulls open the door. A smug grin spreads his face.“Man you look like shit” I push his shoulder back and focus my eyes on the closed door to Sophia's bedroom in the hallway not even ten feet behind him.“Shut up, Luke. Is she here?” Hope fills my voice; I hadn't even realized I was going to end up here. But now, I’m determined to see her. To see that my girl is okay.“Asleep now, I think. But Gavin, you need to give her time. She's hurting right now.”God. I already knew this but having it said aloud caused the pit in my stomach to go deeper.“Lu
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
SophiaGavin has been admitted to the hospital, he's been in an accident. Sophia, he's in critical condition. The wordsrepeat over and over in my head and all the breath leaves my lungs as I hold the phone to my ear, claspingthe locket in my hand for some sort of comfort. Gavin is hurt. Or worse… God. If only I had been with himlast night, if only I hadn’t run away. The fear unfurls in the pit of my stomach and pushes against my ribs as I struggle for words."Sophia? Are you there sweetheart?" Lucas' familiar voice brings me back to the now."What? Yes, I’m here. What happened? Is he…"I hear his slow exhale of breath, which only spurs my fears on even more."He’s being looked at right now. Earlier, he called me and asked where your showcase was beingheld, and he said he had to see you. Sophia, sweetheart, you have to know that he loves you so much. I couldhear it in his voice; he was going crazy without you. I don't know what happened between him and his ex,but he was coming t
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE
"Oh my God, this is all my fault," I whisper, a sob erupting from my chest as I bury my face into his shoulder.Lucas rubs my back slowly and tightens his arms around me as I sob quietly into his sweater."Shh you have to stay positive, Sophie. I saw him come in and I can tell you he wasn't in pain."Was he truly not in pain? God, I hope that’s true. Even with the past day’s events I will never wish pain or hurt for Gavin. He’s the one that brought me up when I couldn’t stand myself. He saved me. God, he loved me. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him.I sniff, nodding to reassure him I’m okay and I take a deep breath as Lucas releases me and wipes my tears away."I'm okay, go. It’s OK, I’ll see you later. Thank you, Luke," I whisper, faking a smile. Kel leans forward, giving me a kiss on my forehead."I’ll be back soon, go see your man, Sophia." She smiles warmly, hoping to lift my spirits and I wait until they turn the corner before wiping my cheeks and finding the strength to wa
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FORTY
There's a knock by the door and thankfully, I've collected myself enough to call out for whomever it is to enter. Callie and an older woman with dark brown hair and gray colored eyes that shift to mine walk in. Gavin’s mother. Oh my God this is Gavin’s mother."Sophie, this is Elizabeth, my mom. Mom, this is Sophia Jones, Gavin's girlfriend."She eyes me for a moment before stepping forward and gives me a warm smile. “It’s wonderful to meet you, honey. Are you doing OK?"She sits beside me and her eyes are soft with unshed tears. She looks so much like Gavin, it takes me aback for a moment."I’m not sure. I can’t believe this happened and I just want him to wake up.."A tear escapes my eye and she grabs my hand, holding it gently in hers and deftly wipes the tear away from my cheek."He’s strong honey, and I know how much he loves you. He's going to wake up, and from what I've heard he'll have some making up to do."I gasp, he talks to his mother about me? Oh, goodness."Why do you sa
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
His roughened voice and harsh grip on my head thrashes me into reality. Oh, God, no. No, no no no! I know that voice. Bryce. It’s not possible…“Let me go!”I come back into consciousness when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Panic, fear, pain, disgust – it’s all coursing through me and making my body shake. It was just a dream. Just another stupid dream. Breathe, Sophia. Just breathe. In and out. Once I’ve calmed, my eyes drift open and I lift my head to see Dr. Lee standing by the foot of the bed. I wipe my eyes and try for a smile, not sure how long I’ve slept."I thought you'd want these, his effects that we found on him when he came in."He hands me a small plastic bag and I take it with shaking fingers. I can see his cell phone, keys, and brown threaded wallet through the clear bag in my hand. Is this all I have to hold onto? Everything he had on him when he was hit by the semi?"Has he woken up at all?" The doctor asks, taking Gavin’s chart out from the holder against the wall a
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
I press my fingers to his lips, effectively silencing him and take his face in my hands. His rough stubble and smooth, warm skin of his cheeks make this moment all the more real, telling me that this isn’t a dream. He’s truly awake and here with me."I listened to your messages, Gavin. I believe you, I’m just so sorry I didn't stop and let you explain. I jumped to conclusions. I thought the worst. The image is still so fresh in my mind, but after hearing your voice mails I know I was wrong to think that you'd ever hurt me that way. I'm so sorry, Gavin." My voiceshakes, trembles as I remember the mistake I thought Gavin made, the betrayal and hurt I’d felt when I saw them.He shakes his head, grasping my hands again and looking deeply into my eyes. Tears trickle down my cheeks, and I close my eyes in an attempt to control the emotion that’s pouring out of me. I need to be strong, for now, at least."Baby, please don't cry. Please." Gavin’s deep voice makes my eyes fly open, my hands
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Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE - FINAL
Gavin rests his head beside mine on the hospital bed and I run my fingers through his hair. It shouldn't be long now and I treasure these last moments of quiet before we meet our baby boy for the first time.When I feel another contraction coming on, I grasp his hand in mine and squeeze it through the pain. He wipes my tears away and presses a kiss to my forehead."What can I do, Sophia? I hate seeing you in pain."I lean my forehead against his and shake my head."Just having you here is enough, Gavin. Thank you."He grazes his knuckles down my cheek and lifts one of my hands to his lips to kiss my knuckles."For what baby?""For loving me, having your love is everything I've ever wanted, Gavin."He kisses me then, long and sweet and slow, pouring his love into our connection until I'm breathless."Always, baby. I’ll never stop"It seems like hours until Dr. Hines comes in and sits at the end of my bed. She smiles and another doctor brings in the epidural. Why I couldn’t have it thre
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 3
I twist my fork over and over near the scrambled eggs, pancakes and grits that Gavin made me for breakfast this morning and even though I know I should be eating, especially after yesterday’s news, I don’t have an appetite.“You’re not eating, Beautiful,” Gavin says as he pushes a curl of my hair behind my ear. I nod, not really meeting his eyes and it’s not the first time this morning I’ve done this.The loud clattering of silverware makes my eyes shoot to Gavin’s angry ones and I don’t get a word out of my mouth before he wraps his arm around my back and one under my knees and picks me up in a nanosecond.“W-what are you doing, Gavin?”He doesn’t say anything as he strides into our bedroom, kicks the door shut and sits down against the headboard where he arranges me so I’m facing him. I cross my legs in front of me and fiddle with my hands as I look down at them. The look in his eyes says enough. He wants to know what’s going on, but what am I supposed to say?Hey, baby guess what?
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 2
The on call doctor isn’t Dr. Hines when we arrive at the hospital, but I’m still ushered in to a room and after a few tests of my vitals, blood pressure, and a blood test, the nurse leaves me to change. I pull my eyes from Gavin as he sits in the armchair across from the bed, scanning his eyes over me as if I have a physical injury he can see.“What?”He grins slowly and comes to stand in front of me as I lift the blue sundress I’d been wearing over my head and set it beside me. Holding up the flimsy hospital gown, he helps me put it on and secures his strong arms around my waist instead of tying it behind my back.“You feeling okay, now?”I nod and curl my arms around him, pressing my palm to the base of his neck and pulling his head down to meet my waiting lips. My mouth melds to his, his tongue escapes into mine and I try to show him how much I appreciate him in my kiss. A faint knock on the door makes a low groan emit from Gavin and he rests his forehead on mine.“I’ll wait outs
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 1
One year laterGavinI slide the glass door open and lean my back against the doorway as I watch my beautiful wife work in the garden she insisted on planting herself. Between her dance school for girls and my striving business at Thomas, there really is no reason for her to have to spend countless hours planting and tending to a garden in the harsh sunlight of the morning. But soon after her mother came to see our new house, Sophia had this idea of a large, complex garden that she could tend to as the years went on. It was something to do now that most of her summer classes were done at the school and the weather was getting cool enough to spend time outside. Her determination amazed me and there was no way I was crushing her dream of this beautiful, colorful garden I see now. I watch as her long black hair sways into the wind behind her as she presses soil into the ground beneath her. Her skin is flushed from her time in the sun and she wears a sky blue sundress with a pair of
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX
Kel pulls me away from the arms of my man moments before I see Elizabeth wrap her arms around him and speak softly to him. I know they deserve some time and I know I have to thank my sister and truly, everyone for helping make this wonderful day happen.“Are you sure you want to do this, Honey? You can always change your mind. I know how much you guys have been through and we all just wanted to help make this day as special as possible. I hope you’re not mad at me for keeping the secret from you.”My sister’s big brown eyes fill with worry and I shake my head hastily.“No! Please, Kel this is so wonderful for you to do for us. But how? Buying this land, getting an officiant and everyone to be here, today. How did you all do it?”I watch as she worries her lower lip between her teeth before she grins knowingly and shrugs her shoulders.“Honestly, Mom set a lot of it up. I helped schedule everyone’s flights back home and ordered the dresses for us all. I picked one out that I think you’
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE
As I unpack the two small suitcases Gavin brought back here for me, I realize this place has become home to me and I hadn’t realized that until I woke up without the warmth of Gavin’s embrace as we slept. My phone chimes with a text message and I place the last items in the bathroom cabinet before walking back through the bedroom to retrieve it.Come find me when you’re done unpacking. I want to take you somewhere.I’m smiling as I make my way to his office that’s connected to the hallway that connects the bedroom, half bath and a small room Gavin uses for his business away from the business. If he can, I know he’d rather work from home. I peek my head in the door to see him looking down at his cell phone. I knock twice and his eyes sweep to mine.“That was fast,” he says, coming around the desk and wrapping me up in his arms. A contented sigh passes my lips at the feeling.“I didn’t have much to unpack, actually. Most of my stuff was left here.” “Hmm,” Gavin hums under his breath a
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR
SophiaI slide my eyes open the very moment I feel strong arms tighten around my back, warm breath against my cheek and a contented sigh coming from my lips. I am momentarily confused, wondering where the hell I am. But then I catch the scent of mint and musky man that can only be mistaken for one man. The memories, sweet, sweet memories of last night come flooding back and I can’t stop myself from turning into Gavin’s strong embrace and burying my face into my favorite spot, just below his jaw. I feel his heartbeat under my lips as I kiss his neck and that makes this morning feel much less like a dream. God, how many times had I dreamed of waking up in our bed, seeing Gavin lying across the pillows with one arm slung over his head? I’d noticed it was how he would sleep most nights. Damn, even that turned me on about him. I feel his body stiffen a bit next to me and then he wraps one hand around my nape and pulls me fractionally closer.“You’re here.”I smile, though his eyes are s
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE
Gavin“Is it too late to ask you to spend forever loving me, Gavin? Will you make breakfast for me every day for the rest of our lives? Will you love me again?”Her goddamn beautiful emerald green eyes are like two stones of the finest riches. They cloud with love and fear and hope and it fills my heart to hear her say those words.I never stopped loving you, Sophia Georgia Jones. I never will.I drop to my knees in front of her and clasp her waist tightly in my hands as I look up in the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen. This is the moment I’ve waited so long for. Why is she here? Are we truly healed? Christ, is it even possible to heal from this? I don’t know the answer to any of that, but this, right here, her, she is here. That’s all that matters to me. Her and the love shining through her eyes.“You never have to ask me to love you, Beautiful. You are my everything and I don’t want to eat breakfast without you again. I don’t want to wake up before dawn without you. I don’t wa
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO
I smile at her note and tuck it under my arm before carefully sitting down in the front seat. The white flow dress I wore for Lena’s last scene is made of a mixture of loose satin material for the skirt and thin lace covering my torso. It’s gorgeous and if I tear it I’m sure the theater will have my neck. It must cost more than my paycheck is worth. Once I’m sure it won’t tear from how I’m sitting, I put the car into drive.I am ready to take back my life. I’m ready to heal. As that thought sticks in my mind, I turn around towards the east end of the city, knowing there is one thing I have to do.I pull up to Marley’s Cove and pull the key from the ignition. I don’t know how I found myself here, but here I am. I remember when Gavin brought me, it was technically our first date because the day we met, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted him to come to the party my sister sneakily invited him to. But he showed up and afterwards he brought me here. I remember this place being the first pla
