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CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

Author: Mercie_King
last update Last Updated: 2022-05-12 11:44:31
His roughened voice and harsh grip on my head thrashes me into reality. Oh, God, no. No, no no no! I know that voice. Bryce. It’s not possible…

“Let me go!”

I come back into consciousness when I feel a hand on my shoulder. Panic, fear, pain, disgust – it’s all coursing through me and making my body shake.

It was just a dream. Just another stupid dream. Breathe, Sophia. Just breathe.

In and out. Once I’ve calmed, my eyes drift open and I lift my head to see Dr. Lee standing by the foot of the bed. I wipe my eyes and try for a smile, not sure how long I’ve slept.

"I thought you'd want these, his effects that we found on him when he came in."

He hands me a small plastic bag and I take it with shaking fingers. I can see his cell phone, keys, and brown threaded wallet through the clear bag in my hand.

Is this all I have to hold onto? Everything he had on him when he was hit by the semi?

"Has he woken up at all?" The doctor asks, taking Gavin’s chart out from the holder against the wall a
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  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

    I press my fingers to his lips, effectively silencing him and take his face in my hands. His rough stubble and smooth, warm skin of his cheeks make this moment all the more real, telling me that this isn’t a dream. He’s truly awake and here with me."I listened to your messages, Gavin. I believe you, I’m just so sorry I didn't stop and let you explain. I jumped to conclusions. I thought the worst. The image is still so fresh in my mind, but after hearing your voice mails I know I was wrong to think that you'd ever hurt me that way. I'm so sorry, Gavin." My voiceshakes, trembles as I remember the mistake I thought Gavin made, the betrayal and hurt I’d felt when I saw them.He shakes his head, grasping my hands again and looking deeply into my eyes. Tears trickle down my cheeks, and I close my eyes in an attempt to control the emotion that’s pouring out of me. I need to be strong, for now, at least."Baby, please don't cry. Please." Gavin’s deep voice makes my eyes fly open, my hands

    Last Updated : 2022-05-13

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER FORTY-THREE

    I wait by the closed door of Gavin’s room, knotting my hands across my lap. I just left him with Dr. Lee ten minutes ago and I’m already missing his touch. I can't believe he's really okay. It’s all I can focus on right now. My thoughts are interrupted when Dr. Lee comes out of Gavin's hospital room and looks at me with a much more convincing smile than he gave me before. His kind eyes and easy going nature is almost the polar opposite from the grim looking doctor I met twelve hours ago."How are you doing, Sophia?”“I just want him to be okay. He’s going to be okay right?” I can hear the hope in my voice.“He will, Sophia. From what I can tell, all his vitals are stable and his scans all came back clear. He may have some pain in his ribs for the next few weeks and maybe some headaches depending on how he reacts to the pain medications we've given him so just keep an eye out for that. Other than that, he's good to go." All I hear is he’s going to be okay.I smile, wholeheartedly for

    Last Updated : 2022-05-13

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR

    “Gavin,” I whisper, taking his face in both my hands.“I’m always going to love you.” The words come straight from my heart. I know I’ll forever love this man. From the very moment I saw him, he’s worked his way into my heart and there’s no going back to my sheltered existence before I met him. I gaze up into the endless pools of blue and gray that are his eyes and the smile that he gives me is almost worth the pain of the last two days that we’ve been apart.“I love you so much, Sophia, baby.” His deep voice makes my heart constrict in sheer joy at hearing those deep, reverent words. Then his mouth comes down onto mine, fingers tangle in my wavy, unruly hair and I’m clutching onto him with everything I have. In his kiss, I’m home. Our tongues collide, dancing together. He pulls my bottom lip into his mouth tantalizingly and sucks. I moan softly in response. I feel him smiling against my lips."You are going to have to let me pamper you for the next few weeks. Doctor’s orders, babe

    Last Updated : 2022-05-13

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER FORTY-FIVE

    After three hours of watching daytime television, settled in Gavin's lap with his hands around my middle and his lips pressing to the side of my neck. I hear him groan and then chuckle, grunting a little bit from his broken ribs. He hides it well, but I can tell he's not at his best. The doctor told me he should be taking it easy and I fully intend to make sure he does just that. At least this way I can take care of him. The thought of that fills me with joy, though I hate that my Gavin is in pain. My thoughts are rudely interrupted as he snatches the television remote away from me. I feel him smiling against the side of my head."No way! What are you doing!?" I squeal, fighting to reach the remote he so rudely grabbed out of my hand. I feel his grin as he catches my earlobe tantalizingly between his teeth. My core tightens deliciously at the contact."I’m changing it. This is torture, Beautiful. Three hours of damn soap operas!" I giggle, leaning my head against his chest and look

    Last Updated : 2022-05-13

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER FORTY-SIX

    "Mom, I didn't know you were here," Gavin says, chuckling as she makes her way into the room. Now seeing her without the cloud of emotion I’d had before Gavin awoke, I see how naturally beautiful his mother is. The shape of her face, the curve of her nose, even the gray eyes that compliment her ivory skin. She wears the same sweater and slacks, and I can see Gavin in the way she moves. Wow, they look so much alike.She comes to me and kisses my cheek before leaning back and squeezes my hands. I smile, trying to hide my uneasiness. I want her to like me, though I have no idea how to make that happen since my relationship with my mother has never been smooth."It’s nice to see some color in your cheeks, Sophia. Sorry to interrupt," she smiles wider and gives me a wink before going to Gavin's bedside. She sits beside him and takes his hand in hers, leaning down as she kisses his forehead."You feeling okay, sweetheart?” She asks, gazing down at him lovingly."Yes, mom. I'm good now. W

    Last Updated : 2022-05-13

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

    I ease out onto the freeway just as a familiar song comes onto the radio.“This song,” Gavin murmurs as he takes my free hand and lifts it to his mouth. Butterfly kisses that light me up from the inside are placed on my knuckles as he turns up the volume and when I hear lyrics sung in a deep, throaty voice with base and guitar in the background, I’m taken back to a party only weeks ago.Call it magic, call it true. I call it magic when I'm with youAnd I just got broken, broken into twoStill I call it magic, when I'm next to youAnd I don't, and I don't, and I don't, and I don'tNo I don't, it's trueI don't, no, I don't, no, I don't, no, I don'tWant anybody else but you…I turn my eyes to Gavin’s deep blue grays, filled with nothing but love. Pure, unconditional love that I’ve been too scared to believe in for so long is staring back at me. I look up into those bright eyes of his and I know the same love is shining in mine.“You remember this song, baby?”I smile softly, put the L

    Last Updated : 2022-05-13

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

    My eyes flutter open to the faint light of dawn coming through the large bay windows across the bedroom. I yawn and stretch my limbs happily, having the first truly good night of sleep in three days, having slept beside Gavin. Except for being woken up twice to make love in the late hours of last night, I feel more rested than I have in what feels like a very long time. I press my face into the pillow and let my eyes wander over to Gavin who’s sleeping soundly beside me. His arm is stretched around my waist while he sleeps, as if he can’t help but touch me, be close to me even as he sleeps in a deep slumber. His face is lit with the morning sun and gently, I skim my fingers down his cheek where I can barely see the bruising and cuts from the accident. God, he’s gorgeous. It still seems unreal that this man is mine.“Love you,” I whisper into the hollow of his neck and press a kiss there.“Hmm,” he hums in his sleep, and I carefully slip out of bed, softly step onto the hardwood flo

    Last Updated : 2022-05-14

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER FORTY-NINE

    The moment I taste Greta’s infamous omelet, I moan in satisfaction."Oh my God, this is so good."I take another bite and look up from my plate to see Gavin watching me. The look in his eyes is deep, hungry and it’s not for food."What? It’s really good.""They’re the best known to man, baby. I did warn you."I take a sip of water and smile at him."You did. Can we get out of here, now?" I’m eager to go home and have him all to myself again. Three days apart made me desperate to be with him, and he did say we had all day. I fully intend to soak up every precious minute with Gavin as much as I can.Wiping his mouth with a napkin, Gavin takes my hand and helps me out of the booth and then puts two bills down on the table."Let’s go."As we’re heading back towards the trail that leads to the penthouse and Garment district, my phone starts to ring. I’m tempted to let it go to voicemail, knowing that it couldn’t be important this early in the morning. But Gavin smiles slowly, in that way

    Last Updated : 2022-05-14

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  • Afraid to Love Again   EPILOGUE - FINAL

    Gavin rests his head beside mine on the hospital bed and I run my fingers through his hair. It shouldn't be long now and I treasure these last moments of quiet before we meet our baby boy for the first time.When I feel another contraction coming on, I grasp his hand in mine and squeeze it through the pain. He wipes my tears away and presses a kiss to my forehead."What can I do, Sophia? I hate seeing you in pain."I lean my forehead against his and shake my head."Just having you here is enough, Gavin. Thank you."He grazes his knuckles down my cheek and lifts one of my hands to his lips to kiss my knuckles."For what baby?""For loving me, having your love is everything I've ever wanted, Gavin."He kisses me then, long and sweet and slow, pouring his love into our connection until I'm breathless."Always, baby. I’ll never stop"It seems like hours until Dr. Hines comes in and sits at the end of my bed. She smiles and another doctor brings in the epidural. Why I couldn’t have it thre

  • Afraid to Love Again   EPILOGUE- 3

    I twist my fork over and over near the scrambled eggs, pancakes and grits that Gavin made me for breakfast this morning and even though I know I should be eating, especially after yesterday’s news, I don’t have an appetite.“You’re not eating, Beautiful,” Gavin says as he pushes a curl of my hair behind my ear. I nod, not really meeting his eyes and it’s not the first time this morning I’ve done this.The loud clattering of silverware makes my eyes shoot to Gavin’s angry ones and I don’t get a word out of my mouth before he wraps his arm around my back and one under my knees and picks me up in a nanosecond.“W-what are you doing, Gavin?”He doesn’t say anything as he strides into our bedroom, kicks the door shut and sits down against the headboard where he arranges me so I’m facing him. I cross my legs in front of me and fiddle with my hands as I look down at them. The look in his eyes says enough. He wants to know what’s going on, but what am I supposed to say?Hey, baby guess what?

  • Afraid to Love Again   EPILOGUE- 2

    The on call doctor isn’t Dr. Hines when we arrive at the hospital, but I’m still ushered in to a room and after a few tests of my vitals, blood pressure, and a blood test, the nurse leaves me to change. I pull my eyes from Gavin as he sits in the armchair across from the bed, scanning his eyes over me as if I have a physical injury he can see.“What?”He grins slowly and comes to stand in front of me as I lift the blue sundress I’d been wearing over my head and set it beside me. Holding up the flimsy hospital gown, he helps me put it on and secures his strong arms around my waist instead of tying it behind my back.“You feeling okay, now?”I nod and curl my arms around him, pressing my palm to the base of his neck and pulling his head down to meet my waiting lips. My mouth melds to his, his tongue escapes into mine and I try to show him how much I appreciate him in my kiss. A faint knock on the door makes a low groan emit from Gavin and he rests his forehead on mine.“I’ll wait outs

  • Afraid to Love Again   EPILOGUE- 1

    One year laterGavinI slide the glass door open and lean my back against the doorway as I watch my beautiful wife work in the garden she insisted on planting herself. Between her dance school for girls and my striving business at Thomas, there really is no reason for her to have to spend countless hours planting and tending to a garden in the harsh sunlight of the morning. But soon after her mother came to see our new house, Sophia had this idea of a large, complex garden that she could tend to as the years went on. It was something to do now that most of her summer classes were done at the school and the weather was getting cool enough to spend time outside. Her determination amazed me and there was no way I was crushing her dream of this beautiful, colorful garden I see now. I watch as her long black hair sways into the wind behind her as she presses soil into the ground beneath her. Her skin is flushed from her time in the sun and she wears a sky blue sundress with a pair of

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX

    Kel pulls me away from the arms of my man moments before I see Elizabeth wrap her arms around him and speak softly to him. I know they deserve some time and I know I have to thank my sister and truly, everyone for helping make this wonderful day happen.“Are you sure you want to do this, Honey? You can always change your mind. I know how much you guys have been through and we all just wanted to help make this day as special as possible. I hope you’re not mad at me for keeping the secret from you.”My sister’s big brown eyes fill with worry and I shake my head hastily.“No! Please, Kel this is so wonderful for you to do for us. But how? Buying this land, getting an officiant and everyone to be here, today. How did you all do it?”I watch as she worries her lower lip between her teeth before she grins knowingly and shrugs her shoulders.“Honestly, Mom set a lot of it up. I helped schedule everyone’s flights back home and ordered the dresses for us all. I picked one out that I think you’

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE

    As I unpack the two small suitcases Gavin brought back here for me, I realize this place has become home to me and I hadn’t realized that until I woke up without the warmth of Gavin’s embrace as we slept. My phone chimes with a text message and I place the last items in the bathroom cabinet before walking back through the bedroom to retrieve it.Come find me when you’re done unpacking. I want to take you somewhere.I’m smiling as I make my way to his office that’s connected to the hallway that connects the bedroom, half bath and a small room Gavin uses for his business away from the business. If he can, I know he’d rather work from home. I peek my head in the door to see him looking down at his cell phone. I knock twice and his eyes sweep to mine.“That was fast,” he says, coming around the desk and wrapping me up in his arms. A contented sigh passes my lips at the feeling.“I didn’t have much to unpack, actually. Most of my stuff was left here.” “Hmm,” Gavin hums under his breath a

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR

    SophiaI slide my eyes open the very moment I feel strong arms tighten around my back, warm breath against my cheek and a contented sigh coming from my lips. I am momentarily confused, wondering where the hell I am. But then I catch the scent of mint and musky man that can only be mistaken for one man. The memories, sweet, sweet memories of last night come flooding back and I can’t stop myself from turning into Gavin’s strong embrace and burying my face into my favorite spot, just below his jaw. I feel his heartbeat under my lips as I kiss his neck and that makes this morning feel much less like a dream. God, how many times had I dreamed of waking up in our bed, seeing Gavin lying across the pillows with one arm slung over his head? I’d noticed it was how he would sleep most nights. Damn, even that turned me on about him. I feel his body stiffen a bit next to me and then he wraps one hand around my nape and pulls me fractionally closer.“You’re here.”I smile, though his eyes are s

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE

    Gavin“Is it too late to ask you to spend forever loving me, Gavin? Will you make breakfast for me every day for the rest of our lives? Will you love me again?”Her goddamn beautiful emerald green eyes are like two stones of the finest riches. They cloud with love and fear and hope and it fills my heart to hear her say those words.I never stopped loving you, Sophia Georgia Jones. I never will.I drop to my knees in front of her and clasp her waist tightly in my hands as I look up in the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen. This is the moment I’ve waited so long for. Why is she here? Are we truly healed? Christ, is it even possible to heal from this? I don’t know the answer to any of that, but this, right here, her, she is here. That’s all that matters to me. Her and the love shining through her eyes.“You never have to ask me to love you, Beautiful. You are my everything and I don’t want to eat breakfast without you again. I don’t want to wake up before dawn without you. I don’t wa

  • Afraid to Love Again   CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO

    I smile at her note and tuck it under my arm before carefully sitting down in the front seat. The white flow dress I wore for Lena’s last scene is made of a mixture of loose satin material for the skirt and thin lace covering my torso. It’s gorgeous and if I tear it I’m sure the theater will have my neck. It must cost more than my paycheck is worth. Once I’m sure it won’t tear from how I’m sitting, I put the car into drive.I am ready to take back my life. I’m ready to heal. As that thought sticks in my mind, I turn around towards the east end of the city, knowing there is one thing I have to do.I pull up to Marley’s Cove and pull the key from the ignition. I don’t know how I found myself here, but here I am. I remember when Gavin brought me, it was technically our first date because the day we met, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted him to come to the party my sister sneakily invited him to. But he showed up and afterwards he brought me here. I remember this place being the first pla

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