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CHAPTER SEVENTY-ONE
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SEVENTY-TWO
Kel is near tears as I make my way into the bridal room on the second level of St. Mary's Lutheran Church, the church where seventeen years ago, my dad married my mom. It’s also where I was christened as a baby, and that thought warms my heart."Sophia! Thank God you’re here!" She squeals, shimmying in her floor length wedding dress, and I gasp at the subtle beauty of the piece. I'd been shopping with Farah the day she found her dress and now, I just stand there with clutch in hand, taking it in. It's a low cut neckline, an ivory colored fabric that looks to be made of silky threads that hug her curves perfectly. The waist is tied at the back and as she turns I see the corset styled dress back, showing off her spine and an inked design I've not seen before. Holy crap! My jaw drops open and I just gape at her, walking closer to see the tattoo better. It’s beautiful, an intricate design of cursive writing and a singular red rose underneath the words, and I love him. I run my hand ov
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SEVENTY-THREE
By the time night sets, my feet are aching for relief from the heels I'm wearing. I sit beside Kel and Lucas along with the rest of the bridal party. Gavin is standing by the D J's table, and I wonder vaguely what he's up to. I don't think I can take another dance tonight, my feet are so sore. His stormy eyes shift to mine and he grins, giving me a wink as he approaches me, his eyes dancing between mine. My heart beats fast in my chest and when he stops in front of me, I find myself placing my hand in his once more."One more dance and then we can take off, okay baby?" He helps me stand, leading me back towards the thinning crowds of the lit dance floor, his lips brushing over my knuckles before he sweeps me back into his arms. Every fine toned line of his body presses to mine. I press my head to his chest, just like I did at that party the very first time he held me. I listen to the steady thrum of his heartbeat and the way he holds me and sweeps us across the floor makes me love
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SEVENTY-FOUR
I watch him help her in the passenger seat of his truck and kiss her forehead before he closes the door.Walking back from the truck, Lucas stops in front of me and I can tell he doesn’t want to leave me on my own. Ever since he and Kel started dating, he’s been like a brother to me. Looking out for me. Being an ear to my worries and fears throughout this ordeal ever since I met Gavin and how my past has kept us from truly living out of the darkness. I wish he wouldn’t worry so much about me. Kel, too. They deserve happiness.“I’ll be fine. It’s only a five minute drive. Go take care of her, Luke.”Lucas draws his eyebrows together and looks at me for a while, almost like he’s trying to penetrate my thoughts. Finally he relents and leans in to kiss my head.“I’ll have her call you in the morning before we leave. Be safe.”Lucas gives me a small, concerned smile and ducks into the car, waving before peeling out of the parking lot and leaving me standing there.I blow out a breath, sha
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SEVENTY-FIVE
I hear voices as the weight of darkness starts to ebb away from my mind and body, replaced with such pain in my face, hands, and stomach that I struggle to pull one small breath of air into my lungs."Is she going to be okay?" I know it is Gavin’s voice with all my heart. I would recognize his voice anywhere. His voice is laced with such fear that I want to reach out and comfort him, hold him. But, I can’t. My eyelids are too heavy to open and my limbs are impossible to move with such pain ratcheting my body. My mind is foggy and all I feel is Gavin's hand holding mine, squeezing tight and keeping me from falling back under the darkness."She's been beaten badly, but thankfully we got to her before anything worse could happen to her. She has broken ribs, cuts and bruises, but they will heal. It could be hours until she wakes up and then we'll be able to tell if she's suffered any emotional or mental damage. We'll do some tests to make sure she hasn’t lost any blood we're not aware o
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SEVENTY-SIX
GavinI watch silently as Dr. Lee, the very same doctor who treated me only a few short months ago, checks my girl over. When he lifts her chin to examine the yellowing bruises across her cheek bone and eyes, I want to jump out of my skin knowing she’s in pain from that fucker. Bryce Williams. When we found the abandoned cabin where he was hiding Sophia, all I was focused on was getting her out of there alive. But Spencer knew to be prepared. I see Sophia’s eyes close as she flinches away from the doctor and I know if Spencer hadn’t shot the man responsible – I would have. I would have killed him.Blowing out a breath, I start to pace up and down the hospital corridor, impatient to go back in there with her. Being away from her after the torture of these last twenty four hours is almost too much to take. Christ, I could have lost her.“Mr. Thomas?” I hear the doctor’s voice and turn to face him. Shadows cover his face and somehow I know the news he has for me will be worse than I
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SEVENTY-SEVEN
SophiaThe ocean waves crash in and out of the shore of the lake and I watch them rip in and out in time with the setting sun behind me. I can hear Gavin approaching from behind me as well, and the warmth his presence brings me covers my unheated skin. I only wear a shawl over my slender shoulders and the light sundress I wear tonight isn’t warding off the chill the wind brings in as the sun sets.“Hey, Beautiful. I was looking for you.” I hear his voice first, smooth as velvet to my ears.Gavin pulls me gently into his chest and into his warm embrace. I sag against him and tip my face up to see the stormy blue gray eyes I’ve come to memorize since I’ve known him.“I missed you. Are you feeling okay?”I turn fully into his embrace and rest my chin on his collarbone as I blink up at him.“Yes. Where were you?”His eyes narrow and just now do I realize he is shirtless and there is a small inked design across his right shoulder. I move a step back and read it carefully.Never Forget,T
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SEVENTY-EIGHT
I wake just like before except now I feel Gavin’s smooth hand along my back and his muffled voice telling me I’m safe now. What he doesn’t know is that I’m not afraid because of Bryce or what he put me through. I’m afraid that I’ll never get the chance to love a child the way I know I would have loved our baby. I move my head to the crook of his neck and inhale his musky smell. I love his smell and if I close my eyes, I can remember every time he’s held me like this. I wish to God it was enough to fill the gaping hole inside of me.“I dreamed of her,” I whisper. It feels as if a secret is told through those words, but I have to say it.He deserves the whole truth of what I’m feeling. No less.Gavin leans away slightly at my words and I see the stark pain in his stormy eyes.“I would have named her Tessa Lynn. After your grandmother. She had your brown hair and my green eyes and she was so beautiful, Gavin. She was our baby.”Thick tears fill his eyes as he nods. My breath leaves me,
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER SEVENTY-NINE
I lie in the hospital bed and will myself to go outside of this room and beg Gavin to come back. To hold me. To be with me. But in my heart, even with how painful it is, I know if I do that, I’ll only hurt him. I have to find a way to heal on my own and then maybe, just maybe, we can be what we used to be. When I can look at his face and see the love and contentment he’s brought out in me. When I won’t see everything we’ve lost. Everything I lost. One thing I’m thankful for is that it seems I’ve cried all the tears I can musterand maybe that’s a good thing. I curl into the lumpy mattress beneath me and close my eyes to sleep. I lie eyes closed, feet burrowed into the sheets and will a deep sleep to find me. But I can’t seem to fallback into the darkness. I hear a faint knock on the door and see the young and tired looking face of Nurse Maggie pop inside my room. She smiles gently, for sure she must know what happened and the sympathy or pity on her face is almost too much to see
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Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE - FINAL
Gavin rests his head beside mine on the hospital bed and I run my fingers through his hair. It shouldn't be long now and I treasure these last moments of quiet before we meet our baby boy for the first time.When I feel another contraction coming on, I grasp his hand in mine and squeeze it through the pain. He wipes my tears away and presses a kiss to my forehead."What can I do, Sophia? I hate seeing you in pain."I lean my forehead against his and shake my head."Just having you here is enough, Gavin. Thank you."He grazes his knuckles down my cheek and lifts one of my hands to his lips to kiss my knuckles."For what baby?""For loving me, having your love is everything I've ever wanted, Gavin."He kisses me then, long and sweet and slow, pouring his love into our connection until I'm breathless."Always, baby. I’ll never stop"It seems like hours until Dr. Hines comes in and sits at the end of my bed. She smiles and another doctor brings in the epidural. Why I couldn’t have it thre
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 3
I twist my fork over and over near the scrambled eggs, pancakes and grits that Gavin made me for breakfast this morning and even though I know I should be eating, especially after yesterday’s news, I don’t have an appetite.“You’re not eating, Beautiful,” Gavin says as he pushes a curl of my hair behind my ear. I nod, not really meeting his eyes and it’s not the first time this morning I’ve done this.The loud clattering of silverware makes my eyes shoot to Gavin’s angry ones and I don’t get a word out of my mouth before he wraps his arm around my back and one under my knees and picks me up in a nanosecond.“W-what are you doing, Gavin?”He doesn’t say anything as he strides into our bedroom, kicks the door shut and sits down against the headboard where he arranges me so I’m facing him. I cross my legs in front of me and fiddle with my hands as I look down at them. The look in his eyes says enough. He wants to know what’s going on, but what am I supposed to say?Hey, baby guess what?
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 2
The on call doctor isn’t Dr. Hines when we arrive at the hospital, but I’m still ushered in to a room and after a few tests of my vitals, blood pressure, and a blood test, the nurse leaves me to change. I pull my eyes from Gavin as he sits in the armchair across from the bed, scanning his eyes over me as if I have a physical injury he can see.“What?”He grins slowly and comes to stand in front of me as I lift the blue sundress I’d been wearing over my head and set it beside me. Holding up the flimsy hospital gown, he helps me put it on and secures his strong arms around my waist instead of tying it behind my back.“You feeling okay, now?”I nod and curl my arms around him, pressing my palm to the base of his neck and pulling his head down to meet my waiting lips. My mouth melds to his, his tongue escapes into mine and I try to show him how much I appreciate him in my kiss. A faint knock on the door makes a low groan emit from Gavin and he rests his forehead on mine.“I’ll wait outs
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 1
One year laterGavinI slide the glass door open and lean my back against the doorway as I watch my beautiful wife work in the garden she insisted on planting herself. Between her dance school for girls and my striving business at Thomas, there really is no reason for her to have to spend countless hours planting and tending to a garden in the harsh sunlight of the morning. But soon after her mother came to see our new house, Sophia had this idea of a large, complex garden that she could tend to as the years went on. It was something to do now that most of her summer classes were done at the school and the weather was getting cool enough to spend time outside. Her determination amazed me and there was no way I was crushing her dream of this beautiful, colorful garden I see now. I watch as her long black hair sways into the wind behind her as she presses soil into the ground beneath her. Her skin is flushed from her time in the sun and she wears a sky blue sundress with a pair of
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX
Kel pulls me away from the arms of my man moments before I see Elizabeth wrap her arms around him and speak softly to him. I know they deserve some time and I know I have to thank my sister and truly, everyone for helping make this wonderful day happen.“Are you sure you want to do this, Honey? You can always change your mind. I know how much you guys have been through and we all just wanted to help make this day as special as possible. I hope you’re not mad at me for keeping the secret from you.”My sister’s big brown eyes fill with worry and I shake my head hastily.“No! Please, Kel this is so wonderful for you to do for us. But how? Buying this land, getting an officiant and everyone to be here, today. How did you all do it?”I watch as she worries her lower lip between her teeth before she grins knowingly and shrugs her shoulders.“Honestly, Mom set a lot of it up. I helped schedule everyone’s flights back home and ordered the dresses for us all. I picked one out that I think you’
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE
As I unpack the two small suitcases Gavin brought back here for me, I realize this place has become home to me and I hadn’t realized that until I woke up without the warmth of Gavin’s embrace as we slept. My phone chimes with a text message and I place the last items in the bathroom cabinet before walking back through the bedroom to retrieve it.Come find me when you’re done unpacking. I want to take you somewhere.I’m smiling as I make my way to his office that’s connected to the hallway that connects the bedroom, half bath and a small room Gavin uses for his business away from the business. If he can, I know he’d rather work from home. I peek my head in the door to see him looking down at his cell phone. I knock twice and his eyes sweep to mine.“That was fast,” he says, coming around the desk and wrapping me up in his arms. A contented sigh passes my lips at the feeling.“I didn’t have much to unpack, actually. Most of my stuff was left here.” “Hmm,” Gavin hums under his breath a
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR
SophiaI slide my eyes open the very moment I feel strong arms tighten around my back, warm breath against my cheek and a contented sigh coming from my lips. I am momentarily confused, wondering where the hell I am. But then I catch the scent of mint and musky man that can only be mistaken for one man. The memories, sweet, sweet memories of last night come flooding back and I can’t stop myself from turning into Gavin’s strong embrace and burying my face into my favorite spot, just below his jaw. I feel his heartbeat under my lips as I kiss his neck and that makes this morning feel much less like a dream. God, how many times had I dreamed of waking up in our bed, seeing Gavin lying across the pillows with one arm slung over his head? I’d noticed it was how he would sleep most nights. Damn, even that turned me on about him. I feel his body stiffen a bit next to me and then he wraps one hand around my nape and pulls me fractionally closer.“You’re here.”I smile, though his eyes are s
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE
Gavin“Is it too late to ask you to spend forever loving me, Gavin? Will you make breakfast for me every day for the rest of our lives? Will you love me again?”Her goddamn beautiful emerald green eyes are like two stones of the finest riches. They cloud with love and fear and hope and it fills my heart to hear her say those words.I never stopped loving you, Sophia Georgia Jones. I never will.I drop to my knees in front of her and clasp her waist tightly in my hands as I look up in the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen. This is the moment I’ve waited so long for. Why is she here? Are we truly healed? Christ, is it even possible to heal from this? I don’t know the answer to any of that, but this, right here, her, she is here. That’s all that matters to me. Her and the love shining through her eyes.“You never have to ask me to love you, Beautiful. You are my everything and I don’t want to eat breakfast without you again. I don’t want to wake up before dawn without you. I don’t wa
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO
I smile at her note and tuck it under my arm before carefully sitting down in the front seat. The white flow dress I wore for Lena’s last scene is made of a mixture of loose satin material for the skirt and thin lace covering my torso. It’s gorgeous and if I tear it I’m sure the theater will have my neck. It must cost more than my paycheck is worth. Once I’m sure it won’t tear from how I’m sitting, I put the car into drive.I am ready to take back my life. I’m ready to heal. As that thought sticks in my mind, I turn around towards the east end of the city, knowing there is one thing I have to do.I pull up to Marley’s Cove and pull the key from the ignition. I don’t know how I found myself here, but here I am. I remember when Gavin brought me, it was technically our first date because the day we met, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted him to come to the party my sister sneakily invited him to. But he showed up and afterwards he brought me here. I remember this place being the first pla
