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CHAPTER FIFTY
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FIFTY-ONE
My eyes open after a long and restful sleep and I reach out for Gavin’s warmth next to me, but when my hand touches cold sheets, I look over to see the empty space beside me. Where is he? I wrap the sheets around me and my feet shuffle down the hallway to where I hear Gavin speaking on the phone. He must be in his office, I think to myself. I was hoping that he didn’t have to go back to work so quickly, but I know his work is important, vital to the man I love and I wouldn’t want to ever change that. So, I settle in to make some coffee and skim my fingers over the bookshelves lining the walls in the spacious living room. I’ve never seen Gavin with a book in his hand and it surprises me that he has such a large collection. Charles Dickens, Ray Donovan, Marie Barnes, Nicholas Sparks, the authors range from one genre to another and somehow I know that most of these couldn’t be Gavin’s. I couldn’t imagine him reading a full length novel like Great Expectations. He thrives on action,
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FIFTY-TWO
She beams up at me and sets her menu down, her eyes bright and full of joy suddenly.“Well…” She takes a sip of her Blue Moon and her eyes are filled with happiness. There is no doubt or uncertainty that I’ve seen since she’s met Jaden. He’s so good to her and I know she is happy but I also know that it’s hard for her to believe in happily ever afters and forever’s. She’s never been that kind of girl. She deserves it, though. A happy ending, just like the rest of us.“I’m moving in with Jaden. He asked me last night.”My jaw drops open and I immediately reach over and squeeze her hand.“Oh my God, and you waited all this time to tell me?” She grins brightly and I can see how happy she is, now I know why.“Well, I figured I’d let you be curious for a bit. Anticipation is the best part isn’t it?”“Not on this! How did he ask you?” She tells me how Jaden put a key on her key ring and told her that he didn’t want to be away from her anymore.“I’m so happy for you, Farah,” I say into a bi
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
“I’ll obviously have to make some calls, but there is an up and coming ballet that is looking for some new talent. It’s called Alas the Night. Is that something you’d be interested in?”I’m immediately thrilled. I’ve done recreational dancing, professional dancing with a troupe I’d joined back when I was studying, but it was always my dream to dance in the spotlight. The ballet. I hastily nod my head and beam with a smile so wide it hurts.“That’s the dream,” I say simply and with the nod of Scott’s head, I know he understands.The moment I get back in my sister’s car, she sees my wide, happy smile.“Things go okay?” She asks as she starts the car. Her eyes are trained on me and I bet she knows already that the meeting went well.“Things are looking up,” I say and wink at her so she can see my smile. I feel hopeful that I haven’t lost my only opportunity in the dance world after-all.I lead us up the steps toward Gavin’s penthouse, ours actually.“Why would you hesitate to move in her
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
“I’ll obviously have to make some calls, but there is an up and coming ballet that is looking for some new talent. It’s called Alas the Night. Is that something you’d be interested in?”I’m immediately thrilled. I’ve done recreational dancing, professional dancing with a troupe I’d joined back when I was studying, but it was always my dream to dance in the spotlight. The ballet. I hastily nod my head and beam with a smile so wide it hurts.“That’s the dream,” I say simply and with the nod of Scott’s head, I know he understands.The moment I get back in my sister’s car, she sees my wide, happy smile.“Things go okay?” She asks as she starts the car. Her eyes are trained on me and I bet she knows already that the meeting went well.“Things are looking up,” I say and wink at her so she can see my smile. I feel hopeful that I haven’t lost my only opportunity in the dance world after-all.I lead us up the steps toward Gavin’s penthouse, ours actually.“Why would you hesitate to move in her
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
It’s a sunny Saturday morning and Farah and I go in and out of shops on Central Avenue in downtown Chicago, searching for the bridesmaids dresses Kel described to us. Lavender with a cup neck, strapless and length coming to just under our knees with black heeled sandals to match. The more time goes by, the more my feet hurt from all this walking. Crap, I forgot just how much I hate shopping. I remember, when my mom used to take Kel and me; it was torture."Seriously, are we done yet?" I whine, grinning when Farah gives me what can only be explained as the fuck-off look. From experience, I know that when she's on a mission, which she is now, there's no stopping her."No, we have two more stores to go. Come on honey."I begrudgingly follow her inside Neiman Marcus, promising myself a pint of Ben & Jerry's Rocky Road ice cream after this.After searching high and low, I hear Farah squeal in delight and hold up yet another sleeveless dress, this one with a black embroidered sash at the
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
Once Farah is in her place, waving happily over her shoulder, I pull out and head towards East End again. I’m eagerly looking forward to seeing my man after a long day of shopping, shopping and more shopping. The butterflies start again as I think about how amazing the last few weeks have been. Gavin has either taken me out to eat or made something for me every night since our wedding-planning session with Kel. He's been so good to me, it sometimes feels too good to be true.When I'm stopped at a red light, I spot a gray Lincoln Aviator behind me. It’s directly behind me, as if it's tailing me. The windows are tinted and an unfamiliar sense of dread seeps through my veins as it follows me down I-22 all the way until the next light and I turn right, watching the rear view mirror as it goes out of my sight. I know Aaron is in the next lane and nothing will happen to me, but God, was I just being followed?I keep a steady speed towards the penthouse, but by the time I arrive in the p
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FIFTY-SEVEN
Gavin stands with me against his chest and nods toward Lucas and Kel who are both smiling. They know exactly why we’re leaving and with that realization, my cheeks heat.“Have fun.” My sister practically sings and I can’t help but laugh as she hugs me and whispers in my ear.“It’s good to see you so happy, Sophie. See you soon.”Gavin takes my hand and tugs me out into the cool Chicago night air and immediately pushes me against the hood of his car. He dips his head and begins to run kisses down my throat and neck.“Oh, please take me home Gavin,” I beg and pull his head back with my hands so I can see the depths of his brilliant blue gray eyes.“Home,” he drawls, skating fingers down my face to grasp my chin. Those eyes of his fill with tenderness and it melts me into a puddle before him. I nod and smile shyly.“Take me home.”It feels like it takes hours to get back to the penthouse and then also for the short ride up the elevator. Gavin keeps his arm around my waist the entire wa
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
“Mr. Thomas?” The line to my office phone lights up the moment I am sitting. I press the retrieve call button and the rough voice of an older man, a man I’ve done business with more than a few times comes over the line.“Ah, Gavin Thomas, it’s good to get in touch with you. You were out of sync for a bit there. Everything OK lately?”I press the phone to my ear and boot up the computer while I speak with him.“Good to hear from you, Keith. Yes, an emergency came up, but I am back now and looking to know exactly how the Hellman deal went. I’m surprised no one has filled me in on the status, but since you were with me from the beginning of this deal, you’d surely loop me in, right?”Since coming into the business only six or so years ago, I’ve learned that people rarely keep their promises or word. But, write them into a contract and clients have no choice but to be upfront and straight with you. So, when I had an opportunity to purchase and turn over a small but thriving mobile techn
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Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE - FINAL
Gavin rests his head beside mine on the hospital bed and I run my fingers through his hair. It shouldn't be long now and I treasure these last moments of quiet before we meet our baby boy for the first time.When I feel another contraction coming on, I grasp his hand in mine and squeeze it through the pain. He wipes my tears away and presses a kiss to my forehead."What can I do, Sophia? I hate seeing you in pain."I lean my forehead against his and shake my head."Just having you here is enough, Gavin. Thank you."He grazes his knuckles down my cheek and lifts one of my hands to his lips to kiss my knuckles."For what baby?""For loving me, having your love is everything I've ever wanted, Gavin."He kisses me then, long and sweet and slow, pouring his love into our connection until I'm breathless."Always, baby. I’ll never stop"It seems like hours until Dr. Hines comes in and sits at the end of my bed. She smiles and another doctor brings in the epidural. Why I couldn’t have it thre
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 3
I twist my fork over and over near the scrambled eggs, pancakes and grits that Gavin made me for breakfast this morning and even though I know I should be eating, especially after yesterday’s news, I don’t have an appetite.“You’re not eating, Beautiful,” Gavin says as he pushes a curl of my hair behind my ear. I nod, not really meeting his eyes and it’s not the first time this morning I’ve done this.The loud clattering of silverware makes my eyes shoot to Gavin’s angry ones and I don’t get a word out of my mouth before he wraps his arm around my back and one under my knees and picks me up in a nanosecond.“W-what are you doing, Gavin?”He doesn’t say anything as he strides into our bedroom, kicks the door shut and sits down against the headboard where he arranges me so I’m facing him. I cross my legs in front of me and fiddle with my hands as I look down at them. The look in his eyes says enough. He wants to know what’s going on, but what am I supposed to say?Hey, baby guess what?
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 2
The on call doctor isn’t Dr. Hines when we arrive at the hospital, but I’m still ushered in to a room and after a few tests of my vitals, blood pressure, and a blood test, the nurse leaves me to change. I pull my eyes from Gavin as he sits in the armchair across from the bed, scanning his eyes over me as if I have a physical injury he can see.“What?”He grins slowly and comes to stand in front of me as I lift the blue sundress I’d been wearing over my head and set it beside me. Holding up the flimsy hospital gown, he helps me put it on and secures his strong arms around my waist instead of tying it behind my back.“You feeling okay, now?”I nod and curl my arms around him, pressing my palm to the base of his neck and pulling his head down to meet my waiting lips. My mouth melds to his, his tongue escapes into mine and I try to show him how much I appreciate him in my kiss. A faint knock on the door makes a low groan emit from Gavin and he rests his forehead on mine.“I’ll wait outs
Afraid to Love Again EPILOGUE- 1
One year laterGavinI slide the glass door open and lean my back against the doorway as I watch my beautiful wife work in the garden she insisted on planting herself. Between her dance school for girls and my striving business at Thomas, there really is no reason for her to have to spend countless hours planting and tending to a garden in the harsh sunlight of the morning. But soon after her mother came to see our new house, Sophia had this idea of a large, complex garden that she could tend to as the years went on. It was something to do now that most of her summer classes were done at the school and the weather was getting cool enough to spend time outside. Her determination amazed me and there was no way I was crushing her dream of this beautiful, colorful garden I see now. I watch as her long black hair sways into the wind behind her as she presses soil into the ground beneath her. Her skin is flushed from her time in the sun and she wears a sky blue sundress with a pair of
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-SIX
Kel pulls me away from the arms of my man moments before I see Elizabeth wrap her arms around him and speak softly to him. I know they deserve some time and I know I have to thank my sister and truly, everyone for helping make this wonderful day happen.“Are you sure you want to do this, Honey? You can always change your mind. I know how much you guys have been through and we all just wanted to help make this day as special as possible. I hope you’re not mad at me for keeping the secret from you.”My sister’s big brown eyes fill with worry and I shake my head hastily.“No! Please, Kel this is so wonderful for you to do for us. But how? Buying this land, getting an officiant and everyone to be here, today. How did you all do it?”I watch as she worries her lower lip between her teeth before she grins knowingly and shrugs her shoulders.“Honestly, Mom set a lot of it up. I helped schedule everyone’s flights back home and ordered the dresses for us all. I picked one out that I think you’
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FIVE
As I unpack the two small suitcases Gavin brought back here for me, I realize this place has become home to me and I hadn’t realized that until I woke up without the warmth of Gavin’s embrace as we slept. My phone chimes with a text message and I place the last items in the bathroom cabinet before walking back through the bedroom to retrieve it.Come find me when you’re done unpacking. I want to take you somewhere.I’m smiling as I make my way to his office that’s connected to the hallway that connects the bedroom, half bath and a small room Gavin uses for his business away from the business. If he can, I know he’d rather work from home. I peek my head in the door to see him looking down at his cell phone. I knock twice and his eyes sweep to mine.“That was fast,” he says, coming around the desk and wrapping me up in his arms. A contented sigh passes my lips at the feeling.“I didn’t have much to unpack, actually. Most of my stuff was left here.” “Hmm,” Gavin hums under his breath a
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-FOUR
SophiaI slide my eyes open the very moment I feel strong arms tighten around my back, warm breath against my cheek and a contented sigh coming from my lips. I am momentarily confused, wondering where the hell I am. But then I catch the scent of mint and musky man that can only be mistaken for one man. The memories, sweet, sweet memories of last night come flooding back and I can’t stop myself from turning into Gavin’s strong embrace and burying my face into my favorite spot, just below his jaw. I feel his heartbeat under my lips as I kiss his neck and that makes this morning feel much less like a dream. God, how many times had I dreamed of waking up in our bed, seeing Gavin lying across the pillows with one arm slung over his head? I’d noticed it was how he would sleep most nights. Damn, even that turned me on about him. I feel his body stiffen a bit next to me and then he wraps one hand around my nape and pulls me fractionally closer.“You’re here.”I smile, though his eyes are s
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-THREE
Gavin“Is it too late to ask you to spend forever loving me, Gavin? Will you make breakfast for me every day for the rest of our lives? Will you love me again?”Her goddamn beautiful emerald green eyes are like two stones of the finest riches. They cloud with love and fear and hope and it fills my heart to hear her say those words.I never stopped loving you, Sophia Georgia Jones. I never will.I drop to my knees in front of her and clasp her waist tightly in my hands as I look up in the brightest green eyes I’ve ever seen. This is the moment I’ve waited so long for. Why is she here? Are we truly healed? Christ, is it even possible to heal from this? I don’t know the answer to any of that, but this, right here, her, she is here. That’s all that matters to me. Her and the love shining through her eyes.“You never have to ask me to love you, Beautiful. You are my everything and I don’t want to eat breakfast without you again. I don’t want to wake up before dawn without you. I don’t wa
Afraid to Love Again CHAPTER EIGHTY-TWO
I smile at her note and tuck it under my arm before carefully sitting down in the front seat. The white flow dress I wore for Lena’s last scene is made of a mixture of loose satin material for the skirt and thin lace covering my torso. It’s gorgeous and if I tear it I’m sure the theater will have my neck. It must cost more than my paycheck is worth. Once I’m sure it won’t tear from how I’m sitting, I put the car into drive.I am ready to take back my life. I’m ready to heal. As that thought sticks in my mind, I turn around towards the east end of the city, knowing there is one thing I have to do.I pull up to Marley’s Cove and pull the key from the ignition. I don’t know how I found myself here, but here I am. I remember when Gavin brought me, it was technically our first date because the day we met, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted him to come to the party my sister sneakily invited him to. But he showed up and afterwards he brought me here. I remember this place being the first pla
