Chapter 1

“You know, sometime you are gonna have to get out there and explore,” Keith said as he plopped on the couch and grabbed the remote. “I know you miss your friends but I highly doubt that any of them will want you to basically be the walking dead while they aren’t here.”

I mentally rolled my eyes. “It’s not like that, you know I have a lot going on with Uni and I can’t afford to fail. Not now, not ever.”

Keith scoffed and turned to face me, “you have got to be kidding me. Let’s get some facts correct here for a change: you are one of the smartest people in faculty of Arts you aren’t broke, like ever and you have looks to kill. All the girls in my faculty who have seen you always ask about you but ever time I have to turn them down on your behalf which ends up making me look like a jerk or worse off, that I have a secret crush on you,” he said matter-of-factly. “Just come with me to tonight’s party and prove everyone wrong.”

“Prove them wrong in what regards?” I arched an eyebrow and placed my pencil down. “I don’t have to prove anything to anyone and as my roommate and friend, you should know that about me by now. I just don’t find going out as appealing anymore.”

I didn’t want to get into the details of why I suddenly stopped being a party-goer and as much as Keith asked about it, I always changed the subject. Admitting that I was now who I was because I once lost someone who was so close and special to me would only make Keith ask more questions which meant talking about her and that was why I was in therapy, I still couldn’t talk about Alexis with anyone, not even Nick.

“I know that, but I am only asking you to come with me this once and keep me company and also get to meet my friends outside of this apartment,” Keith said with an air of understanding. “Leah would like you to meet some of her friends and just talk, nothing more. Please!” He added and then batted his eyelashes at me.

I burst out laughing, “don’t ever do that again, please. But fine, I shall go with you just this once after that, I don’t want you t bring it up ever again,” I said and grabbed my pencil and went back to the sketch I was drawing for class.

“I swear, you won’t regret it, Mark throws the best parties around campus and that’s why many people like him.”

“Are you talking about Mark Robinsons? Douche of the year who uses girls and changes them on a weekly basis? That Mark?”

Keith waved his hand dismissively, “does it matter?”

“I suppose not, if they are comfortable with it then I don’t mind,” I responded as I chewed the bottom of my pencil thinking of what details to add to the sketch. “Anyway, what time are we leaving? I need to be back before 1am because I have to a last minute weekend class at 8am.”

“Do they ever let you rest with all the classes you have?”

“Yeah, but we have a an open night next Friday and the professor wants everyone to be ready to showcase our work by then.”

“Be ready by 6 O’Clock.” Then he went back to scrolling mindlessly through the N*****x.

I sighed as I picked my things up from the dining table and headed to my room. The guys would be pleased if they found out that I was going out and so would my therapist. It’s been close to three years since I last went to a party and that was only because it was graduation and I wasn’t going to be allowed to miss it. I placed my sketchpad on the desk along with all the pencils and plopped down on the bed staring at the ceiling. It was times like this where I really missed talking to Alexis and having her call me out on all my bullshit.

I remained like that for what felt like an hour when there was suddenly a knock at my door.

“I said 6, I hope you are ready to leave,” came Keith's ever annoying voice from the other side. “And wear something decent or whatever you artists like to wear as long as you look like you weren't trying too much.”

I forced myself from my bed, took a quick shower and then grabbed some ripped jeans, a loose tee and my favourite boots from the closet and threw them on. Then, I brushed my fingers through my hair, tousling it just enough to look as if it didn’t put any effort but still presentable and then I looked at myself one last time in the mirror before I left to meet Keith.

“Well, I will be damned, but you look hot dude ,” Keith said with a straight face. “If I swung that way then I would definitely ask you out for a drink or two.”

“Just because I don’t go out doesn’t mean I don’t know how to dress,” I replied flatly, “and even if you tried, you couldn’t score a drink with me anyone.”

Keith placed a hand on his chest and gasped , ”am I not the guy of your dreams Miller? Your words wound me.”

I flipped him off and began heading for the door and grabbed my jacket from the coat hanger, “let’s go before I change my mind.”

******

By the time we were pulling up in front of Mark’s house, it was past 7 o'clock and the street was filled with all types of cars.

“Why am I here again?” I asked myself but Keith heard me.

“Because you are here to have fun and get out of your comfort-zone while letting me brag to everyone how this is my car,” he said to which I just stared at him. “C’mon man, you have a really cool car and you never let me use it and we’ve been roommates for like what, 2 years now. Just let me have this just this once because I know Mark will ask questions.”

I sighed, he did have a slight point I guess and I didn’t plan on staying here long anyways so what harm was there in letting him ride his high tide until he crashed and burned alone?

“Fine, but I leave by 1am and you better give me the keys by then,” I said as I opened the car door and got out and Keith followed suit and I tossed him the car keys which he caught swiftly. “I mean it Keith, don’t fuck up my time.”

Keith started heading towards the house, “I would never do that to you Miller, you have my word. Scouts honour.”

“You of all people have no honour, just keep your word and I promise not to let you sleep outside again,” I said with a fake smile as the music got louder and louder the closer we got to the house.

“You are one mean person Miller,” Keith shouted over the music when we got inside.

The house was swarming with bodies pressed up against each other and the whole place felt uncomfortably warm. Red solo cups were everywhere on the floor while others were in people’s hands. The whole thing reminded me of the parties that Keith and I used to throw when we were still in high school and hadn't yet transferred schools in the middle of the school year. Those were the good time but as I looked at everyone, I remembered why I stopped partying or throwing parties to begin with.

“Leah said she’s by the kitchen, let’s go,” Keith grabbed my elbow which I was not a fan of and led us to the kitchen where Leah’s current girlfriend and probably the only one of his girlfriends I actually liked was.

She was with two other girls who I'd only seen a few times and some of Keith’s friends. When Leah saw us approaching, she stepped away from the group and came to meet us halfway where she pulled Keith into a hug and he finally let go of my elbow which was a relief.

“Jake, I’m glad you could came,” she said and then gave me a hug. I liked this girl and I hoped Keith wouldn’t break her heart too. She was really nice with her baby blue eyes and her hair curled up in waves.

“Well, I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” I replied sarcastically and Leah laughed but didn't say anything as she led us to the group she was with who all looked at me as if I’d grown two heads.

“He actually came, damn dude what did you offer him to get him to come?" Lucian asked the question that was etched on everyone's faces.

Keith just shrugged, “I have my ways,” he replied coolly and I scoffed which made them turn to face me.

“You wish,” I said to Keith and then turned to face everyone, “I came because I wanted to and nothing else.”

“Whatever it is, I’m just glad you came man,” Ian responded cheerfully and then passed me a cup but Keith intercepted it before I could even say anything.

“He doesn’t drink, so I’ll have it instead,” Keith replied smugly and I almost burst out laughing. As much as Keith and I were friends and roommates, there was still a lot I didn’t tell him about myself and this was one of them.

“Actually,” I began as I walked to the fridge and pulled myself a bottle, “I do drink, just not often.”

I could feel the death glare that Keith was sending my way but I shrugged it off. If tonight the old me was coming out, then I might as well do it right. I gracefully opened the bottle and placed it at my lips, letting the cool liquid burn its way through me. I spent a few more minutes talking to everyone and getting to know them outside uni which was a first but they weren't as bad as I thought.

Keith and Leah left after spending ten minutes with us and then I followed suit with another bottle in hand and wondered around the place until I found a balcony. Once I was outside, I could smell the salty ocean water and breathed a sigh of relief. This was first and last time I was allowing old Jake out again. I didn’t like living this life anymore and it was one of the reasons why I left America in favour of attending University in Australia, a place where I could start afresh and leave everything in the past, including my family’s wealth, name and status.

“Why are you out here alone?” Came an unfamiliar voice from somewhere in the shadows and turned to face the person but I couldn’t see them. His British accent was so prominent with every syllable’s emphasis.

“Whose asking?”

The person appeared from the shadows and it was a guy about my age or older, I couldn’t really tell. He had the darkest hair I’d ever seen and he wore all black, kind of like those cliché stories and there was a bottle in one hand. “Does it matter whose asking?” He arched an eyebrow at me quizzically as he took another step towards me and into the light. “Does it matter who you talk to these things provided you won’t remember their name or face the next day? Does it still matter?”

“I suppose not,” I replied nonchalantly and took a sip from my bottle. “So, why are you outside alone?”

The guy shrugged as he now stood so close to me I could practically smell his cologne which wasn’t cheap. Now that I could see him, he looked older and there was slight stubble on his face making him handsome in a rough kind of way. “I needed some air, being there was starting to cloud my better judgement,” he replied coolly as he took a drink from his bottle and stared straight ahead and the ocean. “What are you doing out here alone?”

I felt a chill run up my spine with how he said alone. But I wasn’t going to let this get to me. “I needed air too, I don’t usually come to these things anyways,” I replied, not meeting his burning gaze.

We stood there in silence, each lost in their own thoughts until he spoke up. “Do you want to grab a drink? I could use someone to talk to?” His words pierced through the quiet night.

“Why not.”

He led me back to where he was coming from and there was a cooler and a couch and he sat down. “Don’t worry, I don’t bite nor am I interested in you. I just need to talk since my friend dragged me here and then abandoned me for a first girl that dared to look his way,” he said that last part coldly but I didn’t respond, instead, I sat down next to him and took the bottle he handed me. “Long story short, my girlfriend of three-years just suddenly decided it was time to break up without any explanation whatsoever and the worst part is that it all happened today.” He chugged the bottle he was holding down so fast that all I could do was watch.

“My roommate brought me here too, so I know what you are talking about. Though, I really am sorry about your broke up,” was all I could master to say.

I sat there listening to him talk about his shitty girlfriend who he never wanted to see and how he hated his best friend for dragging him here and them leaving him alone as if a party was where he needed to be to nurse his broken heart.

Before I knew it, the guy was drunk and I was beyond being tipsy myself. I stumbled up and tried to stop myself from falling.

“C’mon, let’s help you find your friend,” I slurred as I tried to lift him up and we both ended up falling back down, with his lips touching mine and I don’t know if it was him or him but our lips started moving in unison and everything was forgotten.

I felt his hand find their way into my hair as he deepened the kiss and I kissed him back. Our hands roaming and touching every available skin that was exposed.