WHEN YOU'RE IN PAIN, HOWL TO THE MOON

ADAIRA

~

I walked with a smile on my face between my parents as they led me back to the pack square. My parents stood on either side of me like they were afraid I would run at the slightest opportunity. I wanted to, but I stayed for their sake. Even if it felt like my heart was being torn to shreds, I wouldn’t be selfish, they’ve given up so much for me, this was the least I could do to give them a better life. I would smile and pretend to be happy, I would mate Tyler even if he loathed my existence.

It was a full moon, that was the only time this kind of ceremony could be held. Fated mates could have their mating ceremonies at any time, but those like me and Tyler that weren’t fated but decided to choose each other had to mate on the night of a full moon. It was a symbolism of getting the moon Goddess’ blessing for the union.

The light of the moon always gave me comfort, and tonight was no different. I prayed to the moon Goddess for the strength to go through with this and what I would have to live through from now on. Tyler would continue to pretend that he was in love with me, but I would know that it was all lies, and that would hurt so much more. I wish I had never heard his conversation with his father. I preferred to continue living in blissful ignorance, but it was too late to make that wish.

Tyler was already at the centre of the gathering waiting. I tried to put on my best smile as I walked to him. My parents moved away from my side because this part of the ceremony required just me and Tyler. Our parents would bless our union after we had taken our blood oath and bound our souls together as mates. Tyler’s face was clear of any emotion as he watched me and it made my heart break even more. If I didn’t already know that he doesn’t want me, I would have told myself that he was just nervous.

But now, the veil of ignorance had been removed from my eyes and I could now see all the things that just didn’t add up. My smile didn’t falter till he smiled, but then I realised that he wasn’t smiling at me but at someone behind me. I turned and saw Chantel walking behind me dressed in the most beautiful gown I had ever seen. One look at her eyes and the way Tyler looked at her, I just knew, she and Tyler were mates, true mates.

Tyler walked past me to meet her and held her hand.

“This sham of a mating ceremony is off, I already have a mate.” Tyler announced to everyone.

There were gasps of surprise and murmurs erupted among the others but my eyes were glued to Chantel’s neck. There was no mistaking what I was looking at, it was a mating mark. Tyler ripped off the sweater he wore atop his shirt and I saw that he had a matching mark, they had already claimed each other, no one could separate them again, not even his father, they were bonded now.

“Tyler.” I called him and he turned to me with a look of pure hatred.

No one had ever looked at me like that before, and it shocked me to the bone.

“You’re the reason I was apart from her for so long. I don’t know how you could even believe that I wanted you, look at yourself. Everyone keeps adoing you because you have a white wolf, but you’re nothing but a weak, worthless Omega and that is all you’ll ever be.”

I didn’t realise I had taken a step back till I bumped into someone behind me. For the first time in my life, I was afraid of Tyler, he looked like he wanted to hurt me.

“Tyler!” Our Alpha bellowed and Tyler turned to face his father.

“I’m tired of you giving me stupid orders, father. I challenge you to a duel right now, it’s my time to lead.” Tyler growled.

Everyone was paralyzed with shock. An Alpha challenge was a fight to the death.

“No!” It was Tyler’s mum that spoke after several seconds of tense silence.

No matter the outcome, she would lose someone, her mate or her son. An Alpha challenge could not be rescinded, we all knew the rules. She screamed as Tyler and his father lunged at each other, transforming to their wolves in mid air before they clashed. Everyone stepped back to give them room to battle.

“This is all your fault.” Pain splintered up my arm as Chantel grabbed it and dug her nails into it.

“Everything is your fault and if Tyler dies, I will kill you too.”

“Let me go, Chantel.” I said weakly.

I couldn’t even meet her eyes, Tyler was right, I was weak, so weak.

She let me go and I went to find my parents among the crowd. I needed the comfort of my mother’s arms. As I walked, I was sneered at by different pack members. Some were bold enough to shove me, and others openly blamed me for the fight they were all witnessing. These were the same people that were bowing and smiling at me just a few minutes ago.

I found my mother and she embraced me but my father pulled me away from her.

“Don’t coddle her. She failed.” He said with a sneer.

“Papa, it wasn’t my fault, I…”

“Whose fault is it then? Mine? If only you had listened to me and got him to mate with you long ago, all this wouldn’t have happened. You’re useless. Leave here, you disgust me.”

I didn’t wait to watch the fight to the end, I ran. Tears streamed down my face and I stumbled so many times, even fell and scraped my knees once but I didn’t stop running. All I heard was Tyler’s voice, my father’s voice, telling me how worthless I am, how weak, how useless. I fell again when I got to the pack boundary, my whole body ached and my wolf form took over to save me from dying of exhaustion.

I howled to the full moon with every bit of pain in my heart, then I left my pack. There was nothing there for me anymore.

I was too distracted to notice the flare of light that moved from my body to the ground, or the rumble deep in the earth that seemed to be calling out to me, and the foreboding presence that reached out but was too far to touch me... for now