“YES.” Julia shrieked and my stomach churned. Julia shared the news happily but the churn in my stomach did not stop. How am I to tell Connor I’m pregnant? How do I break the news of him being a father to him? I want this baby, but does he want it just as much as I do? Questions kept running through my mind, unanswered questions. What do I do? Was the last ultimate question I’d asked myself. “You’re going to tell him right? Why are you crying?” Julia asked and it was then I knew I was crying. “Don’t you want the baby?” Julia asked and I was still silent. “Just, whatever decision you choose to make, I’m gonna support you through it. Okay?” Julia finally finished and I eventually got the courage to look at her. “I want the baby.” I said, I know that for sure. “I mean, you don’t have unprotected sex and not be ready for what comes out of it.” I said as I smiled. “But, does he though? Does he want it just as much as I do?” I asked, looking at Julia with teary eyes and she only
**CONNOR** Alannah turned to continue the movie but I just couldn’t concentrate, I looked over at Adrian and I think he felt the same way, he was eating his nails, an act he does whenever he is anxious, scared or worried. Will my dad really go this far? I was asking myself, I knew he wouldn’t stop but I wasn’t expecting that he’d go this far, I’m more worried about my friends, they’re in danger now because of me. I pinched the bridge of my nose now, I’m really stressed. “Should we get to our room?” Alannah asked and I was grateful, I just want to coil up with her in bed. I nodded and we said goodnight to Adrian and Julia. We got to our room and prepared to sleep, I laid, Alannah did too, she laid on my chest and I just kept stroking her hair as I always did while she kept tracing whatever it was she was tracing on my chest. She looked like she had something to say too but I didn’t want to disturb her or pressure her too much, she would let it out eventually. The th
The ring from my phone woke me up from my deep slumber, I opened my eyes to see that it was already bright, Alannah wasn’t in the room. “How long have I slept for?” I asked myself, squinting and scanning the room, I found my phone. “Hello.” I said into the phone, I’ve been receiving more calls than usual these past few days, I waited for a response but there was none. “Hello?” I said again and this time, I heard what sounded like muffled noises, opening my eyes widely. “Hello.” I called and this time, I was already frustrated. “Okay, sorry about that. I was, uhm, busy. With something.” The voice said, it sounded familiar, it was the same voice that had spoken with me yesterday. “What do you want?” I asked as I groaned. “Actually, I don’t want anything, I really just wanted to pass an information.” The voice said, clearly testing my patience and trying to see how much longer I can hold on for. I kept quiet, said nothing and waited for “anonymous” to speak. “But be
**ALANNAH** “They were what?” I screamed, terrified. “Kidnapped.” Connor replied “But, they’re fine now, thanks to Uncle Matt.” Connor smiled and all of us let out a breath of relief. Connor was smiling and happy they’re safe but I am more terrified now, Connor’s dad would go too far to get Connor to step down and hand Ace over to him, “what is it about Ace anyway?” I thought to myself. “Who am I kidding? Ace is the biggest name in America, so of course it’s a really big deal” I shrugged. I’ve thought about telling Connor about my Uncle and my pregnancy, but with everything going on, I probably won’t. “Alannah, they’re fine now and under protection. You don’t need to worry.” Connor said, placing his hands on my shoulder, he probably saw that I was worried and he thought of clearing it. “I know.” I whispered and closed my eyes. “There’s something I need to tell you Connor.” I opened my eyes and turn to look at him. “Okay? What is it?” Connor laughed as he f
**CONNOR** “We’re not really different from each other.” The words of my father kept replaying in my head. What if he was right? There’s no what ifs, he’s right. We’re not different from each other, I had just hit and pushed Alannah, she could’ve been badly hurt but fortunately, she isn’t. I dug my hand in my pocket as I let those thoughts run through my mind, removing my hand with a pack of cigarettes, I took one and lit it before taking a puff. Why did he have to come to where we are? Why does he always have to show up? Just why? I kept asking myself questions as I walk around the yard absentmindedly. I might not have an answers to all of my questions but I knew one thing, I knew I was done running, running away from him and hiding from him. I am going to face him now and let him know I’m not that little boy he’s always thought me to be. I can stand up not just for myself but for everyone around me, including Alannah. Remembering Alannah, I knew she probably see me
**ALANNAH** “Connor?” I called and like he wasn’t expecting me to have found him, Connor stood up immediately he heard my voice and he turned to look at me, he looked broken and sorry and I only smiled, he looked so handsome and I just love this man despite everything, I knew he would never hurt me on purpose, he felt bad for pushing me, hence the reason he couldn’t bear to look me in the eye. He stood there, not taking a step or even making any effort to move close to me. “Hi.” I said and smiled again and this time he smiled back. “Hey.” He said like a little boy before looking down at his feet and making some tapping noise with his feet. “I will kill you if I hear that sound again.” I threatened jokingly and he lifted his head to look at me, he smiled. I went close to him and just hugged him, that was the only way I could let him know I love him and I’d stay with him through everything, he shouldn’t worry about me leaving because I’d never. He’s the father
“No more secrets? Did I just agree to no more secrets? There’s more but how do I tell him? He already thinks he’s an horrible person and now telling him he should be expecting a baby would be, I don’t know. Lately, I really don’t know much.” I started thinking to myself as I placed my head on Connor’s shoulder and closed my eyes. My stomach growled and I opened my eyes at the sound of Connor’s laughter. “You’re hungry?” Connor asked laughing and unable to deny that fact, I nodded my head. Truth is I’ve been really hungry lately and not just hungry, I’ve been craving for a lot of things and I have no idea how long I could hide that I’m pregnant. I really want to tell him, watching him smile and stare at me so lovingly in hopes that I’m not hiding anything from him makes me want to puke. I just want to let it all out, but I’m worried about his reaction, I want him to be happy when he knows and clearly the reaction I’m looking for is not one I would be getting anytime soon, so fo
We ate the rest of our dinner in silence and when we finished Connor and I decided to just go to bed immediately. “Are you really Okay.”’he asked, still worried about the previous incident. “Yes. How many times do I have to tell you I’m fine.” I said as I smiled at him, really, I’m not fine, I want to press further for answers and although I knew he isn’t ready because he doesn’t think he’ll make a good dad, I wanted him to still tell me why he thinks so, that way I’ll be able to tell him being a father isn’t something that comes with a manual, I need to have a talk with Connor. “You just seem sick but I’m glad you’re fine now.” He said and kissed my forehead. “Let’s go shower.” He suggested and I agreed, I’ve been breaking a lot of sweat lately, plus, I just want to feel the cold water on my body. I nodded in agreement as I started pulling off my clothes. Connor had gone to the bathroom to run our bath while I pulled of my clothes. “How long will it take you to get