**CONNOR** “We’re not really different from each other.” The words of my father kept replaying in my head. What if he was right? There’s no what ifs, he’s right. We’re not different from each other, I had just hit and pushed Alannah, she could’ve been badly hurt but fortunately, she isn’t. I dug my hand in my pocket as I let those thoughts run through my mind, removing my hand with a pack of cigarettes, I took one and lit it before taking a puff. Why did he have to come to where we are? Why does he always have to show up? Just why? I kept asking myself questions as I walk around the yard absentmindedly. I might not have an answers to all of my questions but I knew one thing, I knew I was done running, running away from him and hiding from him. I am going to face him now and let him know I’m not that little boy he’s always thought me to be. I can stand up not just for myself but for everyone around me, including Alannah. Remembering Alannah, I knew she probably see me
**ALANNAH** “Connor?” I called and like he wasn’t expecting me to have found him, Connor stood up immediately he heard my voice and he turned to look at me, he looked broken and sorry and I only smiled, he looked so handsome and I just love this man despite everything, I knew he would never hurt me on purpose, he felt bad for pushing me, hence the reason he couldn’t bear to look me in the eye. He stood there, not taking a step or even making any effort to move close to me. “Hi.” I said and smiled again and this time he smiled back. “Hey.” He said like a little boy before looking down at his feet and making some tapping noise with his feet. “I will kill you if I hear that sound again.” I threatened jokingly and he lifted his head to look at me, he smiled. I went close to him and just hugged him, that was the only way I could let him know I love him and I’d stay with him through everything, he shouldn’t worry about me leaving because I’d never. He’s the father
“No more secrets? Did I just agree to no more secrets? There’s more but how do I tell him? He already thinks he’s an horrible person and now telling him he should be expecting a baby would be, I don’t know. Lately, I really don’t know much.” I started thinking to myself as I placed my head on Connor’s shoulder and closed my eyes. My stomach growled and I opened my eyes at the sound of Connor’s laughter. “You’re hungry?” Connor asked laughing and unable to deny that fact, I nodded my head. Truth is I’ve been really hungry lately and not just hungry, I’ve been craving for a lot of things and I have no idea how long I could hide that I’m pregnant. I really want to tell him, watching him smile and stare at me so lovingly in hopes that I’m not hiding anything from him makes me want to puke. I just want to let it all out, but I’m worried about his reaction, I want him to be happy when he knows and clearly the reaction I’m looking for is not one I would be getting anytime soon, so fo
We ate the rest of our dinner in silence and when we finished Connor and I decided to just go to bed immediately. “Are you really Okay.”’he asked, still worried about the previous incident. “Yes. How many times do I have to tell you I’m fine.” I said as I smiled at him, really, I’m not fine, I want to press further for answers and although I knew he isn’t ready because he doesn’t think he’ll make a good dad, I wanted him to still tell me why he thinks so, that way I’ll be able to tell him being a father isn’t something that comes with a manual, I need to have a talk with Connor. “You just seem sick but I’m glad you’re fine now.” He said and kissed my forehead. “Let’s go shower.” He suggested and I agreed, I’ve been breaking a lot of sweat lately, plus, I just want to feel the cold water on my body. I nodded in agreement as I started pulling off my clothes. Connor had gone to the bathroom to run our bath while I pulled of my clothes. “How long will it take you to get
I adjusted to his embrace and we both spoke for a while, the answer he had given me about him also wanting to be a father gave me the assurance I needed, it’s not so bad after all, he wants a baby just as much as I do but probably not just yet, I could wait and even the baby bump could wait a while before it starts protruding. I rubbed my belly and accompanied Connor’s palm to my belly also, I smiled when he gave it a slight rub, unknown to him that he was rubbing his future child. “I’ll really love to drop a seed and watch it germinate inside you, really.” Connor said as he kept rubbing my stomach and that act made me smile. “Soon. Since you want it.” I said. “I want it.” He answered and shifted a little, not long after, I heard slight snores and knew he was asleep already. I’d slept in the afternoon hence the reason I haven’t fallen asleep yet. “I’ll tell him about it soon.” I thought as I yawned, boredom is beginning to draw me in and I knew I’d fall asleep really
“Oh Now I don’t know how to count?” My uncle screamed and before I could say Jack, he slapped me. “This is supposed to be Ten.” He said again, I had no idea, I had only wanted to leave that place in a hurry, I tried to explain to him but he didn’t listen until Sean stepped up. “Come on now, She’s new. Don’t blame her.” Sean said, standing in front of me and my uncle calmed. “You’re right. Get the son of a bitch that she delivered to over here.” He said to the other guys and they scurried off immediately, my uncle also left the room, leaving just I and Sean. “I’m sorry about that.” Sean said, pulling me up and dusting my body for me. “It’s fine.” I said, the slap still stung and I just walked back to my room. “Worst birthday ever.” I said to myself as I winced, my cheek burns as a result of the slap and I placed a cold towel on it, walking to the mirror I checked my cheek and it was red, I kept massaging with the cold towel when I heard a knock on the door, the d
It’s been a year of selling drugs for Uncle Eddie, doing a little and getting in trouble here and there. I wanted to stop, I needed to. “What you gonna do now?” Sean asked me. “I don’t know.... maybe after delivering this, just tell him I’m done.” I answered. “Do you think he’d listen? I mean if it were that easy, I would’ve been out by now.” Sean said puffing his cigarette. “Yeah. I know.” I answered as I face palmed myself. “But, I’m his niece and I’m 19. I know better than to snitch on him, the least he could do is just let me go.” I sighed as I thought about leaving the drug business and the cons, Sean was right, My uncle doesn’t seem like one who would take things easy with me regardless of the fact that I’m his niece. “Let’s see how it goes.” Sean said and I nodded. “What are you doing?” He asked as he walked towards me. “Studying. It’s Algebra and it’s.......” I started saying. “You lost me at Studying, bro. I’m bouncing.” Sean coughed and we both la
We got home, I and my uncle got out of the car, leaving the guy who’d came with him to drive it to the garage. Making our way inside without talking. “I need to talk to you, Uncle.” I said without being scared, I didn’t stutter or fumble my words as I said it. “What’s that honey?” He asked still smiling. “I want to quit. I’m done.” I said in a serious way which made my uncle only laugh at me. “Oh. You’re so funny.” He said while still laughing and he stopped abruptly and took a close look at me. “Wait. You’re serious?” He asked with a stern look and somehow I got scared. “Y... Yes.. I am.” I answered with my shaky voice, I looked down at my shoes because I couldn’t look at his face. “What Do You Mean?!” He yelled and this time his eyes were red. “Uncle please. I just... I want a life, I want to get to live like a normal teenager, please Uncle.” I said with my voice shaky, I was crying now. “You could leave. You can quit, I have no problem with that.” Uncle