Chapter 1

Sanctus. It appears to be amazingly simple as it slips from your tongue, when you voice the letters and form a word, and yet, it was much more than that, each letter forming a story. A life. It was a name, one that screamed with promise, with a bright and prosperous future. It was my name, the one that I was given on the day of my birth, a name fit for someone of my standing; one that radiated elegance. My father, the king had chosen it from many others; from thousands of possibilities that loomed. Though I scarcely think of what I could have been called and smile upon the one he had chosen, the one he believed suited his youngest child; that fit his daughter like a saddle on a horse. In the old tongue of our language, the word directly translated into ‘pure’ someone who believes in doing no wrong, a person that will do anything to avoid injuring another. I smiled at the thought, but my heart sank, my name would always mean pure. But I would not remain that way forever, one day I would have to follow in the footsteps of my bloodline, fight in the endless wars that plagued my home. I could never remain innocent like the small animals that scurried across the land, knowing nothing of greed nor selfish intentions; but only to protect their families and survive the harshening climate. 

My mother had died only a few days after I was born, proving that no love is stronger than a maternal bond as she sacrificed her own life to bring me into the world; giving me a chance at life. At being my own person. Though, without a mother to raise me, my questions grow, ones that I cannot ask my father. That only a woman could answer. My sisters told me of how she was a strong and prominent woman, unlike many of our society as the men ruled over the lands; leaving the females to observe silently from the shadows. Though that was not the woman who gave birth to me, not the one that my father grew to love with all his heart; all of his soul. She was perfect, the ideal role model for a princess of my age. Yet, it would never come to be, I would never know her for who she had been and she would never come to know the child that she gave her life for. Perhaps she watched me from her place among the stars, but I was not hopeful of such things. Yes, I believed that our people moved on to live with the gods in the sky, but what good would that do? My mother would never be able to communicate with me, scorn me on my misdeeds or sooth me when I injure myself. No, I would not have a mother like my siblings had; only the memories that they share telling me of her and how much she loved her people, her family.

I sighed, stretching as I turned over in my large canopy bed, the delicate cherry wood hand crafted by the best sculptures in the city, each of the four posts telling a story; the pictures carved into them soothing me when no one else could. When I missed my mother with all of my heart; one carved into an elegant woman who held her child close to her breast, protecting her child against the cold and cruel world. Must be nice, - I thought absently – to have someone to protect you; to have a mother. My father did his best for me, but he was never around, the many continuous roles that a king played often keeping him from being a father; from being there for his children. Instead, he assigned me a guardian, an ex soldier and one of my father’s closest companions. It was not the same as having my father with me, to hug him and hear of his day; but Derrick had become something similar to me, a father in every meaning of the word. Someone who took care of me and held my best interests at heart. He was a valiant and strong willed man, one who was not afraid to scorn me when I disobeyed the rules or stepped out from my place as the princess. 

Though that was the thing, being a princess was not what the citizens of the kingdom would believe. It was not about how elegant I had to be, or how I must speak in the presence of my father’s closest comrades and members of his court; the ones who were permitted more time with him that I myself could imagine. No, it was about being a silent witness, someone who stood in the background waiting for the day that she would aid the kingdom in the way that she was born to do. Trained from birth to become the perfect wife, to dote on who my father would choose for me; to stay in his shadow and never be disruptive.

I laughed slightly at the thought, knowing that in the comfort of my own chamber, I was safe to do as I please; at least without the scrutiny of my guardian. But the people truly had no idea of what it meant to be a princess, of what it meant to be me; the world a small and simple place from where I stood. A world I would never experience like my brothers, a woman after all had no need to travel the world, to explore the lands beyond her home; that was not what civilization wanted of us. For if we travelled, met new people and learned of far off places; then perhaps we would not wish to return. Perhaps I would find something better, a future that I would choose for myself. 

But that was never to happen, my destiny already written by the gods from the moment I gave my first breath, I would grow in elegance and beauty like my sisters before me; silently waiting for the day I would leave home. For the day my father decided it was time for me to marry. Until then, I would be a second class citizen as all females of our kingdom were; someone who would not argue with the rule of men. But isn’t that what is wrong with the world? What needs to be changed? Men only concentrate on war, while women create life. Is that the cycle of things? I create a son so that one day he will leave to fight and kill the sons that other women create? An endless road that always leads to a grieving mother, a heartbroken wife and children without a father to raise them. 

I did not understand war, nor do I believe that I ever will. It was a brutish and putrid thing that destroyed homes, left whole kingdoms in ruin and people with no place left to call home. The only thing I had learnt of war was that no one would remain pure, that the good people in this world often lose their lives to protect what they love; what they believe. That the evil people in the world are those who create war, those who fight just so that they can control a piece of land; so that they can conquer and kill those who do not agree with their way of life. My father had avoided it for years, but no one can run forever and war had eventually come to our kingdom, the demonic creatures who survive on the blood of the living seeing our home as a beacon for them. A place that they could call their own, once they killed us all that is. I had never heard of vampires before they had come to the borders of our kingdom, before the dragons of the north had pushed them from their hiding places within the mountains. But why our home? Why could the vampires not fight to obtain the land that they had lost instead of fighting so hard to take the one that my father would risk everything to protect; to ensure that his people lived. My people. 

I shook off the thought, turning over in the large bed as I attempted to return to my slumber, only I knew that sleep would not catch me as of yet. The day had begun almost an hour prior to me waking, but I did not move from my place, deciding that today, with no duties or lessons; I would remain in my chamber. Refuse to dress as I must every day, the smile that plays across my lips mostly always forced. 

Yes, I complained about my life, always. But truthfully, I wouldn’t change a thing. I had a loving family, with many sisters and nine brothers; though one had not yet reached maturity, as much as he may think so. They were mine, a link to happiness and what life could be without the war. It may seem childish to believe in times of peace when the kingdom had always seen war, lived it, breathed it; every child for generations born into the fighting. The men moulded from birth to become a part of the great battalions, the army that other kingdoms cowered against; surrendering to a superior force. This is how we won most of our battles, by sending fear into the hearts of those who would invade my father’s land. The victories seemed wrong somehow; like we hadn’t earned them. But who was I to question it? I was just the princess, somehow who watched from the shadows, I didn’t understand the rules of war nor was I supposed to; that was a job for the men. Their calling while the women made more soldiers, birthed more troops for the ongoing war. 

I flipped onto my back, groaning in annoyance as sleep never returned to me; my thoughts once again moving to complain about how things were. Why couldn’t I just accept life as it was like my sisters had? They always smiled and greeted people with open arms, holding themselves as women of the court should. But that was not me, not what I could force myself to appear. I was different from them and I knew why, a strange power coursing through my blood; one with great and destructive power. Yet, I had sworn never to use it against anyone, my curse deadly and that of a demon; the people cowering at my presence in the city. Why had the gods chosen me to harbour such a gift, one that could destroy all those around me if I were not careful? 

My father often spoke to me of what I could do, of my cursed abilities that made me different from the others of our bloodline. On the night I was born, my name was written across the stars; the prophets from all corners of the kingdom speaking my name at once, paving my path in this world. And yet, I felt no different from anyone else, only, I could do things other of my family could not. The prophets spoke of how I would grow into a strong woman, of how my abilities will aid me in the struggles of life, vile or not; they were mine. However, I saw nothing good in what I could do, in what I was capable of doing. I could bend and mould the very fibre of a person, stripping away their years as I killed them slowly. How could that be good? – I questioned myself harshly – I could be seen as a demon, a witch. If it was not for my father, would I have been burnt at the stake? Killed brutally by fire like all those before me.

But I couldn’t blame them; after all, I could murder someone with a single thought, a single touch of my hand. That made me despicable, a disgrace to my bloodline. To my people. And yet, with all that was wrong with me, impure and vile; Mother Nature appeared to favour my abilities, giving me the power to communicate and mould the world around me. So that whenever I took a life, (by accident of course, I would never intentionally take another life without cause or reason) I could create a new one, a pure and innocent animal or plant that would grow strong and resilient to all people threw at them. As though I could create a new species, one much stronger than the last. But was that worth a life? Could I really take a life just to replace it with something better? No, I couldn’t,that only made me as bad as the vampires, turning mortals into their kind, so that they were no longer human; but something better. With the strength of a bear and the speed of a galloping horse, something that no longer made them what they were born to be. 

I pushed myself to a seated position with a smile, laughing slightly as a new thought entered my mind, I could become something corrupt with power and hate like the vampires, something that craved blood. But, I could also become someone good, someone that the people and my father would be proud of, who would fight for what she believed in, for her home. To protect the innocence in the land and rid it of the evil. Could I fight as my brothers did, become someone that the army would need? Kill those who fought to destroy my father’s kingdom, our home. 

Yes. – I smiled inwardly as I tucked a loose strand of my coppery hair behind my ears, pride swelling in my chest – I could become more than just another wife, I could be a warrior, go with the soldiers into battle and stand proud beside my father.

Surely while doing so I could still remain good, as pure hearted as I had began. After all, Mother Nature shunned the immortal creatures, removing them from the stars so that when they were destroyed their only place in the universe would be with the demonic beings of hell. Something black and dark with no soul, no place among the gods.