1~ Renounced

DELIA

'Marry in the month of May, you will surely rue the day.' Those words rang in my head as I stared absentmindedly at the glorious standing golden spiraled mirror in front of me. Those were the words of my mother who was against the idea of me getting married at twenty-two. And I was pretty sure she wasn't going to attend the ceremony either. Why couldn't she just be happy with my decision? 

My sisters, Eva and Kiki were beside me together with some of my friends. It was my wedding day and somehow, I didn't feel ecstatic about it. I mean, I was supposed to be the happiest girl on earth, this was all I ever wanted, but everything just didn't seem right. I was worried for a reason I couldn't place my fingers on. 

The clicking sound of a camera tugged me out of my thoughts and a smile immediately formed on my lips. It was my day, I deserved to be happy and stop worrying about what is yet to come but rather, live in the present. 

"I didn't know you could be so pretty..." My youngest sister, Kiki, gushed over me. She sounded more sarcastic when I thought about it for a second time. I looked into the mirror to get a clearer view of my face. 

Was it really me? Or was I seeing the reflection of someone else? The makeup artiste, one of my girlfriends, had transformed my face to look more beautiful and she was still adding a few touches to my face. 

"You look beautiful, girlfriend." One of my friends commented and my lips thinned into a small smile. I felt satisfied with my looks and hoped 'he' would be pleased too. 

"Thank you." I appreciated with my sweetest tone ever. 

While they were busy discussing how stunned my husband-to-be would be after seeing me in my white flowery gown, the door opened abruptly and we all turned to the intruder. The person turned out to be Devin, my groom's twin brother. He had quick a horrified look on his face as he stared at me. 

"What is it, Devin?" I asked and stood up. Maybe he needed something? That came out more like a question. I wasn't so sure. He didn't say anything till I got to where he was standing. The girls were arranging the train of my ball gown but I cared less about that as my focus was on Devin. 

"Talk to me, Devin." I tried my best to keep calm. All this was just in my head and I was letting it get the best of me. 

"The car got spoilt on the way." He replied and it was as though a heavy load was boarded off my chest. I was finally able to breathe fine and shot the guy a glare for scaring me like that. 

"Why didn't you say so earlier? You had me worried sick." I hit his shoulder a little before going back to my dressing table. I was about to sit down when he spoke again. 

"There is one more thing." He spoke, throwing the once noise-filled room into dead silence. I halted in my position as I waited for him to speak. 

There was something else he wasn't telling me. Maybe he was finding it difficult to say it. I waited, seconds went by like hours, I was losing my cool, and he still wasn't saying anything. My crystal blue eyes met with his lapis ones and he turned them away, his mouth quivering and his fists clenched. 

I removed my shoes and walk briskly toward him. 

"Where is he?" It came out more as a painful whisper. I didn't want to believe it too. 

I grabbed his shirt collar and screamed, "Where is your brother?" My friends rushed to his aid and pulled me away from him. He still didn't look at me, he never did. 

Water works like a river rushed down my blushed cheeks, my tears ruining the perfect makeup. He was gone and I knew it. But...

"Where is he, Devin? Talk to me!" I yelled and he sighed. 

"Nobody knows. He suddenly disappeared after the car broke down and we think he had a hand in the breakdown of the car." Devin explained. My throat tightened, and my breathing hitched. A cold sensation ran down my spine. I didn't know what to think or do, so I ran out of the room, pushing Devin aside. I was going to find my husband, no matter how long it would take me. As I ran, I heard my friends and sisters screaming my name, probably chasing after me but I shut them out. I needed to find my husband. All wouldn't be well with me without him. 

I received weird stares from people as I ran but what did I care? Bruce was more important than they ever will. I ran to his house and almost pulled down the gate with my abrasive knocking. The angry gatekeeper grumbled till he opened the gate but his anger disappeared when he saw me. 

"Where is he?" I yelled as I barged in, holding my gown in order to walk freely. It was heavy and I was still wondering how I ran so fast in it. I didn't wait for him to reply before charging toward the house. I tried to open the door but to no avail. The sky was beginning to get cloudy and I felt it would rain very soon. I knocked with a heavy heart for what seemed like hours before I felt a hand pull me away from the door. It was Devin. 

"Bruce..." I cried in Devin's arms. The rain had begun falling and was wetting our clothes as there was no shield in the front door. 

"Please, bring him back." I dropped slowly to the ground, wailing as though someone had died. 

"Stop it, Delia. He doesn't deserve your precious tears. He's an arsehole and that's all he'll ever be." Devin screamed under the rain. I was beginning to shiver due to the cold. I felt him lift me in bridal style; the style I had always wanted Bruce to carry me on our special day. His giant build moved slowly with my petite body in his arms and slowly, my mind drifted off into oblivion. 

***

I woke up with a banging headache and a fever. As I recalled everything that had happened, I busted into fresh tears. I knew it would take time for my wounds to heal; I loved him, so very much. And yet, he did that to me. He left me on our wedding day, without notice or even a slight sign.

Maybe I saw the sign but chose to ignore it. He had been looking down just two days to the wedding and when I had asked, he said it was nothing but a small migraine. I believed him and went about the wedding plans. 

He could have told me he didn't want to get married and I would have understood. That was what I was good at; understanding and caring for him no matter what he did. But what did I get repaid with? Getting abandoned on the D-day. Now, I had to live with the stigma of being renounced by my own husband on the supposed happiest day of our lives. 

I looked down at my body and found myself in some comfortable clothes. Good! I would have burnt the gown if I had set my eyes on it. 

I made my way out of bed and into my bathroom. I turned on the faucet, filled both palms with water, and splashed it on my face. I washed my face thoroughly to my satisfaction before looking in the mirror.

Was I never enough or was I too enough for him? What do men really want? 

I sighed dejectedly. I had to be strong for my family. Crying wouldn't solve any of our issues. No matter how much I tried to tell myself everything happened for a reason, I broke into tears again after reaching my bed. I buried my face in my pillow and wailed to my satisfaction. 

It hurt, it hurt like hell. 

I laid up straight as I stared at the rotating ceiling fan. It felt as though my heart was being ripped apart, over and over again. The feeling was something I couldn't explain, something deep that pierced my soul and my spirit.  

After what seemed like forever, I trudged out of my room and into the living room where I met my father with Devin. When they saw me, they paused whatever they were discussing. Probably the scardy cat. 

I looked at Devin and he smiled a little. He reminded me a lot of Bruce. Of course, they were twins, though not so identical but they still shared some physical features, and I was afraid I would hate him too. 

But what could I do? It was as though I was staring at my runaway husband and I felt more hurt every second I spent glancing at him.