2~ Debts, Lots of it

DELIA

I signaled for them to continue their discussion while I went to the kitchen to grab a can of water. I met my mother preparing dinner. I caught a whiff of the food and that was when I realized how hungry I was but after everything that occurred between us, I couldn't ask her for food or anything at that. 

I just walked to the fridge, opened it, snatched a can of water, and filled my stomach with its content. I exhaled and dumped the empty can. As I was about to leave the kitchen, I heard my mom speak. 

"I warned you, didn't I?" 

Seriously? That was what she had to say to me after the hugest disgrace of my life? Typical mom. 

I rolled my eyes and turned to look at her but she didn't even glance at me, she was just so focused on whatever she was doing. I noticed her shoulders moving as she chopped some fresh vegetables. Her chocolate brown hair fell over her shoulder and her slender figure stood perfectly close to the open window. She was a beauty and I got all my features from her. 

"You should at least feel sorry for me," I responded, pouting my lips. 

"I warned you already but you didn't heed it. So, why should I feel sorry for you? Besides, you knew it wasn't going to be but you chose to ignore your instincts." She dumped what she was chopping and grabbed the dishcloth, cleaning her hands with it. She turned fully to me and I could see her diamond-shaped face. She rested her body against the counter and folded her hands. 

"You wanted a marriage where the man gets to foot your family and personal bills. I, for one, think it's good he left. Your father and your sisters would have sucked him dry. What is he? A poverty eradicator?" She said bluntly. So blunt that I was overwhelmed by guilt. It was true we had lots of debts on our shoulders and we were all expecting Bruce to take care of them once we got married. 

"You didn't think about what he wanted. Rather, you were adding more to problems when you were supposed to lessen them. And--" 

"It's fine, mom. You don't have to point out all my mistakes. His leaving is already enough punishment." I said lowly, cutting her off. I was on the verge of tears and her talking would trigger them to pour down. I didn't have any knowledge about marriage and that was what she had been trying to tell me ever since but when I saw money, I cut her off completely. 

"Sit down, you look like a hungry lion." She commanded and went back to what she was doing. I ambled to the dining room and took a seat. I stared at Devin and my father, they were still discussing. My father looked angry and Devin looked like he was trying to calm him down. 

I sighed and bent my head against the table. I wondered why Devin was still there. He clearly had no reason since we were bound to cut ties because of what happened. 

A whiff of waffles and chicken hit my nose and I began salivating. I raised my head and saw a covered plate on a tray right beside me with my mother by my side. 

"Thank you." I pulled the tray to my front and began to eat. Even though I was very hungry, I didn't rush the food. Somehow, I didn't want to eat again but I just had to. My mother gave me the food without me asking for it and rejecting it at the last minute would make me look ungrateful. 

I noticed Devin walk out of the house with both hands in his pockets and his head bent.

I wonder what he discussed with my father that made the ever cheerful Devin look so gloomy. 

"I'll be back," I said to no one in particular and ran after him. He was resting against his car with his eyes closed. He reminded me so much of his brother and I hated that feeling. 

"You good?" I asked and he opened his eyes. He shot me a charming smile and removed his hands from his pockets. 

"Yeah," He ran his fingers through his hair, throwing his brown hair into a shabby state. He wasn't looking at me and surely didn't intend to until he left. Maybe he knew what his presence did to me. 

"Where are you going now?" I asked, my eyes focused on him. 

"Home. Maybe I'll find Bruce there and punch his stupidly handsome face and maybe kick his arse for leaving a wonderful woman like you." He said. We both shared a brief round of laughter before returning to the tense atmosphere. 

"What are you going to do?" He asked. He was now looking intently at me. I never really thought about what next to do. Maybe go back to my old job, or get a new one, or travel with the little money I have, or...

"Never love again?" I wasn't so sure of what I was saying. Maybe that was the truth, maybe that was what I was going to do. 

"Fair." He shook his head sideways. "But only for now. If you see someone, don't hesitate, okay?" He patted my shoulder and I  nodded. 

"Good." He breathed in some air as he checked his watch. "I'll be leaving now. I'll see you when next I'm visiting." He said, turning to the driver's door. I nodded and after staring at me for a while, he headed in and sped off. I watched his car until it disappeared from my sight. 

~

Life without Bruce seemed harder than before. To my family, he was like a savior who dished out money like leaves on a tree, at our every beck and call. He made provisions for everything we needed; personally and family-wise. He was that light at the end of the tunnel but now, everywhere had gone dark; just like in the beginning.  

 

Devin, on the other hand, helped in every way he could. He could have done more but I stopped him. I depended on someone once and I wasn't going to do that again. I wasn't ready to get broken all over. Picking up the pieces when Bruce left was painful, I got hurt over and over again and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to glue up myself if Devin was to get tired of me and abandon me too.

My mother and I took up multiple jobs just to keep the house running. My sisters and my dad did nothing to help. Rather, they stole from us; no matter where we hid the money and would use it for their unprofitable games. To an extent, my mother and I stopped taking money home. When they didn't see any, they would threaten to bring the entire place down but they were all they were; words. 

My mother and I became best of friends. The crisis brought us closer, we were friendlier with each other, argued less, and worked more together. Our love for each other waxed stronger by the day and at the end of every day, we confided in each other. It was a relationship I had never had. 

I woke up earlier that morning to the sound of our front door being banged hard. I turned angrily on my bed but I didn't get up. I had a tiring night at work trying to sell con.doms to late-night workers and one unreasonable person was at the door as early as 6 am, ranting like a mad dog. 

When the rambling got louder, I rolled out of my bed with the sheets covering all parts of my cold body. I rampaged through the narrow hallway and into the living room where all the drama was happening. Everyone was present except my dad. 

"What's going on here?" I screamed, ignoring the gigantic men that stood at the entrance. "I am trying to get some sleep and you all are disturbing me. Take your business outside and leave others out of it." 

My sisters signaled for me to keep quiet but what did I care? I was entitled to privacy and wouldn't let anybody, not even my mom, breach that. 

"They owe us money," Came a raspy voice from one of the men and he was referring to my sisters by the way he pointed at them. "Two thousand dollars and if we come here in the next month and it's not ready, we won't be ruining just your sleep." He spat in the living room and left. 

"Eww..." Eve scrunched her face and ran to the dining area. The whole family gathered there and I was the last to reach. I looked critically at my sisters before releasing a depressed sigh. 

"What were you thinking? Two thousand dollars? How, Eva, how?" My voice came out as cracked and broken. The pains were so bottled up. 

"Here we are, trying to run the house with the little money we earn and you put us into debt? Why aren't you considerate? You keep running into debts when you don't even lift a finger to do anything. Why are you causing so much trouble?" My eyes were watery and trying to hold them would only break me. 

"You know what? You will take care of it this time." I said firmly and began to walk away. They trailed behind me, begging me not to leave them alone but I paid no attention to them. 

When I got to my room door, I entered inside and banged the door, not minding if any of them got hurt in the process. I rested my back against the door and slide down slowly and hopelessly, letting my packed-up tears fall freely unto the sheets. 

Where was I going to get such an amount from?