sorry, everyone. I'm trying to update as quickly as possible. I do hope you enjoy the chapter <3
The house is dead quiet as it’s always been since it’s moved here. I’ve awoken to a soaked bed, my shirt ripped at the edges as if I was fighting myself and sheet askew. It’s a nightmare. Just another one, I remind myself. I can see myself in the darkness, at least I think it’s myself, either the monster I will become or the man I once was. I’m not sure anymore. The silhouettes around me are faceless, the claws extending from the hands bloodied. I can’t stand on two legs while in my wolf form, so that monster shouldn’t be me. Yet I can’t fight the feeling that it isn’t. There’s a circle of flames around me, dead people everywhere, it boiling hot like a geyser, spreading left and right yet I walk between the flames. Only a monster can do that, can’t they? Walk in flames.It’s terrifying. I haven’t had dreams in years and yet when I do close my eyes, that’s the only thing I see behind my eyelids. Now I’m too petrified to even want to sleep. I can’t escape what I become during the day, an
I haven't sat down with my parents in ages. We never talked about boys, about my plans for the future. Our estranged relationship has never felt strenuous until now. "It's going to be fine," Rider tells me, gripping my arm. He's attempting to reassure me. To remind me I have support. He's the reason I'm so nervous, the fact I'm almost sure he won't keep it together. "I'm here." "Sure." I tell him. "We're here." My home is the same as it's always been. Evergreen towers on both end of the drive way, the pavement leading up, spick and span, grass always kept low. I'd be more surprised if a car was parked in the driveway, but as always, our home was the epitome of lonely. Rider whistles as he removes his seat belt, moving to leave the vehicle, while I climb out on my side. "It's really not that classy," I tell him a little embarrassed. "Are you kidding, the damn house alone, puts our pack house to shame." "It's my father's pride and joy." I tell him somberly. We walk towards the
What?? I'm frozen to my spot against the chair, the man man was right after all? What the hell did they just utter? I blinked rapidly, my gaze moving back and forth between my parents, before attempting a stifled chuckle. No, no, no, no, NO! this had to be a joke, it just had to. I glance at Rider, hoping to see his facade of utter seriousness fall as he tells me this was such a prank. No such luck, the truth in his eyes is all the evidence I need. I'm a hybrid. I'm a hybrid. Ragna was right, that bastard... I remove myself abruptly from my seat glancing at my parents for their betrayal. How could they do this to me? How could they keep such an important fact from me all this time? "Are you too serious?" I yelled. "Halie." My mother reaches out tentatively for me but I step away. "Don't touch me!" I snapped, pulling back my hand as if she wielded a jagged knife. "You will be respectful to your mother." Dad chastises. "Respectful, you aren't even respectful to me. You knew t
I've been waiting foolishly for Jaxon to turn up, for him to crack my window open and scare the shit out of me before apologizing. Granting me that saving grace that I was just overreacting, falling victim to my delusions. That the voices in my head were all wrong. I wanted him to save me from myself. The same self that had been ruthlessly hanging unto the delusions that there would always be an us. Stupid. Stupid Stupid. I've been waiting and waiting foolishly for something that will never come. Rider's words are still fresh in my mind, Jax is not himself. I know that, but that still doesn't make this heartache any easier. Actually, it doesn't excuse it. Does this altered personality of his also affect the way he treats others? He killed his pack mates, my mind reminds me. Yes, but... But that was different that was war-Still no excuse. Their life was not his to take. I hang my head. This was toxic. I trusted Jaxon with my heart. I trusted that he wouldn't hurt me, that whe
I hated him, I hated him so much. Yet I matter how much I scream and punched him, the bastard remains unchanged absorbing every blow. Why? Why was Jax like this? Why would he do this to me? I could only imagine Kate right now, internally laughing at my idiocracy. She was able to read me like an open book, placing all my selfish desires before me. I had failed myself coming here. Thinking I had the strength to confront him, but not thinking of how seeing and interacting with her might make me feel. I hadn't thought about whether she might be the one to confront me about my feelings towards him and her mentioning that I was only a fleeting thought, that cuts me to my core. But what did I expect? Jaxon wasn't going to make her uncomfortable on my behalf, the less of me he speaks the better. Even none at all. Hence I'm the one that's left hurting. In fact, this was all my damn fault. Placing all my eggs in one basket and hoping a rogue would do the right thing. "Moi."Jax's voice is
Dead? Someone was dead? I felt as if I was about to go crazy. This was just all too much in such a short time. First Jax made a fool of me, then his mate tried to kill me and now someone connected to them was dead? Was a somehow still in bed? This had to be a freaking nightmare! Kate shook like a leaf in a blizzard, eyes wide as if she was going into shock. I wasn't the only one at the edge of a break down and from the looks of it, this news rocked her like a massive earthquake. "Dea.... Dead?" She whispers after a few beats. "Dead what do you mean dead? ""Dead. That's what dead means. Cold and lifeless." Jax responds coldly. "How?""What do you mean Kate? I just told you. He was killed by a wolf. ""Yes, I heard you. " She retorted, now a little frustrated. "It just doesn't make sense. Why? ""That's what I'm trying to find out." He deadpans as if he thinks her stupid. Kate takes a step back from us, apprehension visible. "You think I did it?" Her eyes are stilled on Jax, my
The sun was barely above the trees and already my head felt as if it was going to be split in two. Last night I only held on to my sanity by a string. Neither Kate nor Moi understood how I wanted to bite both their heads off for no reason. Well not for no reason. I had every reason to be furious with Kate and every reason to beg Moi not to leave. But she had every right to. Last night I knew those people weren’t hunters. I knew they probably wouldn’t have hurt her but I had to hold on to her little longer. If even just a little while. I missed her bear hugs. The small ones I used to get whenever I manage to pop up. The little way she would attempt and fail to hide her smile. The trust and absolute security that she saw me as. All of that was gone now, everything I was , was replaced by betrayal and sadness. Those were the things that bonded me to Ammoy. The fact that she saw me beyond a wolf, an Alpha. She only saw a man. Even when I lost everything, being around me didn’t faze her be
I want to cry and roll into a ball and never see the light of day again. How do people even deal with this on a regular basis? How did Halie even... I pause thinking back on all the erratic things she did concerning Sam. It all made sense now. I thought she was over reacting but men are all shitty mother truckers. Too bad I can't kick either of their asses. I should just call his parents and tell them where to find him. Better yet, call Rider. But then I would be taking away his choice to not want to be found. Ugh, I punched my bed in frustration. Why should I care? That's Kate's job now. My door flies open seconds later, my best friend standing there, hair frazzled and looking wild. "Halie? "She slams the door shut as if it needed anymore slamming, standing behind it, keeping guard. "Halie, what the hell are you doing here? "Halie proceeds to glance around our room, her eyes landing on me as if I had appeared from thin air. "I'm escaping Silver Moon." She explains her voice l