Chapter 6.

I wake up on an overly comfortable bed and realize that it was not my bed, and it was not my home. My eyes shoot open in fear that he has found me, and I look around to see Joel and Kendra sleeping on one of the chairs and Stewart on the other side.

Then the memories of last night comes running back to my head and I realize “they know my secret” they know about my panic attacks and maybe Joel finally knows about my family. I close my eyes hoping I could reset the night and change the question that landed me in this hospital bed, but of course, my brain decides to do the opposite. To remind me of the exact reactions of everybody, and I sit up.

I decide to take a picture of my new family, as seeing them wanting to be there for me just fills my heart with warmth and love.

The doctor walks in and the sound of the door disrupts everyone's sleep and I could see the excitement in Kendra's eyes that said, "you didn't give up on me” and I smile back at her.

The doctor walks over to me saying “Good morning” I reply to him and he goes further to tell my friends to excuse us as he needs to address me privately and Joel mouths “You're okay” and smiles before he leaves.

“How often do you have these panic attacks?” He asks me.

“It started recently, like a few days ago”

“Do you have a record of any traumatic event, or do you know what caused them?”

I hesitate, and the doctor tells me I could take my time. And after a few pauses, I decide to tell him.

“I received a call from my abusive dad after years of thinking he was not going to find me, and it just brought back memories of my past”

“Okay I'm sorry to hear that, but I think you would need to go for therapy to help you deal with these feelings”

“I can't afford therapy, I'll be just fine, I promise”

“I'm going to take your word on that and prescribe some medications to help relieve you of frequent panics” and I just nod.

He leaves, and my friends walk back into the room, they all ask how I'm doing, and I feel bad for making them worry so much.

“You're lucky you didn't give up on me” Kendra giggles

“Of course I can't give up on you” I smile at her as she hugs me.

Stewart walks up to me and apologizes for the question.

“It's okay, Stewart, it's not your fault. There's no way you would have known, and I didn't know the question was going to prompt a panic attack”

“Be good” is all he says and gives me a warm smile.

The doctor walks in with some medications and explains how I should take them, and I promised him I'll adhere before he discharges me from the hospital.

The ride back home is fun as we're all vibing to music. Apparently, we all have similar genres of music.

We get home and Kendra decides to call in sick, so she could stay with me since it was the least she could do, while Joel and Stewart promised to come back later in the day because they had to be in a business meeting.

Kendra and I microwaved the leftover pizza and decided to eat if for breakfast, and it turns out that microwaved pizza is actually pretty good.

“Kendra may I ask you something?” I ask her.

“Anything girlie, what's up?” She replies.

“Do you think it would be a good idea to get over this thing with my dad. To just call him and figure out why he's trying to reach out to me after all these years. I mean, nothing could possibly go wrong since I'm around you guys”

“Anastasia, that is not my decision to make, it's solely yours, and I'll stick to whatever you decide to do”

“Okay then let's get this over with. I can't keep letting him affect my now” and I can feel Kendra smiling at my sudden courage.

“Wait now?" Kendra asks immediately I carry my phone.

“Yea now, I'm afraid if I take moments I'll become scared again and if I become scared once more then the panic attacks would become frequent”

“Okay then let's do it”

I call the number my dad called me with the other time, it rings, he picks up and I put it on loudspeaker. Kendra holds my hands to tell me that I'm not alone in the world.

“Anastasia Michael, I knew you would not neglect your father” He says, sounding weakly over the phone

“Mr. Michael, what do you want from me” I say, sounding sterner than I expected I would

“Your forgiveness my daughter” his weak voice says

“You killed my mom” I say, trying to stop the tears from being evident in my voice and Kendra squeezes my palm to remind me I needed to be strong.

“I know and that's why I've decided to turn myself in. I found your number and I called you. I need you to forgive me, please. So I know that if I end up dying. I would die with your forgiveness” he sobs from the phone.

“Where are you?” I ask surprising myself.

“The Eliando Hospital… I went there for check up… Please come and see your dying father” he replies.

The Eliando hospital was just an hour drive from where I lived, and I decided I would be there and I ended the call.

I hug Kendra and sob uncontrollably into her chest as she hugs me back and whispers “you see girl, you did it, I'm proud of you”.

We decided to wait for the guys to arrive before we embarked on the journey to Eliando hospital because we needed a free ride.

On getting to the hospital, the guys decide to wait in the car and Kendra walks with me into the building. I ask the nurse at the reception for Mr. Michael and she shows me to the room.

Kendra holds my hands each step of the way

“You will be fine” she assures me and I give her a soft nod

“I don't mind following you into the room if you will be okay with that” she adds

“It's okay, I'll be fine” I tell her and I see her eyes begging me to be okay. “This is something I have to do alone” I say and she pulls me into a tight hug before she finally lets me go.

I walk into the small room and I look at my father sound asleep, nothing like the abusive man I knew.

“Hey dad” I say, tapping him lightly

“Anastasia” he says when he opens his eyes and pulls me into a hug

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry” he mutters into my hair as he sobs

“That's okay” I say, releasing myself from his hug and fighting back the tears

“I should have been a better father to you and a better husband to your mother, my wife” he sobs.

“I need to get going now dad. Do what is necessary and I promise to visit” I say, standing up.

“I will” he smiles and cleans the tears from his eyes “I will”

I smile at him and leave the hospital room.

I hug Kendra and she whispers “You did it girl, I know you had it in you, and you proved me right”

“I did it” I say as tears run down my cheeks and this time they were happy tears.

“I feel like I let go of what I've been holding on to for too long, maybe all I needed to do was to forgive him” I say to Kendra as we're leaving the hospital building

“I'm glad you feel that way” she smiles as we enter into the car.

The ride home is quiet, and I appreciate the quietness, for it is what I needed to process the courage I displayed and how happy it made me.