Chapter 14

Playlist~ Neyo - Mad

Fernando's POV

By 3.30pm, I was already at the airport waiting for the departure time to elapse. I'd reschedule my flight for 4pm after I missed that of 2pm, so here I am ready to return back to Madrid without completing my mission of traveling down here, all thanks to Micaela. The earlier I realized I wasn't going to get answers to my past the better for me that's why I never went back to that hospital to inform Micaela I was actually leaving. Is obviously a waste of time to go back there, I mean what's the point when I knew already that the person I'm meant to have a conversation with is not up for it at this moment?

Although it might have been unfair of me to not tell her I was leaving the city but I don't think I owe her any explanation. It was a decision I came up with at last minute while in the coffee shop. Before I had left the coffee shop, I asked my PA to reschedule my flight again which he did. Couple of minutes after I received my tickets via mail, I rushed up to the nearest boutique and did a little shopping. My clothes needed changing because the white I was putting on had few blood stains on it and you know how obvious stains could be the on whites. I didn't waste time with my shopping because I wasn't with my mom, my mom is actually the worst person to go on a shopping with, she can steal your whole day just for shopping and that really pissed me off most of the time! I had to always come up with excuses whenever she needs me to accompany her for shopping. That's by the way, I had changed my outfit to a turtle neck cream color long sleeves shirt, and a dark grey jacket and black pants paired with black shoes. After changing up to that, I bought two more jackets and shirts for myself and my best friend and that was it for my shopping there before I made my move down here.

I stared down at my wristwatch, and I had just 20minutes left before my departure time. I wonder why the delay, we're meant to board the plane by now, not sitting here waiting. I hope they don't cancel the flight again because I'm not ready to spend another night here. While I was thinking about leaving, my mood suddenly switched to sadness and anger. I couldn't tell why at first but the face of the lady playing in my head made me understood why I'm angry with myself. I think I'm feeling guilty for not telling that lady I was leaving. But what does it matter though?  At least I took care of the hospital bills and I was there to see her breathing just fine before I left. Wasn't that enough? What else was my role there if I'm to stay back?

"Fernando!" Someone yelled my name and I gaze up. Did I just hear my name now? Oh, what am I thinking? For god sake I'm not the only one with that name, I sigh and put my gaze down.

"Fernando Perez!" The voice yelled again and I was forced to stand up. At least this can't be a coincidence that my surname is being added. I glance around searching for the owner of that voice. 

"Fernando Perez! Can you hear me?" The feminine voice yells my name again and I searched harder with my gaze to find whoever must be calling for me. One thing though, the voice sounds familiar but I can't be so sure. 

Who knows me in Seoul that's calling for me? That's weird! My gaze scans the crowd on more time and my gaze fell on a young lady who was glancing around like she was in search of someone. She was dressed in a blue jean and a yellow crop-top. I furrowed confusedly, I've seen that exact dress somewhere today. I tried to gather my thoughts to recall where I'd seen it, Kim, it was Kim I saw with that outfit today at the hospital. Could that really be her? If it was her, what was she doing here at the airport standing in the crowd looking around like she was lost? Or was she the one that called for me? 

My gaze fell down to her footwear, something seems odd about it. My mind flashback to Micaela's white sneakers she had on this morning, it was the exact kind this lady had on. My gaze travels up to her brown hair and that suddenly drew my attention. Kim's hair isn't brown that I know for sure. Now I think I'm confused, maybe the lady standing right there wasn't Kim after all. As I made up my mind to return my gaze to somewhere else, the lady turnaround and stared directly at where I was standing. My eyes widen in disbelief and I gape at her...."Micaela" I muttered.

Her gaze met mine and we both stared at each other. For a moment the crowd seems to vanish and it was left with just the two of us.  This was so surreal that I wanted to blink so everything will get back to its place and trust me I did blink but she was standing right there. I stood there in alter despair not knowing which move to make. The next second, she was walking towards me instead. I think that was all it takes for me to catch up with her. When we both caught up with each other, I was expecting her to flash me her beautiful smile but all I saw was cold glares from her.

"Micaela, what are you doing here?".

"To clear my doubts!" She answered in a stern voice that bothers me.

"Doubts? What doubts?" I asked my gaze not leaving hers.

"That you were really leaving without saying goodbye. How could you Fernando?! I thought you were different from the others but I was so stupid to think you'd care a little about me!" she spat angrily.

"Calm down, would you? If I didn't care about you, I wouldn't have stayed back and waited to see you're fine before I left. Remember I missed my flight because of you this morning" I encountered back.

"It doesn't mean anything anymore as long as you left without even saying you were leaving! What does it take you to say that, huh? Was it so difficult to come back to the hospital and say it to my face? Or you finally accepted that I was a bad luck to you after all, wasn't it?! I knew you were going to leave me like everyone else without even getting to know me really! And obviously I was right" she yelled to my face and I felt really guilty for leaving without informing her.

Although what she's thinking about me ain't true, but even if I try to explain to her why I left without her notice I doubt if it was going to change anything. 

"I really thought I'd be happy with you by my side proving to me why I should keep living, but I was just so blind not to see it coming. I'm sorry we both crossed paths, you'll never see me again I can assure you that. Have a safe trip, Fernando" she turnaround and left without even waiting for me to explain myself.

I watched as she walks away into the crowd and vanishes. Why is she angry at me? Why couldn't she just deal with the fact that I didn't wanted to tell her I was leaving without having to think I'm like the rest of them? Who are the they? And why does she wish I was different? How did she know I'll be here at the airport?

Many unanswered questions on my mind but I can't get answers right now because I'm leaving, maybe someday I'll come back for them. Announcement of my flight departure time was already here, I turnaround with my two small bags and I joined the queue of boarders.

'I really thought I'd be happy with you by my side proving to me why I should keep living, but I was just so blind not to see it coming' Micaela's voice echoes in my head as I waited in the queue to get to my turn. What if I come back someday and she was gone out of this world without me having the chance to know why she took her own life? What if she makes that decision tonight out of anger and depression from my actions today? I'll never forgive myself for her death. But is Micaela really capable of committing suicide?

"Sir, your boarding pass please?" the officer requested and that jars me out of thought. I glanced back and I saw more people has queued behind me which means is already my turn. I returned my gaze to the officer who had extended his hand waiting for me to handover my boarding pass. "Your boarding pass Sir, please you need to hurry others are waiting".

I glance back and forth and I shook my head. "I... I'm sorry, I can't go in right now, I have some emergency to take care of" that was all I said and find my way out of the airport. I'm going to find Micaela and she's going to answer all the questions that pertains to her life and also to my life. If I don't get those answers, I'm not leaving this country. Every other thing can wait until when I'm back to Madrid.

I found myself running out with the little hope of finding her outside the terminal but before I got out, she was already gone.

I took a cab first to my motel and I paid for two more nights just in case things didn't turn out well tonight. After dropping my bags, the same cab drove me to the hospital where she was admitted. When I got to her wardroom, it was vacant. I walked back to the counter to inquire of her whereabouts.

"Hello, has Micaela Alvarado been discharged?" I ask the nurse at the counter.

"Well, it's kind of complicated. She wasn't really discharged by the doctor, she left on her own will at around 3pm and since then we haven't seen her, Sir" the nurse replied.

What?! I almost exclaimed aloud, does that mean she sneak out just to get to see me at the airport? "Are you sure of what you're saying?".

"Very sure, Sir" she nods repeatedly. But her friends were there with her, how come they left her all alone?

"Where were her friends when this happened?" I threw the question at her.

"They were her accomplices for the plan. It was after she left, we got to find out from them" she explains.

"Damnit!" I cussed and ran my fingers through my hair. Micaela left the hospital because of me. How can her sick friends even let her do that in the first place? "Thank you" I replied and turnaround to leave.

"Please if you find her, tell her to come by and take her complete dosage, Sir" she replied and gave a bow and I nod at her and exited the hospital.

I can't believe all that is happening, I hate dramas but right now I'm involving myself into one. How could Micaela leave the hospital just to come find me? Is she out of her mind? What if she gets knocked out again and no one is there with her? Or was she with her friends when she came looking for me? I doubt it, from what the nurse said, she left them behind. Jeez! This is unbelievable! If she left the airport an hour ago, then she ought to have been back to the hospital by now, but she didn't return there which means she must have gone back to her house.

I took another cab to Micaela's house. She needs to tell me what kind of madness is this for her to have left the hospital without being discharged. Is she trying to kill herself really? Half an hour later, the cab parked in front of her house and I tip the chauffeur off and alighted from the cab. 

"Good evening sir" the security guard greeted.

"Good evening, is your boss in?".

"No Sir. I thought you both went out this morning?".

"Yes, we did. But she left the hospital and...."

"Hospital? Did something happen to ma'am?" he asked interrupting me, his face suddenly became moody.

Are you fucking kidding me? Micaela is not home yet? Where the hell must she have gone to?

"Sir, is ma'am Micaela sound and safe?" He asked intruding my thoughts.

"Yes, she's fine. Do you know where she could be?".

"No. What really happened to her?".

"Now is not the right time to answer your questions. Do you have an idea of where her friends live?".

"Yes. It's called Itaewon..." He continues talking while I brought out my phone and typed it out. 

"Thank you" I said and left there immediately. This is getting really bad from the looks of it. I took another cab to Itaewon town and tried to locate the house address. Unlike Micaela's beautiful mansion, this one was a duplex. I didn't care to ask her guard earlier which of her friends lives here, well, at least I'm here now so I'll get to find out myself.

I knocked on the door twice and Sabrina emerges out of the house. I rolled my eyes and a groan almost escaped my mouth. "Hi" I greeted. I wasn't expecting her to be the first person I'll see, I thought this would be Kim's home for some reasons. The least I want right now is to banter with the lady standing in front of me.

"Hey, jerk face" she greeted wearing a smug. "Did you miss me?" she jokes and I snorted.

"Dream on drama queen" I retorted and she shot me a cold glare which almost got me laughing but not right now. "I'm not here for you anyways, where is Micaela?".

"I should be asking you that, she told us she was going after you just like in the movies" she replies and I raised a brow at her.

"I don't understand" I shrugged in response.

"She left the hospital without the doctor notice with a mission in mind which was you. Where were you anyways?".

"I was at the airport about..."

"You wanted to leave without saying your goodbyes to her? What kind of friend are you anyways? I always knew you were a jerk right from the moment I saw you" she cuts me off and turns around to go back inside.

"Hey, hold on. Is not what you think about me, what happened was a last-minute decision, believe me".

"I don't know what to believe about you right about now" came her reply.

"Please tell me where she is" was the only request I could make rather than beg to be believed.

"I really don't know where she is. Maybe she's at home, you should..."

"She isn't there that's why I'm here" I cut in.

"That's weird. Didn't you see her at all when she went to look for you?". 

Her question got me feeling guilty again and I avoided her gaze. I should have stopped her from leaving when I saw her at the airport but I didn't. I watched her slipped away without even saying the simplest words 'I'm sorry'. 

"I take that to be you actually saw her but didn't acknowledge her presence or you offended her and now you're here to apologize. Well, whichever one it is, you've got to fix it yourself" she said it like she was there when it all happened.

"That's exactly what I'm trying to do that's why I'm looking all over for her. Can you call Kim and ask if she's there with her?" I ask with a slight feeling of hope that she'll be there.

"I doubt it. Kim just left my place to go resume her shift work, if Micaela was there, she'll call me to come over and keep her company. Maybe you should try calling her" she suggested.

I nodded and dig out my phone to call her. Her phone number was part of the details Antonio gave to me before flying down here. I dialed her line a couple of times but it wasn't even connecting. "It's unreachable!" I half-yelled in frustration.

"I'm clueless right now. Maybe you should just let her be" came her reply and I furrowed my brows at her.

Does she have the slightest idea of what she's asking of me? I should let her be? If only she knows Micaela has been thinking of suicide for God knows how long, then maybe she'll go chasing after her like I'm doing right now.

"Please think of places she likes going all alone" I pleaded with her.

She huffs and did some thinking. "I can only think of three places, if she's not in any of those places then I guess she really wants to be alone" she said and I nod for her to continue. "Samcheong Park, Hangang River and her former company rooftop".

"Thank you so much. I'll keep in touch if I find her" I replied hastily and turn to leave.

"Please keep her safe, she means a lot to me" she said lastly and I glanced back at her and gave a nod and left there.

As I boarded a cab to start my search from the rooftop, I prayed silently to find her in one of these places and let her please still be alive when I do.