When the bleak light of the Sunday morning appears, all I can sense is pain down in my femininity. Last night was a long night. Ryle and I spent an hour and a half 'appreciating' our bodies. Now, I feel like I'm crippled. I feel like can't take a step. I shouldn't have said that I wanted to be in his paradise, because he gave me the real meaning of it.
I turn to him. He's lying on his front. In warmth and comfort, he cuddles my bolster. He looks really innocent when he's in shut-eye. I wonder what kind of days he's having as a son of a billionaire. Is he getting everything he wants? Or is he like those rich children who are more filled with problems than the poor are? Who knows? Does he excel in school? Kent is a smart guy, and so is Marco. They both got to that university for the wiz. Does that make Ryle an intellect as well? Maybe. He looks like a typical bad boy, but who knows? Maybe he's a science guy too.I don't know why I'm inspecting his life right now. AllRyle leaves early at five-thirty. He doesn't eat breakfast because there's something urgent thing he has to attend, as he says. He just kisses me goodbye and greets me "Stay safe, Stella." I can never get tired of his voice saying my name. Ever. His voice is just already automatically needed by my audience.After having breakfast and taking a warm bath, I slide into a kind of baggy jeans, a simple peach sweatshirt, and black sneakers. I also bring an umbrella in case it rains during the recession. After rechecking my stuff, I get out of the building and then pedal to school.It's a cold Monday morning. The streets and people are busy. The skies are blue, but numerous thunderheads are across it. They're quickly flying away though. I hope it doesn't pour later. I have to deliver the canvases to the redesigned studio and rearrange our stuff, especially our storage room. Whatever changed in and on the studio, I hope it's beautiful. Better is acceptable as well. I just
Midnight hasn't even fallen yet when Ryle gets up, successfully interrupting my fall to sleep. Thank you, Ryle. That's very sweet of you. Where's he going though? He just gets out of the room like I'm never here.So, I get up as well. I tie my hair and then yawn. I absentmindedly wear my slippers and then rise to my feet involuntarily. I'm still tired from cycling across the noisy asphalt jungle yet I'm here, following that bastard who's just disappeared from my sight. What a great night.As I swing the door open, I see his silhouette pronto before the glass door of the balcony. His hands are on the upper parts of the doorjambs, both of his index fingers drumming the jambs. He's thinking in depth. He's drowned in a sea of scenes in his head. It's evident by how his head is bowed down. My curiosity could kill me anytime now. He has problems. If he could just tell me what he's going through, maybe I can help. But he won't do that. He will keep it to himself.His head turns to me as soon
Since this day started, all I've felt is warm fuzzies. Joy. Felicity. Bliss. Gladness. Beatitude. Anything synonymous with 'happiness' is what I'm feeling right now. Everything has mixed up in me. Happiness. Surprise. Knowledge. Excitement. I can't believe it. I thought I'd never see the day. I thought it was impossible. I thought he'd never feel the same way I long have towards him. Ryle Andreyev wants to enter my heart. My life. My world. He said it sincerely. There's no way this is a dream. And even if it was, I'd rather get stuck in it forevermore.Ryle is that person. He gave me two hundred thousand dollars. He saved Mom on the verge of collapsing, even though he hasn't known anything about it. Yet. Right from the start of our deal, he's shown me how appreciative he is towards me. How protective and manly he is. How caring he is. He's been the shoulder I lean on whenever my days get gloomy. He's the ferryman who's guided me across the ocean of uncertainties. In short,
The restaurant is abuzz tonight. There was, as I can hear, an entrepreneurship convention that took place in the capital asphalt jungle. Ergo, we're busy serving this flooding population of businessmen and entrepreneurs. I don't know, but this kind of scene is what I want when I work — busy and packed. It just makes me do my job more rigorously. This place has been more than helpful to me and Mom. I couldn't be more grateful for meeting our managers, especially the one who hired me who's now at the western United States branch.As I wait for a table to be cleaned, I look around anxiously. I swear, if Mister Rusco is here, my heart would surely throb. He doesn't know anything about me and his son having a thing. I wonder how he'd react if he ever knew that. That would be torturous to witness. He might not accept me. I'm so assuming. As if Ryle would introduce me to him. Ryle and I love each other, but one day, maybe, our relationship might tear apart. Who knows? He's from a
Wednesday is so much different. Firstly, the weather, since dawn broke, has been very humid. I'm in our homeroom right now, listening to music — a very cool, soothing one — yet I'm fanning myself effortfully with cardboard. Windows are already slid open yet the air of deep freeze we felt in the past days seems to not pass us any sooner. The sun is reigning in the clearest, bluest sky ever. No thread of nimbus cloud can be seen across the heavens. It's disappointing. Now I hope it pours. I regret hoping not to rain yesterday, because it's really irritating to feel this kind of heat.Secondly, this Wednesday is kind of a blessing to some extent. Colton's name is now cleared of disgrace. As Reign and I believed, he's proven that he didn't mess around with that rival school's cheerleader. He just can't do that. Now, Lia and he are in the reconnection process. Reign and I also called Lia about this last night. Now, all I can see is a Colton with earphones on, drumming on his arm
Kent was a very sweet guy. He always brought me food and drinks at the apartment. On weekends, we either spent binge-watching some movie series, joyrode around the city, or just simply walked across the plaza. We enjoyed our company. He was a great guy. Mom liked him for me. Sean and my father and he got along for a good while. He was a very sweet guy, but, besides being delightsome, he was also a brainiac. While his second year in higher education neared, he became more obsessed with being perfect in his studies. Numero uno grades. Great social credit. Excessive catharsis. He wanted perfection, and it threatened our relationship gradually.After the two boys, Sean and my father, disappeared from the family, he was offered to attend a school in the United States. He consulted it with me, but I didn't agree with it. He explained to me, that it would be helpful to him, that it would accelerate his academic progress, and so on. But, I never responded in accord. After some time
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup.
I don't have difficulty to move at the restaurant since Mister Rusco isn't around. I feel like I can't even face him. I think I should never think about him either. It feels like I'm banning myself from doing that. It's better though. My mind needs to be free from guilt. Even though that's impossible, I have to work hard to achieve that. I guess. Even if it means wearing out my mentality. My thoroughly confused and disordered mind. Funny.As I leave work, my heart constantly hurts. I want to see Ryle so, so badly. I want to be in his arms. I want his touch against my skin. I want his loving presence. But, unfortunately, I don't need that all right now. I have to prioritize needs over wants. And what I need right now is to avoid him. In any way whatever. Even if that means hurting him, I'll do it. He needs to be away from right now. I'm going to cause him harm. I'm sure about that.I'm about to tap on my phone when I see Kent waving at me from across the street, by
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A new morning rises. It's Saturday and the day is fully packed for me. First, I’ll be at the art studio to finish up a project I left last Sunday. Second, I’ll go to the address Mister Fabio gave me. There isn't a schedule or what, so I'll just go after lunch. I still don't know what to expect. I guess I’ll just let fate do its thing. And last but not least, I’m going to Ryle’s house in the early evening. It's time to face him, whether he likes it or not. But I’d like the earlier more.After slipping into my slippers, I excitedly get out of the room. I immediately smell the breakfast Mom has prepared. I go to the dining room and find Mom stirring her tea while listening to the faint broadcast on her old radio. “Good morning, Mom,” I greet before giving her a tight embrace. “How are you feeling?”She smiles after turning the radio off. “I’ve been good lately. No side effects from medication. My stitches have already healed. Everything is fine,” she says. She stands up. “I’ll just make
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup."How did I get onto your bed?" I change the topic unint
I’ve almost gotten out of my room when I look back at my charging phone. I sit on my bed and the plugged my charger out. I look at Ryle's number before finally hitting the ‘Call’ button. While my phone is ringing, I’m thinking of what I’m going to tell him. I shouldn't sound that curious even though I've actually been since the other night. He's my boyfriend, and I'm his girlfriend. He deserves space, and I do deserve why he needs one, or so I thoughy. He shouldn't be doing this alone. He can share to me what's going on because I hate myself sitting on the mattres and overthinking things.
It's already lunch. I’m sitting alone at a table, eating whatever it is on my tray. I really didn't pick these. Reign did. I was rechecking our team output for Chemistry in the classroom so I told her ‘Just grab me whatever you think I’d like,’ and she didn't fail. She's currently sitting with her girlfriends. She invites me to join them, but I tell her I need to review for Math while filling in my stomach. I hope she knows I’m not as brainy in Math as she naturally is.Anyway, in the following minutes, all I’ve done is sigh and yawn in front of the Trigonometry section of the textbook. It feels like nothing is coming into my mind but void and void. The topic isn't that difficult to grasp. I’m just the problem. I kind of lack appropriate motive to face a book and write essays since Lester dropped me off. His words have been reverberating in my mind, and I can't find a way how to block them. I'm aware that it totally is unhealthy, but overthinking is enveloping every corner of my brain
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup."How did I get onto your bed?" I change the topic unint
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup."How did I get onto your bed?" I change the topic unint
I’ve almost gotten out of my room when I look back at my charging phone. I sit on my bed and the plugged my charger out. I look at Ryle's number before finally hitting the ‘Call’ button. While my phone is ringing, I’m thinking of what I’m going to tell him. I shouldn't sound that curious even though I've actually been since the other night. He's my boyfriend, and I'm his girlfriend. He deserves space, and I do deserve why he needs one, or so I thoughy. He shouldn't be doing this alone. He can share to me what's going on because I hate myself sitting on the mattres and overthinking things.
“Mom told me about it the day after I acted like a dick to you,” Ryle says sorrily, sincerity evident in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Stella. I truly am.”I cup his cheeks and then sweetly kiss one of them. “I know the truth now, Ryle. I’m not mad anymore.” I then smile.He bitterly beams and stays silent for some seconds before speaking again. “I’ve only wanted us to get through this bullshit. I may not deserve you, but you deserve pure love, Stella. I’ll give it to you in any way whatever.”“Ryle.” I stand up, pulling him up as well. I wrap my arms around his broad trunk and then lean my head against his chest. His heartbeats are music to my ears. They calm me. I look back up at Ryle and just smile, my chin on the very center of his chest. “We deserve each other, Ryle. I want us to through this together. Never alone. My future is right in front of me. I’ll never let it go anymore. Ever,” I calmly say.He puts a peck on the tip of my nose and then replies, “I love you so much, baby. I’ll