Wednesday is so much different. Firstly, the weather, since dawn broke, has been very humid. I'm in our homeroom right now, listening to music — a very cool, soothing one — yet I'm fanning myself effortfully with cardboard. Windows are already slid open yet the air of deep freeze we felt in the past days seems to not pass us any sooner. The sun is reigning in the clearest, bluest sky ever. No thread of nimbus cloud can be seen across the heavens. It's disappointing. Now I hope it pours. I regret hoping not to rain yesterday, because it's really irritating to feel this kind of heat.
Secondly, this Wednesday is kind of a blessing to some extent. Colton's name is now cleared of disgrace. As Reign and I believed, he's proven that he didn't mess around with that rival school's cheerleader. He just can't do that. Now, Lia and he are in the reconnection process. Reign and I also called Lia about this last night. Now, all I can see is a Colton with earphones on, drumming on his armKent was a very sweet guy. He always brought me food and drinks at the apartment. On weekends, we either spent binge-watching some movie series, joyrode around the city, or just simply walked across the plaza. We enjoyed our company. He was a great guy. Mom liked him for me. Sean and my father and he got along for a good while. He was a very sweet guy, but, besides being delightsome, he was also a brainiac. While his second year in higher education neared, he became more obsessed with being perfect in his studies. Numero uno grades. Great social credit. Excessive catharsis. He wanted perfection, and it threatened our relationship gradually.After the two boys, Sean and my father, disappeared from the family, he was offered to attend a school in the United States. He consulted it with me, but I didn't agree with it. He explained to me, that it would be helpful to him, that it would accelerate his academic progress, and so on. But, I never responded in accord. After some time
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup.
I don't have difficulty to move at the restaurant since Mister Rusco isn't around. I feel like I can't even face him. I think I should never think about him either. It feels like I'm banning myself from doing that. It's better though. My mind needs to be free from guilt. Even though that's impossible, I have to work hard to achieve that. I guess. Even if it means wearing out my mentality. My thoroughly confused and disordered mind. Funny.As I leave work, my heart constantly hurts. I want to see Ryle so, so badly. I want to be in his arms. I want his touch against my skin. I want his loving presence. But, unfortunately, I don't need that all right now. I have to prioritize needs over wants. And what I need right now is to avoid him. In any way whatever. Even if that means hurting him, I'll do it. He needs to be away from right now. I'm going to cause him harm. I'm sure about that.I'm about to tap on my phone when I see Kent waving at me from across the street, by
Ryle hasn't dialed my phone number for the last twenty-four hours. He hasn't sent me any messages. He's never gone even in the twenty-meter radius of the block. I haven't seen his eyes. I haven't felt his skin. I haven't smelled his scent. The only thing that exists about him is his total absence. I dislike this. Like really, really hating on the shitty situation. I'm being stalked and harassed by my ex-boyfriend, and I can't do anything to stop it, unfortunately. The odds aren't in my favor right now. I wish Ryle was here. Beside me. All I need is his presence and everything will feel okay already. But that's impossible. Ugh.I have to force myself to go to school feeling down. I feel like I can't even lift my feet off the ground. Pitiful, the mixed-up anxiety and hatred in my head slowly eating away my sanity. I wish I hadn't hurt Ryle, but I had to. If we continue seeing each other, it's the end. For me. For him? I can't risk the good reputation people around me have known me for.
It starts dripping outside. The night is still young. Even though tired, I try my best to get out of the arms of the sleeping Kent beside me, and it's a success. After waiting for some more seconds, I've made sure that Kent is totally lost in his slumber. I have to stay silent because I know he's an alert type of person. One click and he'll wake like hell.I grab my phone and then head out of the room. I then sit in the living room and silently contact Reign through messaging. I tell her if she can send me the address of the rave where she last saw Ryle. I can't go to Ryle's building. I'm never allowed there. I have the slightest idea what I'm doing right now, but I have to see Ryle. I need to see his face. His state. His situation. I just require myself to do it. It feels like an obligation.It takes more or less fifteen minutes before Reign finally replies to me. She sends me the address and warns me about the perverts and potheads roaming around the place. I thank her and greet her
"I'm coming, Stella," Ryle says deeply as he widens my legs. Every thrust he does is heaven to me. He keeps on filling me with his entirety, and I can't help but hold onto his neck and then smash my lips against his. He hastens his penetration, making me moan on his tongue, and then he lets out a long, coarse sigh of satisfaction, slowly moving in and out of me. "Fuck, Stella. That was good," he says.All I do is close my eyes as he gets his manhood out of my hole. I'm missing it already. Am I bad for thinking like this? I just want him, his touch. That's all. I've never felt him for days, and those days were torturous. It's all because of this freak ex-boyfriend of mine named Kent. Ugh. That guy sucks. I'm a hundred percent sure he's totally lost it. Or somebody else has been making him lose it. Either way, it's never helped me. It's just made my days dull and gloomy. Lifeless. God knows how miserable I've been when Kent appeared. With a very odd personality.As I get back in my thre
Birds tweet. Clouds clear out. Cold air rushes in. It's a great morning especially that I'm in the arms of this lovely man beside me. I play with his stubble while watching him breathe peacefully. Watching him sleep is such a drug to me. It gives me serenity, and I'm here for it. He seems so relaxed. Free. Free from whatever it is that bothers him. Free from whatever burdens him. I always want to see him like this. He deserves this.I decide to get up, silently so I don't wake Ryle. I want to wander his house. I'm still amazed. I can't blame myself for that. I'm also an artist.I then get out of the room and make my way downstairs. I immediately go to the living room and find myself in paradise. This is the living room everybody loves. Very easy and pleasing to the eyes. The colors are giving holiday vibes, and I love it.I sit on the couch and then lay my head on the backrest. I sigh deeply as I close my eyes, crossing my arms amid this cold atmosphere. What am I supposed to do now? E
I leave Ryle's house after we've had breakfast. I tell him I'll just hail a taxi even though he keeps on insisting he'll drive me home. In the end, I've won the argument. I thank him for the treat and then leave him with a short kiss and tight embrace. He gives me a sweet 'I love you' before taking me on my ride, outside their beautiful village.Yes. I haven't told him about the whole truth yet. He's assured me that he's not forcing me to tell him about whatever the reason I acted stupidly the other night. And I guess I'm glad that he thinks like that. He's not putting pressure on me. At the same time, I feel terrible. Why? Because I've kept the truth from him for so long telling him about it has become a burden to me. It sucks. It does, and I can't help but think I'm being selfish and untrustworthy. It's quite a fact though. I've been concentrating on my own well-being — reputation — without regard for Ryle's right to know about things I do. That's an act of egocentricity. At least I
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A new morning rises. It's Saturday and the day is fully packed for me. First, I’ll be at the art studio to finish up a project I left last Sunday. Second, I’ll go to the address Mister Fabio gave me. There isn't a schedule or what, so I'll just go after lunch. I still don't know what to expect. I guess I’ll just let fate do its thing. And last but not least, I’m going to Ryle’s house in the early evening. It's time to face him, whether he likes it or not. But I’d like the earlier more.After slipping into my slippers, I excitedly get out of the room. I immediately smell the breakfast Mom has prepared. I go to the dining room and find Mom stirring her tea while listening to the faint broadcast on her old radio. “Good morning, Mom,” I greet before giving her a tight embrace. “How are you feeling?”She smiles after turning the radio off. “I’ve been good lately. No side effects from medication. My stitches have already healed. Everything is fine,” she says. She stands up. “I’ll just make
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup."How did I get onto your bed?" I change the topic unint
I’ve almost gotten out of my room when I look back at my charging phone. I sit on my bed and the plugged my charger out. I look at Ryle's number before finally hitting the ‘Call’ button. While my phone is ringing, I’m thinking of what I’m going to tell him. I shouldn't sound that curious even though I've actually been since the other night. He's my boyfriend, and I'm his girlfriend. He deserves space, and I do deserve why he needs one, or so I thoughy. He shouldn't be doing this alone. He can share to me what's going on because I hate myself sitting on the mattres and overthinking things.
It's already lunch. I’m sitting alone at a table, eating whatever it is on my tray. I really didn't pick these. Reign did. I was rechecking our team output for Chemistry in the classroom so I told her ‘Just grab me whatever you think I’d like,’ and she didn't fail. She's currently sitting with her girlfriends. She invites me to join them, but I tell her I need to review for Math while filling in my stomach. I hope she knows I’m not as brainy in Math as she naturally is.Anyway, in the following minutes, all I’ve done is sigh and yawn in front of the Trigonometry section of the textbook. It feels like nothing is coming into my mind but void and void. The topic isn't that difficult to grasp. I’m just the problem. I kind of lack appropriate motive to face a book and write essays since Lester dropped me off. His words have been reverberating in my mind, and I can't find a way how to block them. I'm aware that it totally is unhealthy, but overthinking is enveloping every corner of my brain
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup."How did I get onto your bed?" I change the topic unint
When I open my still-hurting eyes, I find myself lying on Mom's hospital bed. She's seated by me, a magazine in her hands. She casually flips pages until she notices me yawning. "It's breezy all day long," she says.I sit straight and then look at her but still lost in thoughts. "Yeah. Good morning," I say before getting off the bed. I sit down on a stool and then smell a strong aroma — coffee. I turn my head around and eventually see the trail of smoke, leading my eyes to two cups of coffee on the table."Take one, sweetheart," Mom orders.I obey. It's coffee. Everything caffeinated is life nowadays. As warmth goes down my freezing insides, satisfaction is what I feel. Coffee really makes me pleased."Good, isn't it?" Mom queries.I nod in agreement. It's coffee, so it has to be good."Just give me the signal if you're comfortable already to talk about it, the reason that made you sob last night," she says, reaching for her cup."How did I get onto your bed?" I change the topic unint
I’ve almost gotten out of my room when I look back at my charging phone. I sit on my bed and the plugged my charger out. I look at Ryle's number before finally hitting the ‘Call’ button. While my phone is ringing, I’m thinking of what I’m going to tell him. I shouldn't sound that curious even though I've actually been since the other night. He's my boyfriend, and I'm his girlfriend. He deserves space, and I do deserve why he needs one, or so I thoughy. He shouldn't be doing this alone. He can share to me what's going on because I hate myself sitting on the mattres and overthinking things.
“Mom told me about it the day after I acted like a dick to you,” Ryle says sorrily, sincerity evident in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Stella. I truly am.”I cup his cheeks and then sweetly kiss one of them. “I know the truth now, Ryle. I’m not mad anymore.” I then smile.He bitterly beams and stays silent for some seconds before speaking again. “I’ve only wanted us to get through this bullshit. I may not deserve you, but you deserve pure love, Stella. I’ll give it to you in any way whatever.”“Ryle.” I stand up, pulling him up as well. I wrap my arms around his broad trunk and then lean my head against his chest. His heartbeats are music to my ears. They calm me. I look back up at Ryle and just smile, my chin on the very center of his chest. “We deserve each other, Ryle. I want us to through this together. Never alone. My future is right in front of me. I’ll never let it go anymore. Ever,” I calmly say.He puts a peck on the tip of my nose and then replies, “I love you so much, baby. I’ll