SAD BEGINNINGS

11 years earlier.

ROSA'S POV

"You have it all in you, my love." Mom said to me with obvious difficulty. "Its all inside...." Her words were cut short, as she began to cough out non stop. I held her hand in my much smaller ones, the scary beeps coming from the ECG machine intensifying. Her hands shook so badly as I gripped onto them harder, scared to be in that part of our life's journey, where we say our goodbyes. My lips opened in reflex, but I couldn't make any words out. My mind had yelled at me to call the doctor, but no words came forth.

In a way, it wasn't just because I was shocked. It was because deep down, I knew there was probably nothing the doctor could do. My mother was halfway gone already, and I could feel it. All I could do, was let the tears of fear and self pity, fall from my eyes.

Eventually, I saw the lines on the ECG machines go flat. I wasn't dumb. Matter of factly, I was the best student in the pack's academy. I knew what that meant. My mother's heart had stopped beating. She was dead.

She was dead!!! She died right in front of me. I mustered the little courage within me, and looked at her face. It was turned to me. Her set eyes were on me, and her lips were slightly opened like she had something to say to me. I saw the unshed tears that had clouded her eyes, and watched in horror as they finally fell out of her lifeless eyes. I guess that was the push my vocal cavity needed.

"Mom!!!" I yelled out, as I felt an actual physical pain in my chest. My tears increased alongside the emotional and mental pain I felt.

I probably didn't hear the doctor and nurses rush in, because I was far lost in my agony. I felt a couple of hands hold my arms, as they pulled me off my seat, and took me out of the room.

"Rosaline, I'm so sorry...." Doctor Morales's voice echoed through my head.

All the while, I looked around the hallway for the one person who was supposed to comfort me, even if he never really did. My father. And he was absent.

***

***

5 Months Later.

"Give it to him. Now!" Lena yelled at me in annoyance. I looked at my father, hoping he would come to my rescue in a way. Who was I kidding? This same man had done nothing to make me feel like I was truly his child, all the while I had known him. Infact, he had been absent from my mother's side, when she had died five months ago. I had rushed back home, so heartbroken and once again, hopeful he would lend me some comfort as the only surviving family I had.

Instead, I met the shock of my life when I got home. I heard the sounds coming from his bedroom, and quietly made my way there. There he had been, pants down, as he did unthinkable things with that woman; Lena. He had been busy having the fuck of his life, while my mother's body was running cold in the morgue. It was no surprise that he went ahead to marry Lena just a few weeks after my mom was buried. Lena had moved in with her children, whom I was only now realizing looked so much like my father.

I had put the numbers together. No one had to tell me they were his other family. Lena's first son; Duncan, was almost my age, and that only meant that father had been cheating on my mother since they got together. But why? My mother was the most wonderful person I knew. Why did my father betray her so? And why had he never loved me?

"Didn't you hear her?!" My father's voice thundered. "Put it in Duncan's plate!"

With shaky hands, teary eyes, and an unsatisfied stomach, I lifted the last pancake that I had felt lucky enough to have carried just a few seconds ago, and put it in my stepbrother's plate.

"You can as well exit the table now. Your presence irritates me." Lena muttered, and I quietly stood from my seat and made my way out of the dining room. The closer I got to my bedroom, the more tears welled up in my eyes. This had been my life for the past months.

It was safe to say that I was suffering, with no one to come to my aid. I had no mother anymore, and having my father was as good as having none. His smug looking face flashed through my mind again, and my heart lurched at the thought that he felt happy about what his wife did to me. Since Lena moved in after the wedding, I had to sacrifice a lot for the sake of her children, who did nothing but disrespect me as much as they could. I looked around my room and released a small sigh.

The four walls of this room did not feel comforting one bit. If anything, it felt suffocating. When they had newly come to what was formerly my home, Lena's last child; Diane, decided she preferred my room to the one that had been prepared for her. To my dismay, father had ordered that I packed my belongings out of the room I had occupied since I was just a child. I felt so hurt, but there wasn't much I could do about it. His new family meant more to him, than I ever would. Moreover, they weren't really his 'new' family. They had always been, but mom and I just didn't know.

Curled up in a ball on my bed, I thought of my upcoming birthday, not feeling the usual excitement that ran through my veins in the previous years. I was going to be 14 tomorrow, but there was truly nothing to look forward to. Absolutely nothing.

Thinking of my sad life for the rest of the night, my breathing eventually evened out, and I fell asleep on my slightly scattered bed.

In the middle of the night, I felt a piercing feeling in my chest and lower abdomen, making me open my eyes abruptly. The consciousness that accompanied my awakened body, made me realize how badly I was sweating. Not just that, I realized how badly in pain I actually was. Holding my tummy tightly, I groaned in raw anguish, unable to let out any sound more than a yelp. I tried to scream for help, but I didn't have the energy to do so. I felt completely drained, and slowly approaching madness.

"Ahhh!" I moaned painfully, hot sweat dropping from my forehead, to my already soaked mattress. What was happening to me? Was I dying? Was I finally going to see my mom? Would I finally find peace? But then again, how could I find peace through such an agonizing path? My heartbeat accelerated so bad, that I could feel my heart beating in my head. It was just so chaotic, unlike anything I've experienced before.

Soon enough, I heard a loud thud, and it took me a moment to realize it was my own body that I landed on the floor of my bedroom. I had fallen from my bed, but weirdly couldn't feel the pain.

Apparently, the bigger pain I was currently going through, was too much for me to have felt a smaller one. I felt the horrible pain hit me wave after wave, further draining me.

"Please, help." I muttered weakly, hoping someone would hear me, or feel my weak energy. "Father." I tried, not understanding why I felt he would hear me. "Father." I called again. Just as I did, the door to my bedroom flung open, to my surprise. I slowly looked up to see him looking down at me in what seemed like shock, and then, realization. Realization of what?

I couldn't comprehend the reason why he had run out so quickly. But then, he returned some minutes later, holding something in his hand.

"Rosaline." He called out to me, falling to my level and sounding weirdly kind.

"Father." I muttered, feeling my consciousness dwindle. Just when I thought I was about fainting and escaping this inexplicable torture, I felt another wave of terror hit me. Immediately, I yelled out loudly in pain as my bones began to crack. That was when I understood what was happening. I was about to have my first shift.

I kept yelling as my bones cracked into shape, my inner beast feeling too enormous for my ordinary body to contain. I felt like a painfully overfed crippled, about to burst open at anytime. Before I knew what was happening, my body summersaulted on the floor, throwing off my father in the process. I felt concerned about my father who was currently on his back, groaning in pains. But the tough process of my transformation was too much for me to pay him so much attention.

The bones on my body started cracking as well, and I could feel the beast very close to emerging. Just then, father rushed to me and grabbed my hand, dropping a transparent crystal ball in it.

"Ahhh!!.... Fa..." I tried speaking to him, but another painful wave shut me up.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine." He nodded at me, making a stray tear drop onto my face where I felt a burning sensation. I was gradually furring out. "Hold onto it, and I promise that this excruciating pain would subside. It hurts me to see you like this, my child."

Did he just call me that? Almost immediately, I felt my heartbeat drop to a normal level, and for a moment, the chaos seemed to disappear. I could hear everything around me much clearly, and I could feel the soreness around my body.

"Father?" I whispered, actually surprised at feeling relieved.

"Hold onto the crystal ball, Rosaline. Hold onto it!" He demanded, sounding a bit rough. But then, it only made me feel good because for once, my father seemed genuinely worried about me.

"Yes, father." I muttered weakly, nodding my head in emphasis. I covered the ball with my palm, tightly embracing my redemption from pain. Slowly, I started to feel myself losing strength and consciousness. "Father?" I whispered, feeling somewhat scared. Was I going to die?

"Shhh..." Came his soft reprimand. "You will be just fine, Rosaline. Let go."

And just like that, I held onto the ball much firmly, trading my consciousness in return.

****

****

Opening my eyes after what felt like a century, I realized I had slept off on the floor. Not only that, I couldn't feel my body! Atleast, not my usual body.

It was clearly a new day, the rays of sunlight filtering through my bedroom window. The events of the previous night flooded through my mind, and I felt a bit disappointed when I realized my father was not in my room anymore. Last night, was the closest to fatherly warmth, I had ever felt from him. And now, he was gone. He wasn't here with me anymore, and I wondered if last night was nothing but an imagination.

Immediately, I stood up from the floor with so much difficulty though. I understood it felt difficult, because this was the first time I was in my wolf form. I couldn't help the little feeling of excitement within me, when I thought of how my wolf looked. I looked around the room, noticing that my vision was somewhat sharper. I sighted the transparent crystal ball lying at the foot of my bed, and I made to get it. I walked towards the bed with continuous difficulty that slowly began to seem abnormal.

With its mouth, my wolf picked up the crystal ball, and headed towards the medium sized mirror in my room. The closer I got the to mirror, the deeper my belly sunk. Finally, I stood close enough to clearly see the image of my wolf reflect on the mirror. I felt my heartbreaking at the sight, as the crystal ball dropped from the mouth of my wolf in equal shock. What happened to its right fore leg? It looked.... deformed. It all began to make sense to me.

That was the reason I found it difficult to stand or move around. I had a physically deformed wolf. I couldn't help the embarrassment I felt, as I continued to look at my pitiable wolf in the mirror. A great amount of tears had also clogged my wolf's eyes, making me feel more pathetic. Now, I wasn't just motherless. I was deformed and weak.