Chapter 4: Farewell

Walking on the dark familiar empty road, the cold breeze of December touched my skin. It made me realize my existence once again. I'm alive, after all. Yet, those two words alone don’t seem to show any significance at all. It doesn't make me feel relieved knowing the reality that I'm breathing and able to move.  In fact, I'm disappointed somehow.

Though the streets are quiet, the rumbling noise of cars and busy people around the corner plays a painful sound in my mind.  A vivid memory I cannot seem to remember and stopped trying to understand for a long time. 

Not a little longer, the inevitable darkness of the night started to creep in and tugged the usual strings on my heart, providing a peculiar comfort that has made me alive through these years. In my peripheral vision, I saw a house light up and what I assume were people peeking through the windows.

"The view must have been nice, huh?" I shouted and drank the last drop of alcohol I bought on the way.

The moment I caught pairs of eyes on me, I ridiculously winked, catching them off guard. Obviously, as a normal human reaction to possible danger, they shut their lights out and closed the curtains like crazy. What would one expect from a drunk woman walking alone with a bottle of alcohol, shouting her heart out? I cannot blame them.

It was already dark, and I did not care about the people around me or their ounce of attention. Who would have thought an exclusive village, occupied by known families across the country, would be easily infiltrated by some pathetic girl? I don't know what good to expect from a trespasser in the middle of the night, especially for homes with tight security. No matter their fortune, I bet they would be shaking on their knees. 

The thought was enough to make me laugh, and I immediately felt the urge to throw the last bottle in the corner to make a scene. 

"Do not be afraid! Soon I will reach paradise and bring no harm!" 

Everything was blurry, and though I was not sure if I was on the right track, I was true to my words.

"Just a few steps from here, and the world will be at peace..." I say to them or myself, as I felt an annoying build-up of liquid in my eyes once again.

What am I even crying for? I didn't know. I chuckled as the tears started to flow in my cheeks even more. They can think I'm mad, and I wouldn't argue with them. At some point, I even thought I would thank them for giving me a bit of attention to thinking I was crazy. Not everyone considers your existence, and it's a privilege that they did in a not-so-good way. I wouldn't like it the other way around, either.

Every step I took made me sway that may seem like a romantic dance under the moonlit night, except that no one was to grab my waist or hold my hand, guiding with every step like those stupid romances in books. My life indeed wasn't anything fairytale-like. This, everything of what had come and is yet to come, is the torture chamber of what we deem living.

"To where… my feet take me in," I whispered to, particularly no one.

At the very least, I could trust the familiarity of my own body. As they say, we go with the flow no matter what current we may be riding on. Just when I woke up from that nightmare, all I could remember was the voice of an unknown person and my own name.

“Walk farther, Lyria. Walk away from everything and never look back again.”

The funny thing is, if it weren’t for that one piece of puzzled voice, I wouldn’t even get to know my identity. Though I was not sure if I would have the determination to open my eyes every morning and look at the people around me without knowing anything right about myself. The only thing I was confident in this unbelieving world.

Lyria.

It's really a pity that it doesn’t ring a bell at all.

Soon enough, I reached the end of the road and entered the narrow corner behind a haunted house. If not for its mesmerizing architectural design, I wouldn't dare enter the ghost-like mansion a year ago only to see that everything didn't feel like it was abandoned at all. It was as if the house itself was living.

Maybe that was just me and the ridiculous work of my mind. Still, my feet took me to the nearest shelter, and the empty mansion felt like it was inviting me to come in when I was desperate. Yes, it was tempting, but I wasn't the risky type, especially when the rooms were unlocked. Robbed, maybe? It was the least of my concern.

I brushed off the thought and decided to stop by for a while to glimpse my home for the last time. I set my gaze on a medium-sized abandoned treehouse that surprisingly fits no other person, kids excluded, but me. 

I let my freezing hand run through the raspy trunk of the ancient tree that has provided me enough love for a sane person. Mainly because I had no one else to hold on to. Family? I was sure I opened my eyes only to realize I only had myself and me alone.

Living alone was tough, but it was nothing compared to the worry and anxiety every time a storm came around. It was always a disaster, not to the tree, but to me. I slowly climbed up the ladder I built a year ago with my consciousness coming back.

When I took my first step, I felt the usual shakiness of the hanging walkway and continued to climb up. 

"Let me up for the last time, buddy." 

Without the unusual luck on my side, things just had to be a lot worse than they actually were. I immediately heard a loud crack on the wooden steps my eyes laid upon, and I was not stupid not to realize the whole picture ahead of me.