CHAPTER ONE: MENTAL

"Lilith, I am very sorry if I have to take you here. I know this place doesn't fit you. After the traumatic experience you had because of what happened, I had no choice, but to put you here in a mental hospital. Edward called me and he said that I have nothing to worry about the expenses. But the thing that your ex-boyfriend once was here makes me feel guilty—"

She's about to finish what she was trying to say when I stopped her. I smiled bitterly as if I'm really okay of her decision. I understand that she needs to bring me here and make me stay in this kind of place because she has a own life that she needs to focus on.

Me and Lia, my sister has no family. Our parents died when we were just young and we managed to take care of ourselves. That is why I really understand her decision, even though this place has a lot of memories I wish I could just bury.

"Hello, Lia and Lilith, it's been a long time."

I looked at the man who talked behind us and when he reached his chair where his table is in front, he sat down. I couldn't help myself, but to remember memories I didn't want to remember anymore.

I sighed so heavily and I looked around the place. I think, this is Edward's office because of the picture frame I saw on the table. Edward is the head of this mental hospital and this is the reason why he insists to pay all of the expenses when I start to stay in here.

"How are you beautiful ladies?" Edward asked the both of us as if his words can make us feel okay.

"We are fine, as you can see. Right?" Lia said and looked at me, trying to convince me to say that I am really okay.

I just laughed secretly. I didn't say anything because it is obvious that I am not okay. If only she knew how many times I tried to feel fine, maybe she won't bother herself to convince me anymore.

"So, how is it, Edward? Do you really think that Lilith will be okay after she confines here?" my sister asked the man sitting in front of us.

"I planned everything for her already. She has a own bed and a room, I will be the one to look upon her too. I'll make sure that she will be back to herself. I know what she has been through and if I were the one on her position too, I will lose my sanity also."

When I heard what Edward said, I started to feel mad. I am all aware that I am not fine mentally and emotionally, but I am not insane.

"Fuck you," I directly said to him.

Lia change her face and she looked at me as if she can't believe that I have said those words towards Edward. I bit my lip and my hands started to tremble.

"Leave me alone!" I shouted.

Lia and Edward started to feel nervous when they saw what I did. I am feeling it again, I can't control myself and it feels like I don't own my body anymore. It moves the way it wants and when I saw the pen on the table, my right hand moved fast and grabbed it. I pointed it to Edward when he's about to walk towards the place I am standing now.

"Stop!" I tried to stop him, but he didn't listen to me.

He pushed himself to reach me, the reason why I continued to step backwards. My eyes move to the place where Lia was standing. She looks scared and confused at the same time. I could see in her eyes that she feels disappointed in all of my actions that is why I calm myself.

I threw the pen somewhere and when they saw that I have no weapon anymore, they both reached me and grabbed both of my hands. I laughed so hard as if I made a joke that is so much funny.

"Don't you ever do that again," Lia said to me while looking straightly to my eyes.

They let me sit down on the chair, and when they saw that I am more okay now, they just let me and they both back to the place where they sit before the time I became crazy.

"Sorry for what happened, Edward. You know the reason why she became like that."

I felt the sadness of my sister's voice, but I couldn't even help myself so how am I going to comfort her? I can't even make myself feel fine.

"I understand that is why I am going to take care of her. Rest assured," Edward said to my sister.

"Is it fine if I leave you know?" My sister holds my hand and looked at me as if she's about to say her last goodbye.

I pity myself for what happened and what is going to happen. If I was just strong enough, I will never be in this kind of situation where I can't control myself. They all think that I should be in here and I have no choice, but to listen to them.

"What will going to happen to me if you leave me here?" I asked her.

I'm still hoping that she will change her mind because I know for myself that this place is not right for me. She is the only person that is left to me.

I saw the sorrow in Lia's eyes and it makes me feel guilty. She didn't want this and she also has no choice, because of my condition.

"Sorry, Lilith. I have to do this. I want you to be okay and I want you to feel that you're going to be okay. I will visit you once a week, don't worry."

She just smiled at me and she holds me even tighter. Knowing her, I know there's no way for her to change her mind. Maybe, I will really spend every moment of my life here in this mental hospital.

"Okay, make sure you'll come and visit me once a week. Keep your words," I said as I accepted her decision.

I don't want to be a burden to her that is the reason why I'm going to stay here, for good, I guess. I just hope that I will be okay as soon as possible.

I don't want this loneliness eat the whole me.