Novels by Joshua Wolfe

By the time Sebastian arrives in the visiting room, and sits on the opposite, across the mirror that separates the two of us, he looks rather concerned than frightened. He is accompanied by two uniformed officers and handcuffs limit his hands from unnecessary movements. The bright orange of the inmate uniform he wears glows, but his face doesn't. Our eyes meet for a moment before he decides to sit down. He drops his eyes in visible guilt. I almost cried watching wearing that outfit and in handcuffs. Sebastian wasn't like this a few months ago. He used to be the charming, charismatic, outgoing and nice vocalist who once colored my life. And now his life is dull. He looks tired and pale, and wrinkles begin to form on his face in just a matter of days. And yes I said 'he used to'. Implying something that went down the drain miserably. It's horrifying how one person's life can change in an instant. I grab the telephone hanging against the wall, putting it next to my ear. I wait for

The last glimpse I gave to sleeping Jordan is when I prepared to take off. He was sleeping comfortably and as if in a beautiful dream. I would admit I was hesitating that time and had the urge to rather go back to sleep with him than do this stupid mission. And now I'm on one of the villagers boats and managed to convince him to take me back to New York which is roughly fifteen minutes of sailing from the island. The cold wind that touches the sea before waffling against my face makes me shiver. The same way it makes me as I predict how my mission will end. I needed to sneak from Jordan. I know damn well he won't let me go get my stuff and say my last farewell to his brother. I know I need to do it myself. Who knows what Jordan might do if he goes instead.I won't lie that I'm still having anxiety. Mainly about how Sebastian would react. Would he beat me like what he did a few days ago? Is he doing smoothly by now? The time should be enough for him to clear his mind right? Or is it? I

Love never felt this strong. The wanting, yearning and longing for nothing but his general existence is one struggle I won't hesitate to take over and over again. Jordan for the second time awakened something deep within me I never knew existed until it bloomed, and when I realized it, it was way too late. He has already taken captive my heart, and I doubt he ever has plans to let it go. But I can live with that. In fact I'd even encourage him to do so. Jordan carved my heart, let it go because of failure and was found by his brother. But his brother was not a keeper. Sebastian treated me with no importance. And now the carved heart has finally made its way back again. Perhaps I really was meant to be his. Perhaps it was all a test of time, a test of how great the emotions we shared before. So many things love can affect. Just like how more exciting and pleasurable making love with him has become. He felt so eager, so hungry and full of passion. Not like the rough and selfish sex we

In your adult days—that span where you most likely first experienced a midlife crisis, were you still able to feel great excitement each day of your waking? The same kind of excitement we used to have when we were kids? The same excitement toddlers used to have that restricts them from sleeping? The kind of excitement that seems to highlight the color of your life you weren't expecting the kind of glow was possible? The adrenaline, the consistent and uncontrollable innocent grin and the tippy toes that just seem to not know how to calm down? That kind of excitement? I hope you still did. Because in my case…I do. I open my eyes, blurry and wet and glinting with a strange gleam. This is the first day this year where I am actually looking forward to the day. I actually feel energetic. I must have had a long and undisturbed sleep because I am feeling like I'm in a different body. A new body. But perhaps it's not the body that's new. For years of being in my adult lifespan, I have never f

“Can you walk?” Jordan asks as he guides me up from the bed. I force my feet myself up with every effort that I look like a simple stand is difficult to do. “Yeah. I’m alright,” I reply, enduring the prickling sensation all over my legs. He maintains his assistive hand on mine until I finally stand tall on my feet. The whole thing feels like an achievement. As if standing is something I have never done since the day I was born. I let out a long gasp of relief—the same manner as a thirsty traveler finally drinking water. “That wasn't so bad at all.” I grin, which in response he imitates. “Are you sure you want to walk around? You know you have to take some rest first, right?” says Jordan.“Laying down for the whole day won't help me get over what happened. I'll just end up thinking about it. I need something to occupy myself with,” I reason.“And you think in that state of yours you can do something other than walk?”Before I can ever reply, my limbs suddenly explode in weakness.Be

Confusion and consciousness seems to collapse over me at the awakening of my eyes. The display appears foggy and blurry and as if the world becomes nothing but a Merry-go-round—spinning and spinning, until it finally reaches to the point of my clear vision. A sting quickly triggers the nerves above my eyes as if it's my brows that somehow caused it. My body feels weak and dead and as if I've been in a coma longer than I have ever lived. As if heavy weights laid organized in every part of my body, except for my head. My spine feels stiff because with every effort I give to sit down, I just end up in a series of helpless gasps. I blink my eyes several times, further adjusting my view in focus.I look around. The surrounding is familiar, looking straight out from a place I believe I have been before. A wealthy guy's bedroom, with dark walls and ceilings mostly adored by those ruthless gangsters. The bedroom is abnormally large—as large as Sebastian and I used to live in. That's right. N