Lahat ng Kabanata ng The Boyfriend App : Kabanata 51 - Kabanata 60
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Chapter 50: The Tree of Lost Kids
{Where are you, Ecto?} Kate’s seven years old again. She’s entering the hollow of the notorious and oh so creepy banyan tree in the neighborhood. The tree, or the supporting one inside it, will be completely uprooted by Typhoon Haiyan in 2013, but seven-year-old Rapunzel Kate Lapuz doesn’t know that yet. Outside of Concepcion Integrated Technology School (CITS), where the creek reigns supreme, the banyan tree is the fount of all horror stories and the ominous backdrop of Kate’s superstition and imagination-pumped childhood. With its tentacly aerial roots, like the tangled hair of a 20-meter-tall Sadako – rife with split ends and poised to snatch unwitting kids – the banyan tree plays a central role in the folk and urban legends of most Philippine communities. The inner caves and passages are believed to be the domain of fairies, dwarves and gnomes and to trespass is a grave offense punishable by black-magick curses. “Tabi, tabi po,” Kate says under her breath. It’s the phrase her m
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Chapter 51: Summer (Boot) Camp
Kate jackknifes into a sitting position. She’s soaked in sweat. Her eyes try to penetrate the dark to find something familiar – perhaps her favorite fleece blanket, the LOVE BTS night lamp that her Pa gave her on her 15th birthday, or even the hump of her ma who occasionally sleeps next to her: stout, huggable and reassuring. A pang of homesickness grips her heart for her ma’s scent of body soap, rose and freshly pressed laundry; the same scent that has been protecting her for seventeen years like her very own ozone layer against all the bad things in the world, including thunder, White Ladies and bad dreams. But tonight, there isn’t to be any such comfort for Kate because she’s in an alien room on a nondescript bed. Pale moonlight is spilling in and, for a moment of disorientation and alarm, the shadow of the soursop tree scratching the window appears to be waving at her from inside the room. The whole place looks as foreign as moonscape. Kate shivers, hugs her legs, and presses he
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Chapter 52: Call of Duty
When Kate was first dropped off by Camp Unplugged’s company van to become part of the second batch of “campers”, she thought the drive up the mountain road was exhilarating, what of the breathtaking volcano-con-lake vista and the ziggy-zaggy hairpin turns and blind curves, checked only by guardrails from a plunge down a ravine. When they arrived at the Courtyard and the particular street where Camp Unplugged rents its five adjacent houses, she thought she had stepped into a fairytale book because of the houses. One had bumblebee-yellow façade, shamrock roof and white window frames. The fairy tale ended there because soon she was provided three sets of Camp Unplugged’s official uniform and told that the laundry days are Wednesday and Saturday. The uniform is a polo shirt; pink for the girls paired with a knee-length pleated white skirt and light blue for the guys paired with pleated trousers. On the upper left chest of each shirt Camp Unplugged’s logo has been heat-pressed: the image o
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Chapter 53: The Drill Sergeant
Colonel Anders’s name isn’t really Colonel Anders. First off, his rank is just a Master Sergeant. Second, his full name is Wenceslao ANDRES Alunan. Everybody just calls him Colonel Anders after the KFC founder on account of his being "Ander Da Saya" – literally “under the skirt”. No matter how ferocious he is to his cadets, he’s always meek and a yes man in front of Ms. Perfect (not her real name). Ms. Perfect is camp vice-president, camp counsellor and all-around Thanos. Colonel Anders has a ruptured eardrum sustained not from a firefight or anything but from hazing when he was still in the Army barracks. Now he’s an early retiree and is the sole Military Service instructor of Camp Unplugged’s small and fledgling ROTC unit. Because of his handicap, he has retained and in fact worsened the habit of speaking 30 decibels higher and showering you in spittle. His favorite phrases, as parodied countless times behind his back, are: “Gutdemit!” (Goddammit) “Stik tu da wol!” (Stick to the wal
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Chapter 54: Somewhere There's a Ma
Majority of the campers are boys because game addiction is their thing – to be exact, Dungeon Raydens-addiction. Dungeon Raydens is a sandbox-style MMORPG that’s a one-stop-shop for a lot of things. Kate remembers that, when Ecto was still around (darn, it hurt to think that), they did almost everything there except PvP and the MOBA-esque Battle Royale end game, which Ecto abhorred for their violence. They studied together in Academia mode to learn life skills such as alchemy, wizardry, trading, cooking and so on. They built their own house in Open World and then had it transplanted to Utopia, where housing was instanced but you could open your home to the public. This way, she and Ecto could play house and play shop at the same time with their NPC butler named Alfred. They purchased and raised their pet Direffin (Direwolf + griffin) named Max (short for Maximus Aurelius). They hunted, tamed and rode various mounts like dragons and unicorns, and used fake IDs at the Inn of Bedlem in t
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Chapter 55: The Beginning of the End
Kate’s confession finally happened one night when her ma was lying on Kate’s bed; something Mrs. Lapuz had taken to doing again when the memory of the cataclysmic after-prom was still fresh in Kate’s mind, resulting in consecutive bad dreams of facing Josh and his gang and, more tragically, losing Ecto. Kate had woken up drenched in sweat, her heart hammering in her chest, and her ma calmed her down by rubbing her back first with a towel and then with Mrs. Lapuz’s own calloused hands. Kate recalled the countless times her ma did that whenever she had a cold or a cough as a kid. The touch alone was enough to evoke in her the smell of Vicks VapoRub, another of her ma’s signature homey scents. “Why do you keep calling out the puppy’s name in your sleep?” Mrs. Lapuz whispered when Kate had calmed down a little. “Do I?” Kate asked innocently. “I don’t remember.” That was only partly true. Weeks after the incident, Kate had gone back to living her normal life both at home and at school
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Chapter 56: The Last of the Analogs
“All right, well, let’s see… in a typical province, you’ll see plenty of green: trees, shrubs, flowers, a paddy field in your own backyard. There, we only had earth that turns to mud come the rainy season. And maybe some basalt pebbles that we gathered from the nearby beach and added to our patio. “Utility poles were few and far between and easily knocked down by typhoons, so huge swathes of land were unlit and most denizens hurried to be home by nightfall. And between kerosene lamps and flashlights, the dark was absolute indeed. Like a sea of ink. Or rather, like the end of the world had come in the form of two conical hats pressed bottom to bottom and brim to brim. I guess that’s why superstitions and folk stories were so persistent. “The hub of life in our village was a solitary mom-and-pop store owned by the wife of a retired merchant seaman. The family had a stainless Willys MB jeep that they hauled supplies on from what was already the nearest and biggest market at ten kilomete
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Chapter 57: Double Vision
Kate has to cut her reminiscing short because the homesickness is getting real. They’ve also finished the day’s march and are now on their way back to the dorms. Colonel Anders yells “GRAAAAPA SHARK!” for the umpteenth time and every cadet mutters “Doo doo doo” while slouched like deflated balloons. Kate thinks that if even just a single Fitbit was allowed in camp, it would probably tell them that they had taken over 6K steps today. What no wearable would be able to monitor though is how two cadets (one boy and one girl; those who missed breakfast) had to be left behind on the side of the street and one boy (Nathan) threw yet another tantrum by shouting back at Colonel Anders: “You’re not my father!” The last cost them 50 push-ups as a group. That’s one thing you need to learn about military service training in Camp Unplugged: One cadet’s sin is everyone’s Calvary. Contrary to the lesson that Colonel Anders wants to teach, this tradition actually connects with and feeds the hate cult
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Chapter 58: Meet the Lapuzes
In the past, you could see everything there was to see, or everything the Filipino family wanted you to see, at the altar of school diplomas posted on the wall of every Filipino home. These days, the wall has of course become virtual and the diplomas have borne fruit – of sorts. You can tell more about a Filipino family by looking at the gadgets and appliances they own (or are paying off in installments); which also say a thing or two about consumerism and the warped value of “keeping up with the Cruzes” in the typical Filipino family. In the case of the Lapuzes, they have a fridge and toaster but no microwave or blender, an ABS-CBN TVplus TV box (with eternally lousy GMA-7 signal!) but no cable, three electric fans and no AC. They don’t have a washing machine and have resolved to do the laundry by hand. They have a rice cooker and a stovetop kettle with the steam whistle, an iron and an ironing board (locally known as a “horse”) and a stove that’s fueled by an LPG cylinder. They hav
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Chapter 59: The Gearhead
At the garage, Mr. Lapuz would sometimes wonder about the complex electricals of street race-modified cars and all the modern sensors and on-board computers. Frankly, in Elmer’s Auto Repair where he works, they often lack the proper tools (for a while, they didn’t have a torch) and have to do with outdated ones. They have this hankering for old-school ways and MacGyver means. But they valued experience over education and Mr. Lapuz learned all the tricks of the trade as an apprentice. He clawed his way up to senior mechanic. He didn’t go to university or take a technical program at TESDA. He’s more of a gut-feel than a computer-diagnosis mechanic, but what he most certainly isn’t is a parts-replacement mechanic like some of those “Master Automobile Technicians”. Despite their fancy diplomas and certificates, they don’t know a thing about carburetors and they can’t fix a car that doesn’t have a port to plug their computers into. They always have to wait for a computer screen to tell the
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