your momma so fat jokes

"I, Nikolai Kensington, will make you so rich, you'll walk on money. I'll place you above your enemies and make them worship at your feet. You'll no longer be known as the timid Adira, but you'll become known as one of the most powerful women in the country." Those were the words that changed Adira's life forever. Adira Ravenswood was heartbroken when Lancelot divorced her to be with his second lover. They had been friends from childhood, so she had loved him so dearly and didn't know how to move on without him. While Lancelot was from a very rich home, Adira was very poor, and she felt that was part of the reasons he had quit the marriage. Everyone ridiculed her, Lancelot's mother froze her accounts so she couldn't have access to the money she had gotten from him. Adira's own family mocked and looked down on her. They said she could never amount to anything. Adira was broken and dejected and was at the verge of taking her life when the most powerful, but cold-hearted man in the country showed up and offered her a juicy proposal - one that would make her trample on every single person that's ever hurt her. But it came with a condition - a condition that was very easy, yet so difficult.

Siya yung tipo ng babae na exaggerated mag-isip. Sobrang layo ang nararating ng utak niya, sweet at mabait pero may pagkatang* at childish nga lang siya. Yun ba'ng lagi nalang siya nasasabit sa gulo dahil sa pagiging down to the highest level niya'ng mag-isip. She's Amie Hera Madrigal. What if dahil sa katangahan nito ay makikilala niya ang hindi inaasahang tao? A man that might think every girls dream. Isa lang naman ito sa pinakasucessfull businessman. Nah, scartch that. Isang aroganteng tao. A man who hates stupid people the most. That man is King Alexander Jauqez, a boss from hell. He is worst than a control freaking dictator. He is the saboteur of office romance, and no one ever dare to obey him. May pag-asa kaya na magkasundo silang dalawa? Ngayon pa at parehas nilang kailangan ang isa't isa o mauuwi ito sa walang hangganang bangayan? May pag-asa ba na mabuo ang salitang "Love"? Is there really a happy ending in every story? Or not every story has one?

"What's wrong with us making love Clark? I.. I like you, kaya anong mali sa gagawin natin?" Halos manginig ang kanyang boses. He smile weakly saka inayos muli ang kanyang roba. "Someday you'll going to thank me for not making love with you tonight." Iyon lang at tuluyan na itong tumalikod at tinungo ang pinto. "No Clark.." She whisper. Papalabas na ito. "Someday you'll going to regret not making love with me tonight." Puno ng pait na sambit niya. -----<<>>----- Hanggang saan ang kaya mong tiisin para sa pag-ibig? Ano ang kaya mong ibigay para sa pagmamahal? Paano kung ginawa mo na ang lahat ay hindi pa rin sapat? Arabella Santana, the sole heiress of Don Armando Santana, a billionaire magnate. Spoiled rotten by her father. What Arabella wants... Arabella gets. But not Simon Clark Dela Fuente. Tahasan pa rin nitong tinanggihan ang kanyang pag-ibig kahit handa niyang ibigay ang lahat-lahat.

Jack Lewis, the son-in-law of Matthew Williams and CEO of Williams Corporation asks his subordinate to marry a girl with whom he fell in love at first sight. Being already married, he could only have her mistress. So he offers $10 million to his assistant as he says, " After you marry her, you will give her to me because your wife is mine."

Bahkan dari awal pertemuan pun, keduanya telah memiliki keterkaitan satu sama lain. Setelah beribu usaha yang sudah semesta kerahkan, ini saatnya untuk menyatukan keduanya. Banyak hal yang tidak disadari keduanya, jika memang keduanya pantas untuk disandingkan bersama. Terlalu sering terjadinya pertikaian karena kesalahpahaman antara keduanya, tak membuat semesta berhenti untuk menyatukan mereka. Inilah cerita Raditya dan Adinda yang menjadi hasil tangan indah sang semesta.

"Should I help you take off your pants, Mr. Nicolas?" offered Dianne innocently, she meant it because she was worried that her boss would find it difficult. "Are you crazy? I can do it myself!" Nicolas exclaimed in an embarrassed tone. Dianne scowled in a bad mood. "I'm just offering, there's no need to be upset." "I know, even though you might have seen me naked because we had sex before, but still I don't remember anything about you," Nicolas said with a face that was now as red as a tomato. Dianne did not comment, she immediately closed the toilet door and waited behind it while grumbling. "Had sex with him? Ridiculous!" ----------------------------- This is Dianne Rosallee's 100th day working as an apprentice secretary at the Buenos Solar Company, but the girl is very fed up with her boss, Nicolas Gauthier. Nicolas Gauthier is a symbol of ruthlessness and arrogance. The main director of the Buenos Solar Company hates even the slightest mistake made by his employees. He is typically a perfectionist, which makes his employees difficult and emotional stress. Dianne Rosallee is no exception. Dianne Rosallee is a symbol of hatred and determination. Her revenge to Nicolas led Dianne to another complicated and crazy problem. There is a dangerous enemy that is lurking and threatening their lives. The term 'Love Blossoms in the Middle of War' seems to apply to Nicolas and Dianne. But, why is a bitter secret revealed when the both of them have shared feelings for each other?

"I don't do relationships Miss Williams. I don't love. I just fu**. Is that what you want fom me so that you stop following me?" His straightforward question made her turn hundred shades red,the word he used enough to lower her gaze and burn her insides in a new swirl of emotion. "No" She manages to whisper.To only have him dip his face closer to her. "Then stay the fuc* away from me Miss Williams. Because I am only going to break your heart." Stepping back from her,he was going to leave when he stops in his tracks listening to her reply. His fists clenching. "This is what I like the most about you Your Highness." "Your honesty."

Playing with fire! Addison Bryant has been Andrey Romanoff’s perfect Executive Assistant for five years, accommodating him to the extent of hiding her real personality behind a façade of calm efficiency. Her job from hell will soon be over. Ready to claim her life back and walk away from Lucifer itself, currently disguised as her boss, Addison plucks up the courage to say “Damn you! I quit!” Nothing has ever taken Andrey Romanoff by surprise… up until now. And the word ‘NO’ just isn’t part of his vocabulary. So, a resignation from his extraordinary Executive Assistant is absolutely unacceptable. Her place is with him, by his side… end of discussion! Addison heard all about his legendary charm, but now that it’s turned on her, she understands exactly why it’s so hard to say no to a man like Andrey Romanoff.

"Don't underestimate me!" She growled, pressing the knife against his neck on their wedding night. "Don't mistake my kindness for my weakness." "You look so hot pinning me against the wall and the knife pressing me against my neck," he smirked. ˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷ Weylin Turner, the vicious leader of the mafia organization 'The Black Panther' returned to England after fifteen years. At a party, he learned that his marriage was already fixed with the daughter of one of the most powerful mafia organizations in England. But on the day of the marriage, the bride didn't appear. To save his father's face, he immediately ordered his subordinates to find a bride for him. Suddenly his eyes fell on Garaine Jones, a cheerful caregiver at an orphanage. He couldn't help but take advantage of the situation. Finding her weakness, he compelled her to become his bride. To his surprise, she agreed to his terms and conditions easily. Little did he know that Garaine Jones wasn't some ordinary woman as he thought. She was something beyond his imagination. Did the predator himself become prey while chasing his fantasies?

When Evelyn fell in love with Ryan, the charming young Alpha, she thought that their love would be strong enough to resist the mate bond with their fated mates. Though she was an omega, she won over the trust and respect of the pack with her hard work. But her peaceful life turned to hell when a sudden war broke out and Ryan who was weaker without his fated mate beside him started losing in the war. To make matters worse, his fated mate appeared right when the entire pack turned against Evelyn who was the reason for their Alpha's weakness. With the whole world against them, can Evelyn and Ryan's love still stand strong? Or will the mate bond win in the end and will Evelyn lose Ryan?