witty jokes tagalog

If you are going to be BAD, then you have to do it the BAD way... It's pretty simple: 1) Don't get caught 2) Always have a Plan B 3) If all else fails... Run...Run for your life! Everyone has a bad side. Some try to deny it's existence, some hide it and others well...they rule the world with it. In the book of being BAD, there are ninety-nine formulas for world domination... Number one: You aren't BAD until you can walk around the school dressed in all pink and have everyone afraid to approach you. Number two: You aren't BAD until you can break into a certain bad boys house and well... do the wrong kinds of stuff. Number three: You aren't bad until quite frankly, you have declared vengeance against the bad boy. ~*~ "I heard you like bad boys," Blade says with a vivid smirk on his face. I glared up at him, without responding clenching my fists fighting the urge to punch him in the face. "So...?" He says after a couple of seconds of silence. "So what?" "So what do you think...Tinker Bell?" He says emphasizing on the stupid name. His face moved closer to mine and I stared back into his green eyes, watching the fire inside ignite. I smirked, "Then find me one." Blade grins at my witty retort and shrugs it off. "I look at you and I see cotton candy, but then you open your mouth... and suddenly you turn into liquorice," he scoffs. "Welcome to the game bitch, your move, now let's play."

"Stop right there, Evan! You can't fool me." Grace stretched out her hands to the right and left, preventing her best friend from leaving. "I know you're hiding something." Evan crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't be so confident. And please, know your place. I have the power to replace you with anyone else." He leaned toward her and whispered to her ear. "Or, are you trying to seduce me? How much is your rate for one night?" Upon hearing it, Grace gave him a smack across the face. She was silent for a moment in disbelief. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You're so mean, Evan. I-hate-you," she said, heartbroken. She turned away from him without further ado. Evan teared up too, looking at his best friend leaving. "I'm sorry, Grace. I had to do it. We can't be together," he said weakly. Grace and Evan became best friends after he saved her and her mother following a traffic collision. Their friendship grew stronger for years until they became inseparably fond of each other. However, fate played jokes on them. They had to separate for years, lose contact and bury their dreams. When they finally reunited in the same workplace, everything was not the same as it used to be.

(Warning: Mature Content - R18 - Tagalog) Maia Asuncion hates Rafael Valiente. She always feels like he's stealing her something she ever wanted—her parents' attention. But despite that, romance emerged between them. Akala ni Maia ay magpapatuloy ang magandang relasyon nilang iyon. Ngunit nang nasangkot si Maia sa isang malaking eskandalo ay hinila niya sa putikan si Rafael at tinapon niya ang kung anong namamagitan sa kanila. Hurt and desperate, she ruined his name and dragged him to the dirt of shame, just to save her own. Ngunit matapos ang ilang taon, nagkrus muli ang landas nila. Maia and the now successful Engineer Rafael Valiente ended up in a messy agreement. Kalaunan, tumira sila sa iisang bubong. Paano humantong sa ganoon gayong may atraso si Maia sa lalaki at may nakaraan sila? And...what if they find themselves desiring each other in the middle of their set-up? Will they let their past and anger stop them? Will they let fire and lust consume them? Or will they forbid themselves from wanting each other? Just like what they did 5 years ago?

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?

Heiress Juliette Lux is finally getting married, in her dream dress. But the guests aren't her friends; the person walking her down the aisle isn't her father; and the man waiting at the altar, her soon-to-be husband, is someone she has never met until yesterday---Ralph Virtus, the son of her family's mortal enemy, the Mafia King, also notoriously known to many as The Devil. And he has stolen her entire family fortune. Say all he wants, but her father will never sell his multi-billion dollar business empire, the family's legacy. He certainly won't force his precious daughter to marry the enemy and have his heir. The contract is a farce. And Juliette will seek the truth and take back what's hers. But can she reclaim her stolen heart from the devillishly witty Mafia King ...

"We can never be close-" Ahankara said, but couldn't finish her sentence as the small of her back pressed against the water fountain, with Yashvir standing right in front of her. She sucked in a breath, feeling her heart beat pace. "You were saying?" Yashvir raised an eyebrow, taking one last step towards her, so that her body would touch his if either of them moved even in an inch towards each other. "We-we can never be close, Yuvraj," Ahankara replied, even though she felt her voice would disappear any second. "Get away from me." "Hmm, only time will tell that, Princess," Yashvir replied, now leaning towards her.- - - -Yashvir Rathore of Kalang is a fierce Prince, known to be cruel and vicious. Being the Crown Prince of the strongest Kingdom in the state, he has a million responsibilities to take care of, which has made him arrogant and bitter. He is engaged to a Princess from a strong kingdom, so she would eventually become his Queen and further strengthen his rule. Ahankara Singh of the small kingdom of Adibar, is not your average Princess. Not only is she ravishingly beautiful, but at the same time witty, talented, generous and proud of those qualities. There is only one thing she hates in the world more than cruelty: cruel kings. So what happens when one such King meets her by accident, and is immediately awestruck by her elegance and her beauty? Yashvir forgets everything about his engagement, and decides that he wants her, and no one can stop him from getting what he wants.We thus get a marriage of coercion, a fairy-tale of one sided love, drama, palace intrigues, a lot of romance, and a roller-coaster of emotions, forming the story of Yashvir and Ahankara - Of Flames and Roses.

Si Xerxes Santillan III o mas kilala bilang Tres ay isang magaling na CEO sa mismong family business nila. Kilala ang kanilang kompaniya sa bansa at halos lahat sa kaniya ay perpekto. Mabait, guwapo at supportive. Maliban do'n, maganda ang kaniyang buhay, at may maganda ring singer na girlfriend. Ngunit sa kabila ng perpekto niyang buhay ay hindi pa rin niya mapapayag ang babaeng minamahal sa isang kasal. Parati na lang siyang naghihintay at sumusuporta sa mga pangarap nito. "Babe, please give me one more chance. I'll make sure na after nitong crusade performance ko sa Italy, ay magpapakasal na tayo." sabi nito sa kaniya sa ika-apat na proposal niya kay Lian. Tinakbuhan lang naman siya nito at walang sabi na umalis patungong airport. "Pero ang sabi mo, after ng concert mo sa Paris ay sasagutin mo na ako." giit niya, pero hindi niya pinaalam na galit siya at dismayado. "I'm sorry, babe. Babawi ako sa'yo after, okay?" Kung kailan nakahanda na ang lahat ay saka naman ito aalis bigla. Mahal niya ito, kaya kahit anong pilit niya, kung mahal din nito ang pangarap nito, ay wala siyang ibang magagawa kundi ang mahalin rin ang pangarap nito. Sa kaparehong araw, namamalayan na lang ni Travis na kasal na siya at nagising sa isang kama na may kayakapan na ibang babae at walang saplot. Ano kaya ang magiging love story ni Travis, gayo'ng nagtaksil na siya sa kaniyang nobya?

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Just as she’s starting her new life in Las Vegas, she gets an urgent call to return home to Atlanta. Deila Barbson could be stubborn, witty…among other things but she wasn’t the rogue her family thought her to be so she answered with equal urgency oblivious to what awaited her— her past. She’s faced with the person that’s haunted her beautiful nightmares everyday for two years. Betrayed by her heart, she found herself running again from whom she still longed for as the very air she breaths. Breathing was as difficult as commitments. Would she stand unbroken or she melt under his touch? Time they said healed every wound so why did his heart still bleed at the sight of the woman that left him shattered sixteen months ago? Hard-headed as he was, James Martin felt open as if it were yesterday he got stood up on his planned proposal dinner. He wanted answers, from her, from himself; why didn’t he feel anger towards her for breaking his heart? Why was his heart still thudding with hope at the sight of her? Why did Deila still unman him as if he wasn’t the macho CEO that intimidated even the Mayor? And most importantly, why did she return? Behind the unwilling woman and broken man was the dark secret both their families shared. What would be keeping them apart? Their ego? Or the family secret? Warning: This book contains mature words and sexual encounters that aren't suitable for readers under the age of 18.

This isn't you're regular Alpha finds his Luna werewolf story, there's elemental powers, Vikings, royal bloodlines, secrets, prophecies, A touch of romance and who doesn't love a bit of drama. This story is for mature audience. Troy has been searching for his Mate for three years when his father tells him he is to be Mated to form a union between two packs in order to fight an army headed their way. What he doesn't know yet is the arranged Mating was planned well before he was born. When Octavia steps out of her purple Camaro, he wasn't expecting to see the most beautiful creature on earth. Octavia is the first of her kind, born of two Royal bloodlines causing her to possess immense power that she struggles to control. Will Troy be able to save Octavia from herself or will her powers consume her and destroy them all? stay tuned to see what the prophecy has instore for Troy and Octavia. --- He smiles at me "Like what you see princess?" Realizing I've been caught checking him out, I use my typical witty sarcasm that usually gets me out of awkward situations or in trouble, "That depends, did you like what you saw when I got out of my car?" I say with a wink.