tagalog jokes quotes

HIRE A WIFE BUT DON'T FALL IN LOVE! Ang isang tambay na kagaya ni Kassidy ay walang matino na pinag-aralan. Nakatira sila sa isang skwater kasama ang nanay niya na sugarol. Kadalasan ay nasa kalsada siya at nakikilaro sa mga ka-tambay niya na naging kaibigan niya na rin. Unlike the other girls, she dressed like a man. Malaki ang shirt, malaki ang short at may sombrero palagi. Mahilig siya kumain ng lollipop at masayahin siyang Babae kahit sa kabila ng pamumuhay nila. Parati siyang ipinapahamak ng ina niya sa iba't-ibang trabaho na ikinakainis niya, subalit gano'n man ang ina niya ay mahal niya ito at parating pinagbibigyan. Takot na baka magkautang na naman sila. Ngunit, papaano kaya kung ipasok siya ng nanay niya sa isang corporation na hindi niya alam? At isang araw ay may isang lalake na gusto siyang e-hire bilang asawa nito at wala siyang kaalam-alam sa klase ng trabaho na tatahakin niya? Mapapahiyaw nalang siguro siya sa inis lalo na kung malalaman niyang guwapo at appealing ang makakasama niya at magiging asawa pa niya talaga for 3 months! Kaya kaya nitong tunawin ang boyish niyang puso, at mapa-ibig sa ka-guwapohang charms nito?

He smirked, knowing he was on the winning side. "So it's a done deal for three months?" He raised his eyebrows, putting his hand forth for a handshake. I looked at the long fingers and perfectly aligned nails and then at his patient face. Sighing to myself I my own hand into his and ignored the tingles that flowed through every nerve as his fingers curled around my hand and shook it lightly. "Yeah three months." "Goodnight then." He winked, removing his hand from mine and turned to walk away. "Hey wait!" I called out, suddenly remembering something. "You don't have my number." "What makes you think that? I have my ways Smith." And with one last wink I saw him take a turn and disappear from my sight. I let out a long breath, leaning on the nearby wall. Looks like I just made a deal with the Devil. * A sarcastic girl, a cocky guy. Throw in some mystery, murder, filthy jokes, wonderful friends, tons of kisses, secrets, surprises, eye-rolls and a killer on run. And you have got yourself a story never read before. ***So grab a cup of hot chocolate, some chips and a warm blanket and get ready to laugh, cry and bite your lip in anticipation. Enjoy!!

She's perfect. Kind, beautiful, and hardworking. Scholar din siya sa isang prehistisyosong unibersidad na kilala bilang paaralan ng mga mayayaman. Marami ang nagkakahumaling sa kaniya, pero dahil sa mahirap siya, ay nalalait siya. Because a girl like her shouldn't be studying in a school na hindi ka level ng kaniyang estado sa buhay. Ilang beses at halos araw-araw na siyang binubully, pero dahil sa pangarap na gusto niyang maabot, nagtiis siya. But never did she knows na hindi lang iyon ang pagdadaanan niya. Isang araw, dumating ang SSC council president at nakita ang SSC secretary na pasimuno sa pambubully kay Hailey. Pinaglaban nito si Hailey at sinibak sa pwesto ang mapangahas na bully. Hindi lang 'yun, pinag drop out din sa school due to violence. Lubos ang galit ng mga bully kay Hailey. Dahil kay Hailey napasibak sila at napahiya. Kaya naman, sinet up nila si Hailey at ibenenta sa isang grupo sa bar. She was raped. Hindi niya alam kung sino. Hanggang sa isang hindi inaasahan na pangyayari, nasangkot siya sa isang situwasyon kung saan muntikan na niyang ikamatay. And someone happened to save her. She owed her life to him. But this man wants her as the collateral. Gusto siya nitong maging role play girlfriend nito para lang mapatigil ang ina nito sa kaka appoint ng mga babae. Pero papaano kung malaman niya na ang lalaking ito ay ang rapist niya pala no'ng gabing binenta siya at ng mismong ama ng kaniyang dinadala? Magagawa pa ba niyang mapatawad ito?

#mutual contain 18+only "you should go to the other room" he said She looked at him in shock its there first night. He was nervous and open his mouth to say something. After a while, he said "your father makes a deal with me that if I marry you he will give me half of his property. My company is in loss and I don't want to marry you coz I am not interested in you, you are not my type.i feel disturbed when you are around me!" It is all he said to her. She got up from bed and a hot tear escape from eye and she left his room. She did not said a word to him. *************************** Roya knight-she is good. Age=22 educated and shy in nature. She is rich but she is also black in color. She never wear something so revealing. Simple and always smile. And she is tall, slim, perfect body, and her eyes is most attractive. She has every good thing but only lack of personality is her color. Johnson Robin - He is handsome. Every girl dream about him. He has well built body. He has blue eyes and white men. He is men of his word. Age=27. He run huge business and he has so many girlfriend. Content and /or trigger warning :This story contains mature sexual content. Strong language ahead, adult jokes also. Which may trigger for some readers. You have been warned

"Stop right there, Evan! You can't fool me." Grace stretched out her hands to the right and left, preventing her best friend from leaving. "I know you're hiding something." Evan crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't be so confident. And please, know your place. I have the power to replace you with anyone else." He leaned toward her and whispered to her ear. "Or, are you trying to seduce me? How much is your rate for one night?" Upon hearing it, Grace gave him a smack across the face. She was silent for a moment in disbelief. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You're so mean, Evan. I-hate-you," she said, heartbroken. She turned away from him without further ado. Evan teared up too, looking at his best friend leaving. "I'm sorry, Grace. I had to do it. We can't be together," he said weakly. Grace and Evan became best friends after he saved her and her mother following a traffic collision. Their friendship grew stronger for years until they became inseparably fond of each other. However, fate played jokes on them. They had to separate for years, lose contact and bury their dreams. When they finally reunited in the same workplace, everything was not the same as it used to be.

(Warning: Mature Content - R18 - Tagalog) Maia Asuncion hates Rafael Valiente. She always feels like he's stealing her something she ever wanted—her parents' attention. But despite that, romance emerged between them. Akala ni Maia ay magpapatuloy ang magandang relasyon nilang iyon. Ngunit nang nasangkot si Maia sa isang malaking eskandalo ay hinila niya sa putikan si Rafael at tinapon niya ang kung anong namamagitan sa kanila. Hurt and desperate, she ruined his name and dragged him to the dirt of shame, just to save her own. Ngunit matapos ang ilang taon, nagkrus muli ang landas nila. Maia and the now successful Engineer Rafael Valiente ended up in a messy agreement. Kalaunan, tumira sila sa iisang bubong. Paano humantong sa ganoon gayong may atraso si Maia sa lalaki at may nakaraan sila? And...what if they find themselves desiring each other in the middle of their set-up? Will they let their past and anger stop them? Will they let fire and lust consume them? Or will they forbid themselves from wanting each other? Just like what they did 5 years ago?

Everybody is different. May it be with the way you look, your sexual orientation or your beliefs and culture. Tori Kingstein has always thought of herself as someone who’s different. She never liked boys. Yes, she's gay. Tori then was sent to her mum’s old school, an all-girls boarding school in hopes of her not getting herself a boyfriend at a young age. But jokes on her parents, cause she actually swings the other way around. And little did she know that entering Whistler High School for Girls would put her on a mission with other girls, like her who aren’t white, to end the discrimination, inequality, too much use of white privileges and the use of wealth and power to stay on top by some students, especially by the school's student council officers. After knowing this, Tori is set on finishing her mum's past role in this group—and that is to destroy the unfair treatment of the school and the student council to students who what they call “aren’t white and as rich as them”, but Tori has a secret. It’s just that... She might have a tiny bit of crush on the student council's president who's no other than Amelia Harriet Williams. What could go wrong, right?

Si Xerxes Santillan III o mas kilala bilang Tres ay isang magaling na CEO sa mismong family business nila. Kilala ang kanilang kompaniya sa bansa at halos lahat sa kaniya ay perpekto. Mabait, guwapo at supportive. Maliban do'n, maganda ang kaniyang buhay, at may maganda ring singer na girlfriend. Ngunit sa kabila ng perpekto niyang buhay ay hindi pa rin niya mapapayag ang babaeng minamahal sa isang kasal. Parati na lang siyang naghihintay at sumusuporta sa mga pangarap nito. "Babe, please give me one more chance. I'll make sure na after nitong crusade performance ko sa Italy, ay magpapakasal na tayo." sabi nito sa kaniya sa ika-apat na proposal niya kay Lian. Tinakbuhan lang naman siya nito at walang sabi na umalis patungong airport. "Pero ang sabi mo, after ng concert mo sa Paris ay sasagutin mo na ako." giit niya, pero hindi niya pinaalam na galit siya at dismayado. "I'm sorry, babe. Babawi ako sa'yo after, okay?" Kung kailan nakahanda na ang lahat ay saka naman ito aalis bigla. Mahal niya ito, kaya kahit anong pilit niya, kung mahal din nito ang pangarap nito, ay wala siyang ibang magagawa kundi ang mahalin rin ang pangarap nito. Sa kaparehong araw, namamalayan na lang ni Travis na kasal na siya at nagising sa isang kama na may kayakapan na ibang babae at walang saplot. Ano kaya ang magiging love story ni Travis, gayo'ng nagtaksil na siya sa kaniyang nobya?

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I stare at her while she's bent down. "Are you deaf?" I asked her again and she didn't answer me. "Hey!" I can't stop myself from shouting at her because I think she doesn't know how to speak. Napahawak ako sa aking ulo dahil tanging pag-iyak lamang ang tanging sagot niya sa lahat ng taong ko. I rested and looked at her. "Anong pangalan mo?" I ask her in Tagalog words because maybe she's not understand me. "J-Judy p-po S-Senyorito," she answered me while she's shaking. Now I understand that she doesn't understand me if I speak English. I can't stop from smelling and thinking what punishment I should do to her. Because she's my slave at isa siya sa pagmamay-ari kong alipin.