tagalog fish jokes

My mother-in-law, Eleanor, was having a heart attack, and my husband, Ben Dover—a heart surgeon—was the only one who could save her. Did I call him? Nope. I just stood there, watching her gasp like a fish out of water. In my last life, I'd begged Ben to come save her. He brushed me off, accusing me of interrupting his time with his mistress, Ima Schit. No matter how much I pleaded, he wouldn't come. Eleanor had died in the hospital. And when Johnny, my father-in-law, demanded answers, Ben flipped the script, saying I'd never even called. He made Eleanor's death my fault. Johnny, blinded by grief and fury, killed me. But plot twist—I woke up. Right back to the day this circus started.

"What would you be needing my help for?" I asked, curious. "Do you remember those times when we were little…whenever I do something wrong in our class, you always come forward pretending to be me and receive my punishment?" He asked, and I hummed in agreement. "And do you remember those times when I couldn't read for any exams and I was scared to fail, you would pretend to be me and write the exams for both of us and no one knew because we were so identical?" "Yeah, but where are you heading with all of this?" "I want you to do the same thing for me again." Nolan said, getting me more confused. "What exactly is it for you?" "I want you to pretend to be me and get married to Savannah, it will only be for some time till i'm really ready to face the responsibility of marriage." He said. I burst out laughing so hard that my stomach hurts. What he just said sounded so funny, he is really good at making jokes. "What's funny?" "Sor…Sorry, your jokes are just so funny." I said, trying to control my laughter. "What joke? This is no joke Nate, I am being serious. Think of it as a substitute, you will substitute for me till i'm ready." He said, looking all serious. He wasn't joking. He has gone mad!

Book 2 Princess Rori Sinclair has lived her whole life in the Palace or at the Mystical Academy. Her every movement is watched and is lived in a fish bowl with paparazzi taking photographs. Her life lived under the gaze of the public. Growing up she had close friends but something always drew her to her best friend Ben. As a twin has a close tie to her brother but even that pales in comparison to her need to be near Ben. Then suddenly Ben changes and like all the men in her life becomes controlling. Overnight her world crumbles, she had never liked the idea of mates she didn't want another person in her life with a claim over her that could change and hurt her. He knew her better than any one but that was before. Ben has always known on some level Rori was his mate. He felt something at sixteen but she was just fourteen so he needed to give her space. He had no choice but to distance himself from her. A push and pull dynamic developed between them. Now Ben has to fight his possessive nature, find a way to mend what he destroyed with Rori and give his mate the freedom she wants. The way to happiness is blocked by many hurdles, can a pampered Princess settle for a life with a working Alpha Bear in a rural place? Will a werewolf Princess even make a good Luna Bear? But more importantly can she stand firm with him against the threat of the hunters and an enemy with a grudge? The Royal Green wolf series. Book 1 The Alpha and the lost Celtic Princess Book 2 The Princess and the Bear.

Prisca, alias Prisca Ese Gideon, is a fast-rising diva who gets into trouble after photos and videos of herself being intimate with her boyfriend gets leaked on the internet. Her fame and success in the music industry begins to crumble. Her family dissociates from her, she loses many big money endorsement deals, and worse of all, she loses her fan base. The public now sees her as a sex object, making fun and dirty jokes about her. Due to these actions, she isolates herself from the public, vowing to herself never to speak to anyone or have a personal relationship with any person in particular. Months after her rock-bottom escapades, she finds love in the hands of a die-hard fan, Diri, who helps her get back at her boyfriend, Clem (sound engineer of S.K. records, the same record label Prisca was signed into) and helps her get over her rock bottom experiences.

The story of 'EVERY WOMAN CANNOT BE PRETTY' is a message to millions of women around the world who feel inferior due to their average looks that ‘ Beauty is not in the face alone.’ The protagonist in this story, Sarah Liam suffers from PCOS ( Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) with side effects of being obese, acne prone and having more than normal hair growth on face and body. To top it she is short in height and has a prominent mole on her chin. In all, she is not what one can call “pretty”. Her husband wants to use her as a sex toy, her best friend betrays her trust by sleeping with her husband. Faced with treachery by loved ones, shunned by many, at the brunt of the unkindest of jokes, the story shows how Sarah manages to rise like a Phoenix, hold her head high and eke revenge on the people who have cheated her, solely with the strength of her talent and grit. But with her flawed appearance, will she ever find true love? Can she ever aspire to marry a handsome man or will she have to settle for someone similarly flawed? Read on..

Jason Peters was a fifteen year old boy in high school. He was a victim of severe bullying by his mates in school. Unknown to him, he had hidden werewolf powers that first manifested when he tried to defend himself from a bully known as Jones Hardy. Jones Hardy was immediately hospitalised after the incident. Two more defense fights led to the expulsion of Jason Peters. He finally became aware of his strange powers and began to unravel facts about himself. In the long run, he got into another school and got involved in a full blown out fight with a boy over a classmate of Jason's whom the both were crushing on at the same time. The boy finally got hospitalised just like Jones Hardy. Jason Peters got expelled again leaving his parents distraught about the whole situation. But unknowingly his dad gave out a hint about the family's long werewolf history. Jason decided to find the truth about his superpowers. He found out and confronted his father about it. Mr George Peters succumbed and told his son everything. Jason was persuaded by his father to take an antidote that would help relieve him of the remaining werewolf curse, but he was not having it. He found out about a school for werewolves in an old city and ran off with his father's credit card to the school to get himself enrolled. He was not going to hide who he was, rather he would use his powers for the good of his society. He wanted to create a world where humans and werewolves could coexist. A new adventure began in his new school. He began life afresh, and worked hand in hand with law enforcement agents to fish out criminals, which led to the fulfillment of his dreams.

Lucinda, a crime investigator officer, lost her best friend to the hands of death. Her friend was brutally murdered and sexually assaulted. The Alpha of her pack assigned her the job to fish out the murderer in less than a week because the case has become a big one. No one felt safe. She was on her assignment when she met her mate whom she felt safe with. They had a sudden attraction to one another and fell in love at first sight.  But what happens next when Lucinda discovered that her Mate murdered her best friend. Her Mate was the Alpha of Crescent Pack. Will she choose her work over her Mate? A hard decision to take, right.  Lucinda wasn't sure whether the moon goddess would grant her a second chance mate. Sex in the limousine made her forget her mission but what happens when she discovers her Mate isn't who she think he is and he has a wife already? A wife that he loves so much and cares about. She went through so many assaults that she wondered whether the moon goddess had forgotten about her. But do you think she has?  "You're gonna be my sex toy. You think I will let you reveal my secrets". He growled at her.

Roxanne Rowan is a spiritual news editor. After an accident in the year twenty-two, Roxanne Rowan was able to see ghosts. She goes around trying to find a way to solve this ability. Her fear of ghosts makes her taciturn and closed off. During an encounter with evil spirits, Roxanne met Egan Griffith, the demon employee of hell. He has the task of catching the demons that are causing trouble in the living world to bring them to hell and punish them. According to the orders of the spirit world, if Roxanne wants to break the ability to see ghosts in her eyes, she must cooperate with Egan to catch the devil spirits. The contract is signed and many bad jokes happen. Roxanne's fate and secret are also revealed. She also realizes that demons come in two forms: disrupting people in the living world and trying to earn money in order to survive like a normal person. Every night, Roxanne has to lie in bed waiting for Egan to finish processing the documents for the company. She doesn’t think from an unequal partnership to rolling in bed so close together.

He's the rich, handsome, ruthless alpha heir who wouldn't even spare her a glance. And she’s the girl who secretly crushed on him for years. Azaria Brooke had spent years crushing on her best friend’s older brother Nicholas Sinclair, the pack’s alpha heir. He was a well-known bad boy she-wolves wanted. He lived life on his terms, breaking hearts and rules alike but he had never looked her way. Nicholas on the other had known Azaria was his mate since the moment he caught her scent. But mating means weakness, and weakness has no place in his world. He’s spent years denying the bond, ignoring the fire that burns every time she’s near. He had his reasons and they were valid. Until the night she was attacked. He must choose: break every rule he’s ever set for himself, or risk losing her forever. But then again Azaria was furious. How could he keep this from her when he knew she was the butt of jokes in the Pack? She had refused to forgive him. Now will she forgive him and accept his proposal for a quick marriage to find secrets surrounding her birth and about the woman she calls her mother, who is now a terror in the whole of lycanthropy or will she listen to her Best friend who says her brother is no good for her.

To fulfill his sister's birthday wish, Anthony - a billionaire CEO who loves privacy perfection and orderliness - has to accommodate Vivian, a stubborn lady who doesn't care about details and is used to chaos. They start out as enemies, fighting over every little thing but they have no choice - Anthony has to fulfill his sister's birthday wish, and Vivian has nowhere to go as her parents sent her packing. Slowly, they begin to see the good in each other, and that they aren't all that bad after all. From small talks and jokes, they progress to filling in as dates for the other, until they fall in love. But Vivian didn't disclose everything about her reason for being disowned and sent away by her parents, Until her past and her arranged husband begins to haunt her. Will their love stand the test of time? Only one way to find out!