super funny jokes

It all starts when a Paleontologist gets the right to search for new dinosaur fossils on top of a mountain. They do find new fossils, but they did not expect what they found hidden underground. Soon, all hell will be let loose in a world that has forgotten how to deal with true evil. Dr. Michael Andrews tries to harness evil for good. Will it work? Will Kimberly Tyler help stop the evil that has become Dr. Michael Andrews, or they embrace it?

Usually girls loves to shop and paint their nails. But not for Valerie Hernandez. Unlike every other girls, she loves dealing with cars. She could even spend hours in the garage. This year will be Valerie last year in high school. The thought of her graduating with her boyfriend and best friend bring a smile to her face. Unexpectedly, a new student is transferring to her school. Once she laid eyes on him, she know her senior year won't go as smoothly as she thinks. What happen when Valerie and the the new student became friend? Will she feel annoyed or the exact opposite? Knowing Valerie has a boyfriend, can she choose between the two of them?

"...there will be no other men, I'm a very possessive stalker..." he breathed his words heavily while biting my ear. "Luka...please..." I moaned my words and thrust my hips as his fingers pleased me, taking me higher with each stroke. "Say it...say that you will be mine..." My mind was clouded by lust, but somehow I knew that I was already his. that I wanted no one else since he kissed me. "...yours, I will be yours, I am yours..." my hand caressed his hair and he was back to kissing my lips. ***** Olga, you're his daughter,you're the heiress,you're coming back to him. That was the nail to my coffin. That was my fate. That was my doom. Luka,she's the boss's daughter,she's way above your league,she's never going to fall for you. That was the ugly truth. That was the reality. That was the fact. She's a player He's a nerd How will the two struggle? How will their love flourish? How will their relationship grow? Olga: I'm not sure with the title though... I'm perfectly nice and loving. Luka: Why do you need to state the V thing author? As if being a geek is not enough?

"You are fucking mine .only i have right to kiss those plump lips . I fucking own your soul. Somia is only Haris's ." Saying this he smashed his lips to mine "Jaana . I might be a playboy back . But its my first kiss . You know according to me lip and forehead kiss is just a symbol of love but I accept it today" saying this he again smashed his lips to mine ................................. "How many kids you want in future?" My eyes widened at her question. Is she for real. "Ooooooo!! you are blushing at the name of kids . So cute!" saying this she pulled my cheeks and suddenly kissed me on my cheeks.She looked down getting embarrassed by her act . She did this unknowingly. I was shocked. .............. She came forward but suddenly she tripped by her dress but I caught her . Our eyes got locked and it seems like the world around us stopped . She fit perfectly in my arms. I can feel her accelerated heart beat. Her rosy lips were the first thing which was making me hard in my pants.Her smell was super intoxicating. ................. We have always heard that there are 6 identical individuals of a person. Is it true? Lets see!! It is always said that opposite attracts. Somia a young girl living in the city of saints, belongs to a middle class family. She is financially helping her father to make the both ends meet. A sweet bubbly self-made girl who knows how to deal with this cruel world. But what happens when she unknowingly falls for a cold hearted devil. Haris a cold hearted devil having several night stands . Love is not his cup of coffee. Join the journey of two opposite natured persons to know what happens when they cross their paths.

"What could that be?" I whispered to myself as I felt something moved so fast behind me. It was dark at night and I had only a dim-lighted lamp to see my way through this thick forest. "Oh my God!!" I shrieked in fear as I felt a hand wrapped around my waist as I perceived the smell of warm human blood from behind me.

BOOK #1 MARINOS' MAYHEM SERIES "I said 'act like my boyfriend' for just five minutes, not 'act like my fucking husband' for the rest of your life!" Adrian Price half-yelled, his fingers curled into a tight fist as he glared at the terrifying, yet super gorgeous man in front of him. Giovanni Marino blinked slowly, taking his time to register every detail of Adrian's figure into his memory, not minding that he was disturbing his work at all. "I don't see a big difference between the two." "Oh, for fuck sake! You're a thug, but surely you're not dumb, are you? Do you not know when to stop?" Adrian scoffed, his anger growing thicker. "Sadly, I don't seem to know what 'stop' means. You made the idea of being someone's boyfriend sound so great now I don't think I wanna stop." Adrian Price knew asking a mobster to fake being his boyfriend would get a lot of unnecessary attention from lustful eyes off him, but what he never knew was that the man he had just picked was no different from the unwanted pests that lingered around him, wanting to have a taste of him. Giovanni Marino enjoyed clubbing as much as he enjoyed killing; however, despite this, he was extremely lonely. Now, the big bad man had found a toy he could play with, and he was having the best fun of his life. Would he ever stop and return to his lonely life? That, he wasn't sure he could do that. Not even when he realized Adrian was his enemy's son. He needed Adrian, either to break him or to make him.

Out of humanity she saved his life but what did he do to her; instead of thanking her he took her in as his prisoner. But, she had no problem with it. She was more than just happy as long as she could adore this stone faced Adonis from a close radius. Wearing a pink hoodie and holding a candy she would run around, pestering that iceberg like man. "Mr. Nguyen, can you buy me a teddy?" "Mr. Nguyen, can you change the curtains to pink?" "Mr. Nguyen, can I take your heart?" Little girl, are you aware? The man you are fooling around with is the ruthless leader of the Mafia gang which rules over the shady underground community. Seems like she had no effect of this dark identity of this man. Okay, this was bearable! What made them have a jaw drop was when their heartless boss, who hardly let any woman near him, was especially doting and caring towards this little prisoner. It was after she came they realized that their boss too had a heart which was capable of loving a girl. But... Why this little fool who didn't even have an identity. Did she really move his heart or... resembled someone hiding in his heart. A funny and warm story of a dominant mafia boss and... a girl he picked up from street.

Roohi Kapoor has a problem. Scratch that—she has two problems. First, she’s hopelessly in love with her best friend, Vihan Singh Rathore, who just happens to be the most frustrating playboy in all of Delhi. He flirts with anything that moves in the skirt—except her. Second, her entire family—overprotective brothers, cousins, and all—won’t stop parading eligible bachelors in front of her. As an MD, her family thinks it's time for her to get married and “settle down.” But how can she think about anyone else when her heart is stuck on Mr. Heartbreaker himself? Enter Ron Kapoor, Roohi’s elder brother and legendary love guru. He could easily make a career of solving other people’s romantic disasters, but helping his little sister get together with a notorious playboy? Even he knows this is a recipe for disaster. Especially, when Ron’s strict rules mean Roohi must follow his plan down to the letter… and his plan involves turning the tables on Vihan's flirtatious ways. Can Roohi break free from the friend zone and finally make Vihan see her as more than just his best friend? Or will she end up heartbroken while her brothers plan her next “perfect” match? One thing’s for sure—things are about to get hilariously complicated.

She rubbed her forehead profusely, "You do, you could walk away and save yourself now and I will be fine and I will understand." He glanced at her and his gaze locked and there was a level of sincerity in them, "If I save myself, who's going to save you?" ***** Jasmin Whyte was a twenty-six-year-old thief who ran away from her boyfriend after she caught him cheating, an excuse to finally leave her old life behind and start over, but when she discovered that she was two weeks pregnant for her him, she began back to her old ways. It wasn't long before she fell into trouble which was how she ran into billionaire Cainan Inferno and her life took an unexpected turn. Cainan Inferno was a thirty-three-year-old Billionaire and the CEO of The Inferno group which was the largest company in the country. He once had it all with money and looks, but his life took a sour turn after he lost his wife Neriah Gomez to cancer. Meeting Jasmin Whyte sparked the feeling he thought was long dead and he knew the only one capable of helping him move on from his late wife was her. He tracked her down and made her an offer she couldn't refuse while ignoring all the threats her past posed to his name, reputation and social status. All he asks in return was for her to steal his heart. Will she be able to do the one thing he asks or will she lose her heart in the process?

If you are going to be BAD, then you have to do it the BAD way... It's pretty simple: 1) Don't get caught 2) Always have a Plan B 3) If all else fails... Run...Run for your life! Everyone has a bad side. Some try to deny it's existence, some hide it and others well...they rule the world with it. In the book of being BAD, there are ninety-nine formulas for world domination... Number one: You aren't BAD until you can walk around the school dressed in all pink and have everyone afraid to approach you. Number two: You aren't BAD until you can break into a certain bad boys house and well... do the wrong kinds of stuff. Number three: You aren't bad until quite frankly, you have declared vengeance against the bad boy. ~*~ "I heard you like bad boys," Blade says with a vivid smirk on his face. I glared up at him, without responding clenching my fists fighting the urge to punch him in the face. "So...?" He says after a couple of seconds of silence. "So what?" "So what do you think...Tinker Bell?" He says emphasizing on the stupid name. His face moved closer to mine and I stared back into his green eyes, watching the fire inside ignite. I smirked, "Then find me one." Blade grins at my witty retort and shrugs it off. "I look at you and I see cotton candy, but then you open your mouth... and suddenly you turn into liquorice," he scoffs. "Welcome to the game bitch, your move, now let's play."