snake jokes

BOOK ONE OF THE IMMORTAL SERIES “Over a hundred people have reported you for aggravated assault, vandalism of property, several attempts at bullying, invasion of privacy, and reckless driving. Who are you?” The stupid police officer in front of me asked as he continued to read out, “Kidnapping??” “Mark I think that is enough,” Zachariah intervened. Mark closed the file that had all of my detailed crime reports as he glared at me. “And so on,” he said, placing it on the table that separated us from each other. “What do you have to say for yourself?” he asked. I sniffed into the air as I exhaled out deeply, my back relaxing less comfortably on the iron chair as I answered with not a single show of concern at all. “What can I say? They all deserved it.” I cackled as I admired my gloves, having nothing but evil thoughts as I looked at them.  ____________________________________________________________________ Cursed since birth to become the Snake Goddess and wield supernatural powers way stronger than she can imagine, Eve is on a journey to become one of the greatest the immortal realm has ever seen, and she won't be on this journey alone. But with her amulet still missing and the world slowly drowning into utter chaos because of her, time can only tell if there has been a mistake made in handing over such powers to her, as there are secrets that lie ahead of her that can either rip her apart or make her stronger.

I was reborn. Right back to the day I adopted Peter. The wind cut sharp, baby cries slicing through the cold. That's when it hit me—this was the day Stuart Pete, my oh-so-loving husband, dumped his illegitimate child right in my path after work. He knew me too well. The second I picked the kid up, he'd spin it into an adoption, making the boy ours. Last time, I fell for it. This time? I walked away without a second thought. Later, I heard the kid got pneumonia from being left out in the freezing cold—fever so bad, it wrecked him for life. I laughed until my stomach hurt. What I didn't see coming? Peter was reborn too—about to experience the life he was meant to have.

Bridget: Remember, my name is Bridget. I am your master. Layla:... Although I currently have a wolf's body, I am also the leader of the Western tribe! What are you to think of owning me??? However, her objections could only be expressed in animal-like sounds. No one understood what she was saying! Bridget: I know you like that! Layla: ... I don't! I don't like it! Don't falsely accuse me! Layla is the leader of the Western wolf tribe. She was betrayed by her mate during the pairing ceremony. They imprisoned her and broke her wolf teeth, removed her proud claws, and cut off her wolf tail. When they dumped her body in the stream, Layla was saved by her true mate. However, due to her severe injuries, she could not transform back into a human. How can she transform back into a human now? How can she avenge the traitors? Above all, what should she do when she meets her true mate, while she is just a small, wounded, and disabled wolf? More importantly, her mate seems to be narcissistic?! Why always ask and answer himself?

My husband, Theodore, was about to take his childhood sweetheart, Rosalie, around the world in a hot-air balloon when I was kidnapped by his enemy. They were about to throw me into a snake pit. I gave up asking Theodore for help and called my father-in-law instead. In my previous life, I begged Theodore to save me, even kneeling in front of the phone camera. Hence, he abandoned the hot-air balloon ride with Rosalie and rushed to negotiate with the kidnapper. Rosalie was all alone and angry. She took another hot-air balloon, but it exploded mid-way, causing her to die on the spot without even leaving behind an intact corpse. Hearing the bad news, Theodore showed a rare calm expression. He seemed to forget about Rosalie's existence and took me on a trip around the world. As we were sailing in Norwol, he suddenly pushed me into the sea. "I should never have saved you. Snake pit? Kidnapper? How could they have had the courage to push you into it? I should've never saved you if I knew it'd kill Rosalie. You should go to hell sooner!" When I opened my eyes again, I had come back to the day I was kidnapped. This time, I chose not to call for help. Humble love would only leave you bruised and battered.

*Book 2* Mei Liu learned suffering from an early age. After experiencing great loss, she spent years enduring abuse at the hands of a sadistic pack of wolves, while hiding her identity. All until the day she was saved by her fated soulmate arriving at her doorstep. Mei was finally free, loved and accepted, with her happily ever after on the horizon. But an unknown enemy has been searching for her and once he finds her he has no intentions of letting her go. Dark secrets will be revealed, and she will be pushed beyond her limits. Can she rise up and fight back and become the strong woman she was destined to be? Or will it all be too much for her to handle? A Queen Among Snakes is the second book in the Queen Among series. Each story is set up in the previous book, so reading the books in order is recommended. Here are the books in the series: A Queen Among Alphas - Book 1 Bite-Size Luna - A Queen Among Alphas Prequel A Queen Among Snakes - Book 2 Runaway Empress - A Queen Among Snakes Prequel A Queen Among Blood - Book 3 Whole Again - A Queen Among Alpha's spin-off A Queen Among Darkness - Book 4 Dark Invocation - A Queen Among Darkness spin-off A Queen Among Tides - Book 5 Valor, Virtue, and Verve - A Queen Among Tides Prequel Spin-off A Queen Among Gods - Book 6 A Queen Among Tempests - Book 7

" One of you three will become the Dragon king's wife ! " said the king .Without even knowing it , this one sentence would change Charlotte's life forever . From a forgotten princess to the wife of the most feared king on earth . The dragon king , Damien PenDraco ! He was ruthless , he was cold-blooded, he was a pure dragon with a scary appearance and skin similar to a snake . Charlotte was the second daughter of the king . Her mother was one of the king's concubines . Her father lost his favor towards her mother and her . Although Charlotte was a princess , she was never treated as one. They often got bullied and mistreated by the queen and her daughters . When the marriage offer came from king Damien , the palace was in shock . King Damien used the marriage as an excuse so that he could get his hands on the land where the crystal of power could be found .The king couldn't refuse him . Neither of his daughters wanted to marry him . The marriage proposal was the only way Charlotte could be free .In exchange for her mother's divorce from her father and freedom, she started her journey to king Damien's castle . ' Everywhere is better than this hell! ' thought Charlotte .King Damien was exactly as described, a real dragon ." If you don't want to be my wife, you will work as a servant in my castle! "said Damien looking at Charlotte's rejection ." No problem ! " said Charlotte .When the king learns about Charlotte's immense knowledge of archeology , he offered her the freedom she longed for in exchange for her help in finding the crystal of power .The two of them agreed and started their journey in finding the crystal power but after finding it , king Damien refused to let her go . " You're mine ! "

Shane is my best kept secret. The more time that passes the tighter my hold on him gets. If my father thinks he can take my right to find my mate from me and sell me off to the highest bitter than he's got another thing coming. I'll take what I want and give the only thing he thinks I have of value to whoever I choose. And who do I choose? I choose Shane. Adea is the air I breathe. I won't let anyone come between us and I won't let the Moon Goddess try and decide who she gets to be with. Whether it be her father or destiny, no one will get in my way. Fate? Mate? These words mean nothing to me. No one wants us together, but the jokes on them, I'll decide my own destiny. Adea Biscoff is that destiny. In a new life where the curse has been broken, can everything unfold how it was supposed to? Will the star-crossed lovers finally have their chance? What happens when Shane remembers everything, but refuses to make the same mistake again? The tables have been turned and Shane realizes who the real villain has been all along. What if in this life, Shane demands she be the one to pay? ! Sexual and physical abuse may be triggering for survivors !

“Those are divorce papers. Sign it,” He instructed, his voice cold as usual. I stared at the papers in shock and despite knowing the answer, I still asked. “Why?” “Because you aren't needed. I married you only because my father made it the only way to inherit his properties. I wasn't going to allow my hard work to go to the snake that is my younger brother and now that I've inherited almost everything, you're not needed.” “That is all I was?” I inquired knowing fully well his answer would hurt me but he didn't bother giving me an answer. “You'll be paid for your years as my bed warmer—” Bed warmer? “—and the moment my lawyer receives the signed document, you'll have the money sent to your card. In addition, you can stay here for an extra month.” I smiled through gritted teeth. “Fine. A hundred and thirty thousand grand is all I need.” “You can get more.” “I need just the amount I specified and don't worry, I'll sign right now. Just send the money now,” I told him before signing the document and handing it to him. *** After Shawna ends her loveless marriage she finds out that she's pregnant for her ex-husband. Now she has to figure out how to take care of herself, her kids, and her sick mother. When Damien comes back into her life and is willing to share her burden and take care of her. Will she forgive him and come back to him after everything he has put her through?

"How dare you keep my son away from me?!" "You rejected me and didn't want to do anything with me!" "I will reject you all over again to punish you for this!" "Jokes on you if you think I care about your rejection anymore." ___ Delilah was the contracted bride of Alpha Stephen Knight even after being his fated mate. Losing her parents at a young age was hard enough for her and getting brutally rejected by her mate was the last straw for her. She left with dignity and vowed to never turn back. But what happens when her past comes back to prove destiny once again? Stephen Knight never wanted anything to do with her but was that going to change when he sees her after years? She has changed but he hasn't. He is still the same heartless man. In the game of lies, revenge and pain, they will discover truths that's going to shatter their lives. Will Delilah find Stephen beside her or will he break her heart once again?

Once in a while, in the middle of life, love gives us a fairytale.And some fairytale love stories are completely unexpected and thus more memorable.No one expected the class president and the leader of Trouble Triggers to even talk about anything but notes and pencils. But then fate's a bitch and loves to meddle!Their life changes drastically when the good girl- Joanna Williams has to tutor the bad boy- Bryan Cooper.Along with the tutoring comes constant fun, too much bickering, lame jokes, scary sarcasm, idiotic friends, too many unknown emotions, jungles in tummy, bucket lists, unheard secrets and haunting pasts.Maybe some fairytales don't have a happy ending... or do they?