quick jokes for adults

My husband insisted that I wear high heels at the company’s annual meeting despite being pregnant. He compared me to his female secretary with a look of disdain. "Can’t you learn from Lucille? She’s eight months pregnant and still comes to work in full makeup, handling her tasks efficiently. If you don’t wear them, don’t go. I’ll be embarrassed!" He even tried to give the high heels to his secretary and take her as his date. Left with no choice, I forced myself to wear them. However, on the balcony, the secretary tripped me, spilling red wine all over me. Limping, I found my husband, only for him to sneer, "Tripping on flat ground? How clumsy!" Furious and pale with anger, I turned to leave. Someone urged him to chase after me, but he only got angrier. "How bad could it be? She’s so timid—she can’t survive without me! Just wait. When the event’s over, she’ll definitely be waiting in the car to drive me home." Alas, he was wrong. I turned and went straight to the hospital for an abortion.

"You know, when you decided to enter my world. You should know that there is no way back, Princess." Crystal Leonidas is the Perfect Princess. As the world's number one Billionaire's youngest daughter, her life is perfect. She is beautiful and smart and she also has Aiden Lucero, her prince charming who loves her and protects her from everything. With Aiden, Crystal believes she doesn't need anything else. Until the day her gaze met Xander William's beautiful eyes. He is warm but dark. Soothing and scary at the same time. It is no secret that Crystal immediately fell for the stranger. Fast, hard and deep. The spark of that feeling was scary, turned into fire, then turned into a strong sense of longing. Forbidden, but tempting. When Xander's lips burn her body with kisses, Crystal knows she has crossed a line. A dangerous limit. Unfortunately, there is no turning back. He is a Beast. A cruel beast who can kill you and bury your body deep underneath. So, what happens next when Crystal realizes that she is already Falling for the Beast?

⚠️DARK ROMANCE ⚠️18+⚠️ Like paper thrown in fire, Lexie Dillon's old life quickly burnt, leaving behind nothing but memorable ash. After refusing a marriage proposal, she was kidnapped and brutally thrown in the hands of Zheme Algae, a naive CEO who took interest in her after seeing her just once... From there on, her life started down a new path, one she never dreamt of taking and one she never thought she'd gain happiness from. Zheme Algae's life had always been the same. He hid under his fathers rules and restrictions and aspired to follow his father's twisted path. So when his father outlined these steps, he had no other choice but to take them. Step 1 •Seek and find her. Step 2 •Beat her until she submits. Step 3 •Chain her in that house and forcibly make her your fiancé... Step 4 •Buy two rings, invite a whole lot of guest, take her to a church and get a damn priest... Step 5 •If she so much as whispers no, kill her when the crowd's no more, but make sure to warn her before.

With exactly three days until our house is seized and everything we have is taken away. My father sits in his chair slumped over and defeated "Rose" he calls to me and I go to him. On bended knees, I answer him, "yes father my voice echos as it bounces off our now bare walls". Dear, I'm afraid I've failed you and we have lost everything, sighing he peers at me and continues. A man stopped by this morning offering to help me figure it out but I'm afraid the cost was too high. What was the cost father please tell me. Looking at him with pleading eyes, he sighs as he began to explain. He offered to pay off my debt and restore my business if I was to give up that most precious to me. My eyes widen and my throat goes dry just as my eyes fill with tears. Someone wants me I whisper and see his eyes dim just a little. Yes, my dear, and I can’t do it. Grabbing his hand, I lean in close so he can hear me. I’ll do it, "his eyes grow wide as he begins to shake his head no fast”. I smile and continue for you I will do it. He wants to be wed this evening my dear and we know nothing about him. “If he can stick to his end of the bargain the rest does not matter I will serve him if it means you won't have to worry”. My tears tickle my face the ones I didn't even know escaped. Standing to my feet I look at him and sigh, if there is to be a wedding today we should get ready with that I take my leave locking myself in my room.

When I'm feeling lost and helpless after being diagnosed with late-stage stomach cancer, my husband is accompanying another woman for her medical checkup. I don't cry or fuss. Instead, I calmly sign the divorce papers. Later, I die without anyone knowing. Unexpectedly, my husband searches the world for me like a madman.

“The only crime I ever committed wasn’t murder, Robert. It was simply loving you. I don’t think anyone has ever loved you the way I did. I loved you to the point I was willing to sacrifice myself for your happiness. But not anymore. I’m over all that shit now. Sooner or later, you’ll regret what you’ve done, and you’ll realize what a huge mistake you made. And by then, it might just be too late.” Lily had once believed she could endure anything for love—even a loveless marriage. Bound by a contract to her high school crush-turned-husband, Robert, a cold and distant billionaire, she sacrificed her dreams, her desires, everything for his success. But when she became pregnant—a violation of their marriage agreement—her world shattered. Betrayed by Robert, who chose his ex-lover over her and accused her of a crime she didn’t commit, Lily was sentenced to years in prison, losing everything, including her freedom and even giving birth while in prison. After escaping her past, Lily fought to rebuild her life, creating a future for her children far away from Robert’s shadow. Just when she thought she had found happiness, Robert reappears, desperate for a second chance. Now, Lily faces an agonizing choice: forgive the man who broke her heart to a thousand pieces or protect the new life she’s worked so hard to build without him. Will love be enough to heal the wounds of the past, or will her scars run too deep to ever truly heal?

Mia Harper's life is nearly turned upside down when she discovers that she was pregnant. With no idea of who is responsible, Mia pins the pregnancy on the country's wealthiest Billionaire Liam Macdonald.

Olivia didn't expect to have the worst experience of her life after graduating from college. A daddy's girl was sold for a billionaire's son so that she might marry a man she didn't love or even know. How long can Olivia stand by the side of a despicable billionaire's son who only cares about himself and his manly temptations? And do you honestly believe that arranging two persons for a marriage that is not based on love and has opposing life perspectives will be successful? Or will it just be another blunder that they will come to regret in the end?

"The day you will make love to that woman you will regain your powers." • • • Emily was heartbroken after her father went missing and all of this happened because of her mother but Emily knew that he wasn't dead, she saw someone took him but she wasn't sure what she exactly saw that time except for a fact there was someone even though the police didn't find anyone neither her father nor that suspicious person. Years passed by and Emily simply understood the silence and became a cop herself. When she was investigating for a murder case she confronted a charming CEO who was obnoxiously rude at first and everytime they met he tried to push her away except... he was the one hovering around her. Drake Creed, a billionaire who lost the love of his life 50 years ago and when life gave him another chance to be with the woman he loved 50 years ago he selflessly let her go in the hope that she might live a simple human life which he couldn't give her because he was a dangerous dragon with many enemies one of the few were Aiden the werewolf who was watching his every move. Now Emily had to choose whom to love and share trust with, a werewolf who promise her his life forever or a dragon who killed her in the first place.

Hindi inaasahan ni Reiko Cordova na mapapasubo siya sa isang trabaho na hindi niya inaplayan. Ngunit dahil sa kagagawan ng nakakatanda na kapatid at walang iba na pagpipilian, kinailangan niya na pumalit dito bilang isang "kabit" ng guwapo at masungit na piloto na si Kenji Jarvis. Hindi inaasahan ni Kenji Jarvis na mapapasubo siya sa pag-aalok ng isang trabaho sa isang babae upang masiguro na hindi siya iiwan ng kan'yang asawa na nahuhumaling sa matalik na kaibigan nito. Umupa si Kenji ng babae na magpapanggap bilang kan'yang kabit para pagselosin ang asawa na nagloloko. Ngunit sa hindi inaasahan ay tinakbuhan siya ng naturang babae dala-dala ang pera na naibayad na niya. Kaya wala silang nagawa ng kan'yang kaibigan kung hindi ang takutin at ipaako ang trabaho sa naiwan na kapatid ng babae upang siya ang pumalit at magpanggap na kabit niya. Ang pagpapanggap ay mauuwi sa katotohanan nang isang gabi ay makalimot si Kenji sa kontrata. Ang babae na itinuturing lamang niya na isang pamalit sa kasunduan ay magkakaroon nang mas malalim na ugnayan at halaga sa kan'ya. Papayag ba si Reiko na habang-buhay na lamang siya na maging "replacement mistress" sa buhay ni Kenji, lalo na at alam niya kung gaano kamahal ng lalaki ang asawa nito? O gagawin niya ang tama at kusa na lamang na lalayo sa lalaki na natutunan na niya na mahalin?