pinoy humor jokes

"You are fucking mine .only i have right to kiss those plump lips . I fucking own your soul. Somia is only Haris's ." Saying this he smashed his lips to mine "Jaana . I might be a playboy back . But its my first kiss . You know according to me lip and forehead kiss is just a symbol of love but I accept it today" saying this he again smashed his lips to mine ................................. "How many kids you want in future?" My eyes widened at her question. Is she for real. "Ooooooo!! you are blushing at the name of kids . So cute!" saying this she pulled my cheeks and suddenly kissed me on my cheeks.She looked down getting embarrassed by her act . She did this unknowingly. I was shocked. .............. She came forward but suddenly she tripped by her dress but I caught her . Our eyes got locked and it seems like the world around us stopped . She fit perfectly in my arms. I can feel her accelerated heart beat. Her rosy lips were the first thing which was making me hard in my pants.Her smell was super intoxicating. ................. We have always heard that there are 6 identical individuals of a person. Is it true? Lets see!! It is always said that opposite attracts. Somia a young girl living in the city of saints, belongs to a middle class family. She is financially helping her father to make the both ends meet. A sweet bubbly self-made girl who knows how to deal with this cruel world. But what happens when she unknowingly falls for a cold hearted devil. Haris a cold hearted devil having several night stands . Love is not his cup of coffee. Join the journey of two opposite natured persons to know what happens when they cross their paths.

After nearly losing her sanity at the hands of her first love, Alexandra vowed to never fall in love again. Four years had passed since the horrible incident, and yet those memories haunted her like a vengeful ghost. Following her grandfather's death, Alexandra is forced to come back and take revenge on the people who destroyed her in the past. Her grandfather's will bound her to a man she did not love, but he loves her so much he would grant her all her unfulfilled dreams. He determined to love her and cherish her properly this time. Will Alexandra give herself a second chance to fall in love? Or will she continue to dwell in her dark past? __________________________ (The following book contains mature content and talks about mental illnesses. This book is recommended for 18+. Contains Violence, SA, rape)

Between the twins, Dawn is the feisty one. That's why when she learned that Dusk was being bullied by her co-worker, she secretly went to her studio to confront Caleb Ross - Dusk's partner in the movie they were currently filming.Funny how fate played, during the time she was looking for Caleb, she was mistaken as her twin and was forced to act impromptu. Even though she was clueless about the script and the scene, she faced Caleb head on! But what's even funnier is that, she found out that this man was innocent and Dusk was referring to another person!Now she can't decide what's more embarrassing...Her sexy lap dance or the harsh kiss she gave Caleb?

Maria Airaleen Alfonso never thought about falling in love. It never crossed her mind because she has her own priorities and that doesn't include falling in love with someone. But then there's Zandrey Joseph del Fuerto, who managed to get into her system. In a span of one week, a lot have happened. She could've stop it, but she didn't. What she thought she felt for him was something, so she held on to it. However, after that week of romance, Zandrey suddenly disappeared, leaving her clueless and broken. How can she move on now when he gave her so much to remember?

After getting pregnant and being banished from society as a disgrace, Laura Phillips disappears for seven years, transforming herself into the best analyst in the country. Now, she is back, a force to be reckoned with in the business world, her name on every tongue in society. On her quest to find out what happened on the one night in her life she has no recollection of, Laura knew she had to tell her twins their father was not in heaven so they could stop asking for a new daddy. However, her twins surprised her with a present on her birthday. “Surprise! Mummy, we’ve got him!” her twins said with excitement, and standing between them was Jason North, heir to the most powerful corporation in New York, with the look of shock on his face.

Just when things took turn for the worst. Emma Millers got her happily ever after, when Xavier Powers, a man she had saved from death, gave her a new opportunity for life. A nice job and a brand new furnished house to start a fresh with her family.

Lana Monroe has it all. A social life? Maybe she’s still struggling with that. A nice and comfortable apartment in Brooklyn. Two very 'not sane’ bestfriends, more like a pain in her ass but she can live with that. A good paying job with a boss she gets along with. Most of all, Lana has her ego. Everything comes crashing down the day he shows up. Aaron Carlsen. (Okay, maybe not everything but still) Eugene decides to retire thus making Aaron the new CEO of the company. Aaron who is Lana’s enemy. Lana finds herself in a dangerous loop when all she can think about is Aaron and his stupidly gorgeous face. Lana is not only fucked, she’s extremely fucked. Aaron wants Lana by all means even if it means doing the unthinkable.

As a reader, we can fall in love with a Fictional Character. The words that the author use to define the physical attribute makes us readers fall in love with that character. Same as Amira Madrigal, who's deeply in love with a fictional character named Zeke Alejandro from a book that she always read, the title "Unexpected Love Story". Zeke is a bad boy and an arrogant campus prince who's written to fell in love with Krisha Fajardo, the female lead character of the story. Unfortunately, Amira hasn't read the book completely because her professor caught her reading the book while his teaching. An unknown sender gives her a link to a site where she could continue to read the next part of the story. She doesn't know that this will be the way for her to enter another world. Another dimension. To meet her Love. Zeke Alejandro, the fictional character inside the book. Could she also be the main character of the story she accidentally went into? Or would be the antagonist to the main character that she always imagined to be her? How will the story run?? How will the story end??

Jessiah is a make-up artist aspiring to break into the modeling and beauty industry. She moves to LA when she lands a job at one of the biggest production companies in Hollywood. On her first week on the job, she meets Jenson Ross, a big-deal actor with a murky past and a dark secret only a privileged few know about. × Genres: Romance, Werewolf, Crime EXCERPT [BOOK I of CALI ALPHAS ] _ _ _ "Dollface," he murmured with a little smirk. He snickered and caressed the back of her head, pulling her closer to his chest. "You're like an antidepressant, in human form." Her breath caught.  Her heart sped up when his hug tightened. His warm face pressed onto her neck, his strong hands lightly squeezing her hips. Moments like this only worsened her attraction to him.  The flirty jokes, the easy conversations, the small smiles, his furtive glances, and his unusually sweet gestures lately... She was in deep trouble. Was he kissing her neck?  Shit. He was no longer thinking straight.  About this. About her. About the consequences. He drew her closer when she tried to pull away. As if he didn't want her out of his sight. While his beard scraped her skin, his thighs touched hers. Her throat ached as he stared into her eyes. "Dammit," he sighed, his thumb tracing the curve of her neck, his touch both gentle and eager.  "Why are you so f-cking beautiful?"  "Joss, I need to g—" "Why now?" he murmured, stroking her cheek. He wasn't acting drunk or playing with her.  Not like this. He wouldn't. Not with her real feelings barely held together by some unspoken truths. Otherwise he wouldn't dare let it get this far.  But why wouldn't he let go? "Just stay. Please. Stay here with me." _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

At her friend's wedding, Amelia meets Maximiliano Miller, a mysterious man who tries to strike up a conversation with her. What Amelia least expected, was that days later, that man began to pursue and harass her. From appearances at her work, to having a chase with her in the middle of the street. It all came to an end when she mustered enough courage to confront him and ask him what he wanted from her. Amelia expected any answer, except Maximiliano proposing to be his fake wife. "It will be a short business of a few months, you will have a good remuneration; you only have to pretend to be my wife, you only have to pretend that we are a happy couple... then you will leave with your money and we will never see each other again". What started out as a particular business deal ended up making way for feelings that Amelia refused to feel. She knew it was just a deal that would soon be broken, she knew it was all a lie, she was afraid of falling in love with him... because in the end, she was just the fake wife of a millionaire who would never reciprocate her feelings... Or maybe he would? PIC BY: KATE BRANCH. THANKS, BEAUTIFUL!