knock knock jokes dark humor

.... ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ 𝕴𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖎𝖓𝖋𝖑𝖎𝖈𝖙 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖓 𝖔𝖓 𝖒𝖊, 𝕴 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖒𝖆𝖐𝖊 𝖘𝖚𝖗𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖌𝖔 𝖙𝖍𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖌𝖍 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖘𝖆𝖒𝖊... ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ 18 year old Valentina Smith a girl full of life. She had it all a normal girl could ask for. Good parents, good grades, friends that had her back, and a loving big brother. But one mistake of her brother leads to her walking down the aisle as the bride of the heartless Italian mafia Capo Alessandro Romano. Alessandro has been void of feelings for the past 2 decades while Valentina expresses herself. What happens when these two collide? Join the journey of Valentina as she is thrust into a new life of mafia, blood shed and illegal activities. In between all the chaos she tries to win over her heartless husband. She learns that no one could be trusted around her, maybe not even the man she has gotten used to call her husband. Will she be able to keep up the fight as she faces betrayal, pain and family secrets? Can she give up, after all she is bind to him by '𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁'.

Yvonne was sold, not once but twice... At a young age, her stoned mother gave her up for a few thousand bucks to a human trafficking syndicate. They abused and tortured her into submission until she learned how to accept her hellish fate. But everything changed when a man named Vladimir Lewis bought her. He needed a wife for an unknown reason and decided it would be best to buy some whore and marry her off instead of looking for a real bride. Yvonne agreed to everything that he had to offer as she saw him as her hero. For her, he is the savior who pulled her out of the quagmire that she'd been dumped into for more than half of her life. Until she realized who he really was. He's a mafia king! An illegal arms smuggler, a murderer, and every bad thing she could think of! She tried to get away from his claws, but he wasn't an underground king for nothing. He's always one step ahead of her whenever she tries to escape! She is at his mercy until she finds out his biggest secret. Now the tables have turned and she is the one in control. Or so she thought... Will she be able to play him in her palm or will she be burnt by her darkest desires?

"I want this woman from your kingdom as my slave." "The woman in your hold is my sister, Morgana, the one and only princess of the kingdom. Our most prized possession… To pay for her crime, she is yours from this day forth. In a world where only the strongest survive and in a kingdom where women are looked down upon, Morgana Aton is the vampire princess who refuses to be silenced. Strong, passionate and fearless. Her heart set on finding and assassinating the man who killed the late king, her father. Only to fail and be taken as a prisoner by the Alpha King himself. Kian Araqiel, the Alpha King who is feared throughout the land. Learns his mate is a vampire in the Sanguine Empire. Only for her to attempt to kill him. Angered and hating the fact that he is mated to a blood sucker, he takes her as a prisoner and brings her to his kingdom. But did he really think he could defy the power of the mate bond, especially when she is a constant temptation that he tries to fight? In a game of passion and hate will they overcome their differences and unite to face a greater threat that now looms upon them?

Life has never been good to me. And just when I thought life couldn't get any worse, the Goddess mocked me one more time and gave me a stubborn and difficult Alpha as my fated mate - someone who wanted nothing to do with me. But what did I have to lose? To begin with, I had nothing. So leaving and forgetting all about him should be easy. Well it was, until it wasn't. ¤¤¤¤¤ The book is the second in the Black Shadow Pack Series Spin-off Novels. While the story stands alone, I recommend that you read the series and the spin-off novel Book 1, to gain a better understanding of the characters. BLACK SHADOW PACK SERIES: Book 1 - HE'S MY ALPHA (Completed) Book 2 - THE BETA IS MINE (Completed) Book 3 - LOVING THE GAMMA (Completed) Spin-off Novel Book 1 - IN THE ARMS OF MY ALPHA (Completed) Spin-off Novel Book 2 - THROUGH THE EYES OF MY ALPHA (Completed)

The Alpha's Girl will now contain Book 1 and Book 2, The Warrior's Woman.As a little girl, Olivia was convinced that supernatural creatures were real. After all, she had met a werewolf in her own backyard. Unfortunately, no one believed her. She lost all of her friends at school for being the weird girl, and her parents were convinced that she was insane. A decade of research and searching went by until she finally found him again. Her mate. The Alpha. When her family hears that she is talking about the existence of supernatural creatures again, they decide that enough is enough. Since going to doctors and therapists didn't work, they decided to send her away to the only place that could help her, and protect their other daughter from Olivia's instability and hallucinations. An asylum. Alpha Gabriel is livid and wants his mate back. When he finds out the love of his life was taken away, he prepares his army to do anything that it would take to get her back. Little does he know that the enemy to his kind runs the facility, feeding off of the patients and keeping them locked up for eternity.

Luca Vitiello is cold, aloof and the Mafia boss of the New York underworld. But he seized so many other outfits into his control, making him the Ultimate boss of half of the US. He was seen less, and talks even less. He is ruthless and emotionless. People will either freeze or shiver when they see him.He is colder than the Arctic. What happens if he was forced to protect a warm-hearted and innocent girl, who starts to melt the ice around his heart since the moment she met him?Emma Costello is the unwanted daughter of Frank Costello. He treats her like a maid and a commodity. What happens, when she was taken away from her sad life into a life of luxury. What happens when her savior starts to fall for her.He is 10 years older than her.Will she love him back?Will he be able to protect her when her father comes back for her?What will Luca do, when he finds out that her father sold Emma to a highest bidder?

“Fuck, Ada…”“Brad...oh, fuck... deeper... harder!” Ada’s shrill voice begged between breathy moans.The banging of the headboard against the wall intensified as Ann froze. No... it couldn’t be!Ann took a deep breath and nudged the door a little more. Her chest felt like it would explode as she held her breath whilst the crack widened.When it revealed her sister lying underneath her husband-to-be, her hands flew to her mouth to stifle the gasp of horror as her heart shattered instantly.As Brad roared his release inside her sister, Ada turned her head towards the door with a smirk.An icy chill descended over Ann as if a bucket of ice water had been thrown over her and she stood and stared, her eyes wide and mouth slightly open in disbelief.Ada lifted her hand and waved in Ada’s direction with a smug smile plastered on her face as Brad collapsed on top of her, kissing her neck tenderly.Is there anything you can do if your mate had sex with your sister?

"Despite your protests look at you now." He smirked bending down and placing a kiss on my neck. "In the end you easily succumbed to me without any protest." "I don't want to die." I responded as he continued to trail small butterfly kisses along my throat, all the while lightly grazing his sharp canines against it. "Your mouth is very dishonest woman." He said lifting and staring into my eyes. "It says no while your body says yes." "You're wrong." I whispered. "Am I now?" He spoke against my skin sending goosebumps all over my body. "I don't think I am." Valerie Anderson was your normal everyday secretary, at least she was until the day she died. Killed by her sex crazed supervisor by falling down a flight of stairs, Valerie finds herself waking up in the bed of the cold and oppressive Elias Langley. First prince and next in line for the throne of the land of Allsbrook, Elias gives Valerie two options, either be his slave or die by his hands. Unable to remember a thing, not even her name, Valerie isn't ready to die, not until she discovers how she appeared in this strange land and who she is. Desperate Valerie agrees to be Elias' slave, thus beginning their master and slave relationship. Will the cold Elias end up warming up to Valerie, allowing someone into his cold dead heart? Will Valerie be able to find her memories and figure out her mysterious background?

Arienne just wants to find her soulmate. But when she meets Samyak, she discovers that he's hiding a dark and painful secret that could tear them apart forever.

Alec - My life has been nothing but pain. I gave up not just looking for my mate but in general a long time ago. My pack, my friends, not even my children can bring me out of this endless nightmare. My wolf runs things. But when I see Crista's face, I see an end to my misery. I'll stay silent no more. She is the light, and I'll do anything to protect her. Crista - One night of terror has sent my peaceful life into turmoil. My pack is gone, and so are my parents. I was only able to save my little sisters. But when we're found unknowingly crossing the border into the Incubi Pack, it feels more like out of the frying pan and into the fire. The alpha of the Incubi Pack is known across the world as ruthless. The Moon Goddess must have a sense of humor as my wolf whimpers mate' as his yellow eyes meet mine. This book is a spinoff series from the Bloodmoon Series. Characters and events in this book may overlap with Beta's Surprise Mate. The Incubi Pack Series: Book 1 - Alpha of Nightmares Book 2 - The Hybrid Alpha Book 3 - Dream Mate Anthology Short Story - Chosen Mate Anthology Bonus Story - Sicilian Holiday Anthology Short Story - The Quiet Giant's Mate Book 4 - Beta's Innocent Mate