jokes about men

What do I do when I run out of options and I need money fast? I sell the only thing that I have that is worth any value… My virginity. Bidding starts at 1 million... Scarlett's Treasures, an exclusive auction house for wealthy men and women who buy the pleasures of those willing to give themselves...and they want me. What's a girl to do when she's in her mid-twenties, is still a virgin... and broke AF? Yep, I made that choice. Now, the only problem is, I don't have only one buyer to please, but there are three and one of them just so happens to be my childhood best friend and crush who broke my heart and left. Now he's back and he's buying my virginity...which he thinks belongs to him. Meeting their demands will be a challenge, but it's a choice that I'm going to have to make... Aria's days as a transaction turn into something more personal, she realizes that she may have made the best decision of her life. Will she succumb to the demands of her buyers or risk losing everything for a chance at real love and belonging?

A poignant and emotional tale about Mia, a woman trapped in a loveless marriage that was built on a business arrangement rather than affection. Married to Kyle Branson, a successful and detached businessman, Mia's life is an unacknowledged shadow to his true love—her younger stepsister, Taylor. When Mia unexpectedly discovers she is pregnant with twins, the news shakes her world, especially since her marriage contract forbids pregnancy. As Mia grapples with the reality of carrying Kyle's children, she faces not only the crushing weight of their cold, contractual relationship but also the sting of betrayal as Kyle continues his affair with Taylor. Mia’s internal battle intensifies as she navigates the emotional turmoil of being invisible to the man she once loved and the looming secret of her pregnancy.

"I should f--k your pretty mouth just to make a better use of it. It talks too much..." Would it be a fair revenge or cheap stunt to sleep with my Ex's best friend? ..... "Go easy there..." He stands way too close to me. I glance at him but don't object. "Why do you care? It might serve you some purpose." I say while sipping my drink. He takes a hint and wraps his arm around my waist. "Good point! But I don't like sloppy girls in my bed." That one mistake and Natalie’s life became hell. Now she wants to spend her last year in school quietly with her head down. The past year bought so much drama and pain in her life, she wants to stay invisible and forget everything. Things get stirred up when his hot new neighbor joins her at school. Jacob doesn't like to explain his lack of interest in girls (or boys) to others. Girls hitting on him now and then doesn't help his case either. He knows he is different, but not sure exactly how. Life is about figuring yourself out and it's called a Spectrum for a reason, after all. When his friends were crushing over girls at barely 12-13 years old, He thought his time would come probably a year or later. Just when he lost all his hopes, he finally meets his first crush ever at the sweet age of 17.

I spent six months and over $20,000 to plan a family vacation. However, when my mate’s childhood sweetheart Victoria heard about our trip, she begged to join us. Alexander didn't hesitate. He cancelled my spot in the protected convoy and gave it to her instead. He forced me to travel alone through deadly Shadow Pack territory - a thirty-six hour journey where three wolves had died last month. The whole family supported Alexander's decision without a thought for my safety. So I changed my travel plans. I headed north instead of south. I spent three months enjoying myself, ignoring their mindlink message. That's when the family started to panic...

Ryan Johnson, a ruthless billionaire from New York, thrives on control-of his empire, his surroundings, and everyone in it. But a business trip to India disrupts his carefully curated world when he meets Rose Kapoor, a fierce, green-eyed beauty who shatters his expectations. Unlike any woman he's ever known, Rose doesn't cower before his power or wealth, and she certainly doesn't bend to his will. She's the embodiment of everything his Indian mother wasn't-loyal, unapologetically defiant, and impossible to tame. Their first encounter ends with Rose humiliating him in public. The second, with her handprint seared across his face. Enraged and intrigued, Ryan becomes obsessed with breaking the woman who dares to defy him. Desperate to make her submit, he concocts a ruthless plan, blackmailing Rose into his world. But Rose isn't like the others. She's kind, fiercely protective of her loved ones, and painfully unaware of the kind of submission Ryan craves. Trapped between duty and desire, she's about to learn just how dangerous it is to play with a man who stops at nothing to claim what he believes is his-even if it means destroying the one woman who makes him feel alive. TROPES: Office Romance Blackmail Dom/sub Possessive/controlling ML Fierce/Innocent FL Vǐrgin FL

She wanted to be good because she understood the bad in the world. Her way of contributing to society was to study law so she could leave the world a better place by getting justice for those that were wronged — not just any law; criminal law. But her taste in men has proven to be questionable and it shows when Ace Astor begins to take a liking to her. He's cocky yet charming — charming enough to get any girl he wants so why does he want her? She knows it's wrong. He's the very definition of what she stands against and yet he's always there; even when she doesn't want him to be. He'll never give up what he does because, to him, he's doing his part in making the world a better place but she doesn't approve. So what happens when this woman who strived to be good her entire life has to make a tough decision? She could either save Ace or lead him to his downfall. What will she choose?

Abducted on her wedding day by a mysterious man who claimed she was his soul mate, Emma was thrust into an unknown world where nothing including her now growing attraction towards her captor make sense. Deciding she wasn't going to be a prisoner, she sought ways to escape but her captor wouldn't give her a chance. When the truth about her identity came to light, Emma was torn on who to trust, those who she had known all her life or her captor who was bent on claiming her.

Penny Sullivan had been married for three years but her husband never knew who she was.Penny did not expect that the first time that they met would be in bed.She happily signed the divorce agreement and thought that their lives would never intersect again.Unexpectedly, that was just the beginning…One day, there was a rumor in Imperial City. Caleb Fergerson, the CEO of the Fergerson Corporation, fell in love with an up-and-coming designer! The man was known to have never been involved with any woman. He helped her many times and made sure to punish those who bullied her. Other than that, when men confessed their love for her, he would warn them to stay far away from her.Someone was curious and could not help but ask for confirmation. "May I ask what is the relationship between you and Mr. Fergerson?"Penny smiled and said, "We’re employee and employer, and also...ex-husband and ex-wife."

BOOK THREE of COALESCENCE OF THE FIVE: After a bitter betrayal, he refuses to trust hunters, but a certain huntress catches his eye... Greg Claw's bonded mate did the unthinkable, conspiring against him and his family during their time together, so she was punished with death. Now he knows never to trust a hunter. This includes the newly appointed Chief Octopus, Sushmita. But the more he's around her, the more intrigued he gets. The longer they work together, the more he can't deny the connection growing between them. It's not a bond, but there's certainly something. Sushmita has her own secrets and motives for everything she does, and choosing this profession is no exception. Greg finds himself caring about her… for her. When her former lover waltzes in, Greg wonders if this ex is what stands between him and Sushmita. One thing's for sure, with threats pressing in close, danger lurking in the shadows, and things not appearing to be what they seem, Greg has to do everything within reach and beyond to protect everything and everyone he holds dear, which - oddly - includes her. *** BOOK ONE: The 5-Time Rejected Gamma & the Lycan King BOOK TWO: The Rogues Who Went Rogue

Book One in De Niro Series but can be read as standalone. After being thrown into a hell by her family where vultures in men's skin were waiting for her to reach at a ripe age, Destiny Carter somehow escaped the hell she had been living for over a decade only to be chased and recaptured by those monsters but her destiny was with her in the night when she was saved by Him. Her knight in shining armour: Stefano De Niro,whom the whole country feared. He is ruthless, cruel and human form of Satan as his prey describes him.He is known to leave people in fear by only giving a look upon them and when his eyes landed on the most innocent and pure soul lying unconscious in his arms,he knew that he was never going to let her go. What happens when she find herself in his empire? All about him screams danger to her, then how she is ever going to let him come near her and show her the side of him that no one has ever see? Stefano,the mafia heir to the De Niro clan, wants a scared and hopeless yet full of light Destiny Carter all for himself as after years she awakened his hibernated heart that started beating...for her!