My 33 Humiliations
After secretly registering our marriage, my lawyer husband, Benedict White, proposed holding a public wedding ceremony every time he gained favor with his lover, Anna Lester.
Over three years, Benedict asked me thirty-three times and broke thirty-three promises.
The first time, Anna’s dog died.
He said we had to mourn for three months to honor it.
I stood in a wedding dress and apologized endlessly to the friends and relatives seated below the stage.
The second time, Anna had menstrual pain.
He redirected the guests and went to care for her.
After that, every ceremony he promised came with a new problem from Anna.
I cried. I protested.
Yet Benedict always said, “She's just a friend with benefits. You’re my wife. Don’t be so petty about it.”
After the thirty-third time, I finally grew tired.
I slid a divorce agreement across the table in front of him.
“Let’s get this over with.”