hilarious jokes for adults

After the mysterious death of her parents, Portia Esmeralda is bullied into a contract marriage by her two elder brothers who once loved her. But things start going pretty downhill when on her wedding day, the groom is nowhere to be seen and the guests are all killed. As well as her evil brothers. In order to end what would become a generational feud, and save her ill nephew, Portia agrees to marry Callahan Scarfoni - the monster who ruined her day and killed her terrible brothers. Callahan is a man scarred by his past and thirsty for revenge. His sole plan? Finish off the Esmeralda family till no one is left. Just like how they didn't spare his many years ago. But there's just one Esmeralda he just couldn't hurt, no matter what. Portia. She's his to tame. She's his possession, to own and protect.

She’s innocent and untouched. He’s a dominant control freak. Their worlds are totally different, but they both have one thing in common—a trauma neither wishes to revisit. She knows he’s everything her family has been running from, but he can’t get enough of her. The more she runs, the more she realizes he’s a constant in her life she can’t escape. For a man with scars running as deep as his own, Russel Mancini knows his tempting angel can either be his salvation or another heartache to ruin him—forever this time.

A life of wickedness and uncertainty. Born to enjoy peace but get the bitter version of what she hoped for now reborn for revenge.  After her first life was unfair to her, Lyra gets another chance to do it all over. Betrayed by her husband and best friend, even her unborn child wasn't saved, dying inside her mother. And now Lyra  has the chance to fix it all by getting revenge. In her last life, she had trusted the wrong person. She even went against her whole family and believed the false information that her 'best friend' had been feeding her, just to be with this one person she loved. This time, Lyra vows to do it better. To get her revenge on her husband and her best friend. She won't make the mistake of falling in love ever again. What happens when she catches the attention of the famous ruthless lycan king? What happens when their paths become intertwined in such a way that she can't undo it? Can she still stand firm and have her revenge? Or when the secrets rear up their ugly heads, will she be able to survive?

Emilia Blanche, 25 years old. Worked as a Quality Engineer in GoKaria Technology Inc. One day, she was given a celebratory gift and a three-day vacation and went to the place she planned to go during her college days. She never knew her alcohol meter so she decided to drink until she could. Upon returning to her rented room in a hotel, she felt dizzy but still could remember her room number which is 809 but she entered room 806. Many things happened and she discovered that she was six weeks pregnant. Will she be able to know who her child’s father is? How will she be able to handle her situation? What will her parent's reaction be?

I spend three torturous years in a dark underground cell after taking the fall for Cole Greyhouse, a member of the nobility. He once held my hand tightly and tearfully promised that he would wait for me to return. Then, he would take my hand in marriage. However, he doesn't show up on the day I'm released from prison. I head to the palace to look for him, but all I see is him with his arm around another woman. He also has a mocking smile on his face. "Do you really think a former convict like you deserves to become a member of the royal family?" Only then do I understand that he's long since forgotten about the three years he was supposed to wait for me. I'm devastated, and my heart dies. I accept the marriage my family has arranged for me. On the big day, Cole crashes my wedding with his comrades and laughs raucously. "Are you that desperate to be my secret lover, Leah? How dare you put on a wedding gown meant for a royal bride to force me into marriage? You're pathetic!" Just then, his uncle, Fenryr Greyhouse, the youngest Alpha King in Lunholm's history, hurriedly arrives. He drapes a shawl around my shoulders and slides a wedding ring onto my finger. That's when Cole panics.

"Sign this contract. After bearing my desired offspring, I shall reject you. For now, you're just for pleasure my Omega doll"......... *** Bailey had a hard time growing up. Orphaned by the bloody fangs of rogues, a missing twin and a werewolf orphanage where she faced bullying. Eventually, a family decided to take her in. The Brandon's didn't adopt Bailey because they liked her but because their son had interest in her. Bailey, 12 and mentally drained from her young past, is not interested in Connor Brandon but Connor likes her nonetheless and insists on having her. Escaping, the only place that welcomes Bailey is a doll house and eventually, she's turned to a doll and she has no other choice but to accept it. That is, till she meets Alessandro Hall. The most dangerous mafia and Alpha. As if her life couldn't get any worse, he turns out to be her mate. Alessandro hates Bailey after finding out she's an omega but he refuses to let her go. When she gets pregnant, Bailey is kidnapped and the big bad Alpha tears down the whole city to find her and so does the nightmare from Bailey's past. But they're in for a shock. The saviors get captured by the captive.

My knees settle on either side of him as I keep myself raised in the air, leaving a frustrating distance between our bodies. Dustin leans back, his brows lifting in question. “ You are quite daring, Lady Lana. ” “ How do you expect me not to sway when you are touching me like that, Your Highness? ” I blurt, placing my hand on the headrest and leaning back. “ I am your mate, after all. I can not resist— ” His hand shoots out and takes hold of my nape. He brings me down and closer to his face as a storm brews behind his eyes. ~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~ After getting betrayed, and killed by her so-called mate, Elita Folke should have been a goner. But when she wakes up in Lana Redley’s body, a decade back in time, she just knows what needs to be done. Her one goal in life is to change fate for the Alpha King and avenge herself. But the Alpha King, Dustin Landric is not what she imagined. He is mysterious, dangerous, Lana’s enemy and most of all so handsome that Elita loses her mind every time she comes across him. Or why else would she jump his bones on their first meeting? ~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~ Standalone Book 4 of Wolfverse Series Book 1: Omega for the Alpha King (Standalone) Book 2: Forbidden for the Alpha King (Standalone) Book 3: Mated to the Enemy Alpha King (Standalone) Book 4: Changing Fate for the Alpha King (Standalone)

Derek Fraser is a successful businessman at the head of a billion-dollar tech empire who works hard and plays even harder. Rachel Lane is a part-time dance instructor and YouTube content creator. They meet in a club where he is hanging out alone after a busy day at work, while she is there with her friends to celebrate her birthday. They run into each other at the bar, sparks fly and they leave the club together and end up having a one-night stand at his place. Two months later, she shows up at his office, pregnant. Derek is shocked and denies being responsible for Rachel's pregnancy. Disappointed and heartbroken, she leaves his office, determined to raise her baby on her own. One year later, he comes across her YouTube channel and sees that the baby he had rejected is now an adorable toddler and he yearns to have the child in his life. Derek tracks down his baby mama, trying to mend bridges with her, but she would have none of it. Now, he has to find a way to woo her and convince her that he is a changed man and he is ready to build a family with her. On the other hand, Rachel cannot help but feel that he is only trying to buy her affection, even though she is beginning to get attracted to him and he is turning out to be a great dad to their child. Should she give him a second chance or would that turn out to be a mistake that she might regret forever?

Maya runs away from home, escaping an arranged marriage to an unfamiliar city-Chicago. Attacked and robbed of everything, she's left with nothing-no money, no safety, no hope. When a strip club poster catches her eye, Maya makes a decision: one night on stage could earn her enough for a room, maybe even a way to survive. Instead, she meets Roman Volkov. Cold, ruthless, and untouchable, Roman is the Mafia boss who owns the city's underworld. He makes her an offer: one night with him, and she'll have more money than she knows what to do with. It should be simple. Just a deal. Just one night in Chicago with a man she'll never see again. But when the sun rises, Maya learns the truth: No one spends just one night with Roman Volkov.

"There will come a time when this ugly and cruel fellow will bow at my feet and feel honored to be in the same place as me, breathing in the same air as I'll be doing. You wrote this?" asked Alpha Benna. Kiara remained silent. "I want to hear it from your own lips, Kiara Yezus. Do you want your life to be ruined? I'll have you tortured to the extent that you'll beg for death." He meant it. In this mind-gripping novel, Kiara Yezus, after escaping her cruel father's clutches, wages an epic war with her new alpha, who bought her as his slave. While running for her freedom, she stumbles upon a ruthless Lycan prince. "Bear me a child, Kiara, and I'll turn your dream into reality." He proposed a deal. Will Kiara be able to bear an heir to the Lycan and get her freedom? Find out! You can read my other books as well. Rejected (Completed although abandoned halfway) Luna Returns (Completed) The lycan series consisting of two books Book 1: Banished by Her Cruel Alpha King(Completed) ; Book 2: Vengeance on the Cruel Alpha King (Ongoing)