funny vasectomy meme

*Abandoning ship isn’t my style. It wasn’t hers either, but our circumstances ripped us apart. Now it’s not just a literal ocean standing between us. Francine Chirilova has no direction. After coming out of the closet leaves her without a family at age 18, the quick witted 25 year old has been forced to survive on her connections and kind personality. Throw in a rapidly decreasing appetite and a tendency to gravitate toward abusive women for a epic shit show. While recovering from her latest 4 year long mistake, she makes a strong, yet unlikely connection with her virtual best friend. Que in recovering alcoholic Vasilisa Krovopuskova, aged 26 from Siberia, Russia. After surviving a grueling upbringing on her own, trust is a difficult concept to grasp. Already having experienced heartbreak once before, she wasn’t looking for anything serious when Francine crash landed into her life via an online sanctuary for lesbians. With an ocean separating the two, neither Francine nor Vasilisa know which direction to swim in. Will they stay on their side of the world, or drown trying to get to the other? *Disclaimer* - Strong mature content. 18+, please Book one. To follow is book two: “Our Blank Canvas.”

Year Malkame returns to her hometown after ten years of exile. She came back following pieces of a puzzle she really needed to find in order to meet her Secret santa, the man or woman who had been gifting her lonely childhood Christmases with joy and music. Being sent away from her home at the age of fourteen, she had lost the trail of the person she was looking for. But now, she wants to finally find him. But in her journey, she finds her childhood best friend Justin. A misfortune leaves her under the same roof with this man. What happens when long-time friends come together after ten years? What happens when she realizes who her secret santa is? And what the hell happens when a billionaire decides he suddenly wants her to not only work for him but also be his woman?

The story starts with Lavender, who lost her father in an accident and half of her memory. Losing her father left a huge gap in her heart, but at a point, she moved on for the sake of her ill mother.She worked in her father's cafe to cover her mother's medical bills and give her little sister a good life.At the beginning of the senior year, she meets Alex River, the popular guy from her school. Little did she know that he was from her past.A lot of things happened which led her to have her memory back again. She figures out that the last two years of her life were based on lies. Now, she will work with her friends to know the hidden truth that was kept from her. A crazy adventure waited for them around the corner, and risking their lives was the only way to know the truth.

Death and war, two things that always chased Haley around. The last war tore up her family, forcing her to kill her sister to save the world. Knowing the rogues' plans too well, they won't stop until they find the imperial phoenix pack, a rare pack of shapeshifters who vanished long ago. Haley's sister was just like them, and she guessed her niece was the same. So, to avoid history from repeating itself, Haley gave away her niece to a human couple where she will have a normal life. Ten years went by, filled with peace, or that's what Haley thought. Behind her back, the rogues were plotting the upcoming war after they knew about the young shapeshifter. Haley watched the man who helped her during those ten years die because of her mistakes. The rogues killed him as they did with her parents. And when she needed help, only five alphas stood by her side. With an upcoming war and the destiny of the goddess pack in her hands, Haley had to wait for the alpha's son to take his title, not knowing he was her destined mate.

Not everyone is lucky with a great love story, especially for Riley. Love did nothing but only scar her heart. It began when her family tore apart; she was just two, so all she could remember was her father leaving.  The first man she ever loved abandoned her, and she never saw him again.  Then a few years later, her mother abandoned her, leaving her older sister in charge. It didn’t stop there, though. Riley got hurt once again when her fiance cheated on her. She decided that love wasn’t meant for her and she should stay single forever, focusing on her life and career. One day she was surfing the internet and found a very great deal. It was a one-week vacation on an island, with a suite over-viewing the ocean, and the price was affordable. It was a sketchy offer, but who cares, she just wanted a week off. So, she took her chance with no hesitation, not realizing the surprise waiting for her on the island. Everything went just fine for her till she found out that she had to share the suite with a stranger, a very hot stranger. Not only will they share a room, but he will also make a deal with her. He made a bargain with her. He would mend her broken heart, showing her what real love is supposed to be in that one week. She agreed, knowing he will lose anyway. The funny part, her clueless self doesn’t even know that stranger was Zack Harrison, the CEO of Harrison’s real estate brokering, one of the top bachelors.

My pregnant sister jumps off the roof of my new apartment, and my brother-in-law calls me hysterically, telling me to hurry home. I turn off my phone and continue binge-watching my show. In my past life, I hurried home to try to save my sister, but my brother-in-law accused me of abusing her, causing her to fall into depression. He claimed that was why she'd jumped off the building. The police verified that my sister was abused before her death. There were injuries all over her body and traces of an abortion pill in her stomach. My mother hated me to the core because of this. She pummeled me before disowning me. I was cyberbullied and fired by my company. After losing everything, I headed home in despair and ended my life. When I open my eyes again, I'm taken back to the day my sister took her life.

Since the day Serenity got hitched to a stranger on their blind date, she had assumed married life would be ordinary but respectful and mundane. It never crossed her mind that her new husband would be clingy like a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a shoe. To her utmost surprise, he could make her troubles disappear whenever she was in a fix. Despite her questioning, her husband would always pass it off as luck. Until one day, she watched an interview with a local billionaire known for fussing over his wife. That was when she noticed the uncanny resemblance of the billionaire to her husband. The wife whom he was showering attention on turned out to be her!

Rosalie Jacobs had been married to Byron Lawrence for three years before finally getting a divorce. The entirety of Coast City frowned upon her as the outcast wife of a rich family.Six years later, Rosalie returned to the country with a pair of twins and became a world renowned miracle doctor.Countless people flocked to marry her.Suitor No. 1 said, "Miss Jacobs, are your children missing a father? What do you think of me? If you agree, I will treat them like my own."Suitor No. 2, "Miracle doctor Jacobs, I was blown away by your beauty and talent when I first met you. I would like the chance to love you to the best of my ability for the rest of my life. President Lawrence is blind to turn his back on you. I would never leave you!"Just then, a little girl appeared. She hugged Rosalie's leg and said, "Mommy, daddy has been kneeling on the washboard for three days and three nights now. He asked if you’d calmed down yet. If you have, he wants to go to the Civil Affairs Bureau to get remarried."

Despite being single, Molly May had become pregnant without her knowing how six years ago. As a result, she fell into disrepute and got abandoned by her family.Six years later, she returned with her triplets: Alex, Ben, and Claudia. The triplets with high IQ found that Sean Anderson was their biological father. Hence, they went to meet him without telling their mother.However, the CEO refused to recognize his offspring. “I have lived chastely and never had physical contact with a woman.”“DNA doesn’t lie, and that’s a fact,” said Alex, the eldest of the bunch.“People say men will forget what they've done after pulling on pants. It seems to be true,” said Ben, the middle child.“You should be happy and grateful to have three adorable kids and a beautiful wife,” said Claudia, the youngest of the bunch.While Sean played the role of a father and his relationship with the triplets grew rapidly, he was estranged from his wife.So the triplets taught him tips and tricks to pursue women: making bold moves, stealing kisses, proposing, etc.Nevertheless, Molly was distraught by his moves. “Such flirting skills befit an experienced male escort.”When Sean's identity was finally revealed, he retorted, “You are the 'escort.' Your entire family are 'escorts!'”

SIX-PACK SERIES BOOK THREE *While this book can be read as a standalone, I'd highly recommend reading books one (Alpha Gray) and two (Alpha Theo) for context before this book* JAX : I'm no stranger to one night stands. Lots of girls want a hook-up with an alpha, so why should this one be any different? Maybe it's because she's the best I ever had. Maybe it's because she refused to tell me anything about herself. We agreed to one night, no strings attached. The problem is, I can't get that night out of my head; I've been obsessed with finding this girl since. When she shows up at the squad complex for training, I feel like it's my lucky day- until my best friend introduces her as his sister and things get... complicated. I can't go against bro code, right? Even if Quinn is my dream girl. Even if there's a crazy attraction between us that's harder to resist every day. I'm so screwed.  ~ QUINN : One night. It was supposed to be one night of anonymous, meaningless with a stranger. I just wanted to have a good time and forget about my cheating ex. It definitely did the trick- I haven't thought about my ex since, but now I can't stop thinking about that night or the sexy stranger who had all the right moves. When I arrive at the complex for a fresh start, I'm shocked to see him again- and even more surprised to find out that he's not only an alpha, but also one of my brother's best friends. Theo would Jax if he found out about that night. He can never know- which means I have to keep my distance. Even if I can't stop fantasizing about Jax. Even if it kills me.