funny mom jokes dirty

I Drew Kizmet, Future Alpha of the Crescent Blood Peak Pack here-by reject you Jewel Stuart as my Mate and future Luna of this pack... (He smirked and looked down and me).... I stared directly into his eyes and said.... "I Jewel Stuart of the Crescent Blood Peak Pack here-by accept your rejection... Am I free to go now Drew? I'll be late for Chemistry".... I turn and head to class and I can feel his eyes as well as other students eyes on me as I make my way through the halls and into class... **Jade I know you took the blow of the rejection for me are you okay?...** Yes Jewel I'm fine, just need to rest for a bit..** Okay, thank you for doing that, take your time and rest, I'll check in on you later..**...okay! Later!Jewel was a warrior, the first daughter of Laura and Jaxon Stuart who where 20th generation warriors in their pack. Jewel naturally grew up tough and rough as a fighter which made her a bit of a tom boy but her family loved her and she them.Drew Kizmet the first son and next in line for the Alpha Title of Crescent Blood Peak Pack, His parents Alpha Dustin and Luna Kristen Kizmet are just, fair and strong leaders who intend to pass down their titles once their son finds his mate and go traveling, do things they where unable to do during the years.Lets find out how things play out for Jewel and for Drew.

All I wanted was to submit to his dominance.I desired his warmth around my body; his breath brushed across my exposed skin, and his frigid lips kissed me softly. I had a crazy fantasy about my lecturer. Indeed, it was. He kissed me, and I kissed him back. I seduced him, and he burned me in his flame. But the only problem we had was that he was my mother's new boyfriend, and our love would destroy both of us. *** Isabella, a 19-year-old spoil brat of a billionaire’s mother. She is a perfect example of beauty, she has a striking figure, with long, cascading red hair. Ezekiel, a 25-year-old who has his own business, besides being the heir of a famous university, he does part time lecture there. His physical presence was just as imposing as his reputation. At 6'3" with a diamond-shaped face, broad shoulders, and a hot figure. "Isabella's relationship with Ezekiel is, Ezekiel dates Isabella's mother and he is also Isabella's professor, but she falls in love with him."

Lily Collins is what you could consider as a girl with a purpose. By purpose, I mean to avoid trouble and to stay away from a certain blue eyed boy, with the means to torment her. A boy she can't help have undying feelings for...Asher Grey has everything, girls,money, people kissing at his feet so what more could he ask for? Other than the girl he finds pleasure in bullying, a girl he's in love with. At some point he won't be able to hold in his feelings any longer, it'll start to peek out.______________________________"You look like you just got banged!" He teased as he glanced at my state."What, no I don't?" I said, well more like asked uncertainly as I passed my hand through my unruly hair. I felt the disheveled strands as my finger tugged at some knots.Niall chuckled "Your hair is a mess and your shirt is inside out." He pointed out. My hand automatically went to my shirt as I tugged it and looked around at the prying eyes of the other students."Oh shit!" I muttered once I realized that indeed it was inside out. Gosh this is embarrassing. I pulled down my skirt suddenly feeling self conscious and pulled my shirt higher as I saw a little bit of my boobs peeking out."You also have a lot of love bites." He pointed out again louder than needed, making me give him a lethal look. If looks could kill he would have been dead right now. Maybe I can arrange that."Shut up don't point it out!" I hissed. I'm gonna kill Asher.

Ariel Young finally had her life together. She graduated from a prestigious University in New York and finally landed her dream job.Well...not exactly THE job. Her goal is to start from the bottom and work her way up to become the Executive member of the company. To achieve that goal, she decided to accept the job as the assistant of the CEO at the company. A narcissistic nightmarish of a person who became determined to make her his woman.Find my interview with Goodnovel: https://tinyurl.com/yxmz84q2

When my mom told me that her ex-best friend's son was going to be staying with us, I wasn't exactly expecting a 6'2 all muscle and tattooed godlike guy who looked like every girl's dream. Turns out, he was now my nightmare. Warning! Will contain mature scenes! This is a spinoff of the book TOUCH ME WHILE I TASTE YOU. I recommend reading it first as this book will have spoilers!

My name is Rose Bailey. I am seventeen years old and about to start my senior year of High school. I have always lived a normal, boring, human life. Never believed in the supernatural or the love at first sight sh#t that others girls my age fall for. That is until I move with my mom and two brothers back to the small town where my mom grew up. My mom makes us stay at this house or should I say castle with a lot of other people living their. Imagine my surprise when I walked in on a man and two women that looked to be 20 or 21 having in a room that looks like an office. Imagine how surprised I was when I was froze in place, unable to move as I felt a sharp pain in my chest from seeing them together as he one from behind while she leaned over a desk from pleasure and the other women was him. The man froze in place and looked at me with a guilty look on his face. The pain got worse in my chest and before I  blacked out I swore I heard him say Mate! 

AHEM *CLEARS THROAT* THIS STORY CONTAINS MATURE CONTENTS THAT ARE VERY VIVID, IT'S NOT ALLOWED FOR ANYONE UNDER EIGHTEEN, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. There were secrets I kept from everyone else because I would be sent for counselling or even therapy if I ever told anybody about it but there was no way that I could control the burning desire I felt when I saw my step uncle. "Forbidden!" the voice in my head would warn but it doesn't stop the throbbing between my legs. I see the way he looks at me and I'm certain that he wouldn't be able to hold himself much longer, soon, we both would have to keep dirty secrets from everyone else because there is no way I would tell after he has had me tied to his bed.

(Under Edits) Their life was a maze. From highschool sweethearts to business rivals, their journey continued till they were tied into a marriage. Oh, contract marriage to be exact. It didn't stop there. They fell in love again, deeply, hardly and madly. But as time passed they got tangled more and more into the maze of fate and that led them to an ugly separation. But they both have something precious with them that the other doesn't know about. What will happen when they will meet again after years with extreme hate for each other? They are determined to destroy the opposite person. But the hell will break when they will see what the other person has with them. Soon they found themselves among questions, hates, jealousy, confusion and danger. They got tangled in the web of maze. Again. But this time they are determined to get out of this maze. Together. But is it really a maze created by fate or someone has the string of their fates...? ___ "Luke? I am going to wash myself. And if possible wash this whole office. Athaliah Williams had come here and polluted this whole place." Aaron said to his assistant while giving Athaliah one last hateful look, he turned around to leave. "One minute, Aaron Knight, listen to me for a moment and listen carefully. If you don't stop messing with my life from now on, I will pollute your whole life in such a way that there will be darkness everywhere. And that's a promise." Athaliah warned in a cold tone returning the hate in full force.

When they were married, billionaire tycoon Mr. Seven said, "That goth bitch is just after my money and my looks. If she dares to ever touch me, I'll chop her up into pieces."After the divorce, Mr. Seven went around telling others, "My wife has been bullied by her family all her life. She is the most gorgeous woman on earth. If you look at her funny, I'll gouge your eyes out!"Mr. Seven, do you even hear what you're saying?

"I'm gay." My eyes grow so big as I stop breathing, but two seconds later I'm bursting with laughter. "Okay funny," I finally tone down my laugh as I bring myself to look at him again. But he is still staring at me like he had been when he told me that joke. "Wait," uhh, "Really?" He nods, "Really." "You like... guys?" "I fuck guys." Oh wow, you really can't have it all can you. When he checks all the boxes, suddenly there's this big box he doesn't. The most important box, the top on the list. "You're gay or bi?" Because there's a big difference between those two. "I'm gay." "You never fuck a woman?" "I've never fucked a woman." "Then why the hell would you want me to be your sugar baby? To watch you fuck another man's butthole?" He smirks despite my little mockery. "Oh now it's funny?" "It is," he is still smirking, "But no. It's the opposite of what I wanna do." I bring my arms across my chest as I reply in my all-business tone, "Enlighten me." *** 22 year old Estelle is one of the best sugar babies the agency has ever had. She has the whole package, no dick ever gone soft seeing how perfect she is, both her body and personality. But can she sway Owen into the heterosexual group? After being in that homo-pool all this while?