funny filipino jokes

"How dare you keep my son away from me?!" "You rejected me and didn't want to do anything with me!" "I will reject you all over again to punish you for this!" "Jokes on you if you think I care about your rejection anymore." ___ Delilah was the contracted bride of Alpha Stephen Knight even after being his fated mate. Losing her parents at a young age was hard enough for her and getting brutally rejected by her mate was the last straw for her. She left with dignity and vowed to never turn back. But what happens when her past comes back to prove destiny once again? Stephen Knight never wanted anything to do with her but was that going to change when he sees her after years? She has changed but he hasn't. He is still the same heartless man. In the game of lies, revenge and pain, they will discover truths that's going to shatter their lives. Will Delilah find Stephen beside her or will he break her heart once again?

WARNING: The female lead is not a weak, spineless doormat. She’s bold, funny, slightly fearless and witty as hell. Her husband is an absolute fool and her ex-fiancé is a full fledged red flag who is completely obsessed with her. Thanks for reading!! *** At the age of 18, Amani’s fiancé looked her in the eyes and called her “the trash.” On top of that, he proceeded to call off their engagement because he found a more beautiful and glamorous woman. Heartbroken and shattered, she gets married to Henry Wilson a few years later and he turns out to be an abuser and a cheat. Their son is diagnosed with stage four cancer and while he breathes his last on his deathbed, Henry is busy frolicking around town with his new secretary. Angry beyond measure, she files for divorce. Amani’s plan after divorce is to remain totally man-free for the rest of her life, but that plan turns to dust when the man who shattered her heart at 18 storms back into her life like a violent earthquake. Bhyron Macaulay is his name – New York’s most enigmatic billionaire bachelor, gorgeous as a demon and every woman’s dream man. One thing about him? He hates debtors. And Amani’s late parents owe him the sum of twenty million dollars. Bhyron has only one plan — to make sure Amani becomes his wife whether by consent or by force, and he plans to use that debt as leverage. When dark, haunting secrets about their pasts start to fly and Amani begins to feel a burning attraction for a man she once swore she hates, who will fall first? The heartless billionaire or the woman he once abandoned…?

Kirey hanyalah pegawai biasa. Minim prestasi dan tidak cantik. Namun, dia selalu saja membuat jengkel Gio, President Director di perusahaan tempatnya bekerja. Pria tampan dengan sejuta pesona dan prestasinya dalam mengelola bisnis itu justru begitu penasaran dengan sikap yang ditunjukkan Kirey kepadanya. Ada saja perilaku Kirey yang menyebalkan di mata Gio namun membuat pria itu selalu rindu bertengkar dengannya. Bagaimana mungkin wanita biasa itu tidak tertarik dan menolak pria macam Gio yang digilai para wanita? Suatu hari, keadaan telah memaksa Kirey harus berurusan dengan Gio. Keluarga Kirey terlilit utang ratusan juta rupiah dan satu-satunya cara yang bisa Kirey lakukan adalah menikah dengan Gio. Pernikahan kontrak dengan imbalan yang cukup fantastis bagi Kirey pun menjadi pilihan terakhir untuknya. Dengan begitu, dia dan keluarganya akan terbebas dari utang dan keluar dari kemiskinan. Setelah menikah, Kirey malah semakin membenci Gio. Ketika tahu suaminya itu ada hubungan dengan si pemilik utang yang membuat keluarga Kirey bangkrut dalam semalam. Tidak hanya itu, Kirey menyembunyikan cinta untuk pria lain di hatinya. Tanpa sepengetahuan Gio. Penasaran, kan? Ikuti terus kisah perjalanan pernikahan Kirey dan Gio dalam“Me VS Mr. Presdir”.

New girl Cierra makes a big impression with the popular kids on her first day at High Moon High School.When Titan takes a shine to her, will it blossom or will there be a spanner or two in the works.When Cierra meets the leaders of her new group of friends, she learns quickly that she would rather live like them than without them but when all of her friends are involved in an attack and the twins are left comatose will she have what it takes to step up, to show everyone what she is made of? Cierra Cardle needs to stay strong and not crumble through the trials. Can Cierra and her loved ones pull through? Join them in this romantic action filled adventure.**********Today is my 5th first day in high school so nothing new to me, same thing different school no doubt. Snotty popular girls, ass hat jocks, and everything in between.A weak human girl in a warewolf world, scrap that, a bad ass girl in a big scary world. Bring on the wolves!

Falling in love is the easiest part but trying to be ignorant about it and pushing it all away? What good would that do anyway? Meet Lucy Wilson, a 26 year old surgeon. Her work brings her back to New York, the place where she grew up with her childhood friend. A confident, young, beautiful woman who is well aware of the amount of attention she receives from the opposite sex but all these years she has been career focused and never allowed herself to get distracted by serious relationships. Meet Theodore Phillips, a 27 year old guy who is currently residing at New York. A full time Chef by profession and a pretty normal guy who lives a normal peaceful life. Just the way he likes it until he meets his childhood friend after almost 7 years. What happens when they try to reconnect ? Will they be able to let go of their silly fights from the past and move on as friends? Most importantly, will they be able to stay as friends as they claim to be or something more than that? Dive into their story filled with joy, fun, laughter and oh yeah, crazy drama of course.

After witnessing Ares' accident, Vera had felt she has the responsibility to take care of him. There's a lot of options to do, but she chose to take off the heave on her chest which was to go and look for the reasons why that accident happened and become his bodyguard, nurse and driver. She thought those were the only things she need to handle, but her Captain still demanded her to act as a fake fiancée of her friend for some reasons. Working for Ares made her more attached to him which shouldn't be happening, but will she be able to stay with Ares just like a job and finish her mission-or is her story bound to be more complicated?

Once bitten, twice shy. This saying motivated me to abstain from things that have hurt me in the past and one of it, is women. I'm Adam, a famous billionaire. I owned multinational companies and funny enough, I have only male employees. I don't let women get close to me. I avoid them like they were a plague but then, it came to a matter of life and death and - she's the only one that can save my son's life....

TangShi is a girl without much luck in the world. Despised by her father after her mother died giving birth to her, she has grown up in a cold and unloving environment and hated by her stepmother. Blamed for things she could never control and treated as an outcast by her own blood. Forced to come home after finally escaping to school on a self achieved scholarship abroad, she is promised to the son of the Leng family. To create a beneficial business alliance to further her own father's greed in the corporate world. Only YuZhi Leng is as unwilling as she is, with a girlfriend already in place that he adores and no desire to honor the contract put in place - to produce an heir in the first year of marriage and solidify the two families union. TangShi must bear living as a third wheel in this unwanted life and accept or be thrown aside by her family. Until upon meeting, she realizes that YuZhi may not be the stranger to her she thought he was and recognizes him on sight. Could he be the man she met eight years ago at a masked ball, who swept her off her feet and made her feel alive, and yet left her heartbroken that fateful night? A rollercoaster of a marriage is about to be embarked upon.

Twin brothers.Different personalities. Completely identical. Except for a tattoo. One an ex-convict. The other a judge. Watch out for a thrilling drama as secrets and twists play out in this blockbuster story.You can read my interviewand oni, https://tinyurl.com/y62f98am

Nina Facelo is your average type of girl. Hindi maganda at hindi rin naman pangit, simple lang sya kung baga. Mahilig magbasa, manood ng Rom-Com movies, mahilig magbake, kumain, and a k-pop fan with strange hobbies. Kahit na palagi syang natatawag na weirdo, loner, at nerd ay wala siyang paki-alam. She have the best sets of friend, kahit dalawa lang ito. But an accident happened, habang naglalakad sya papunta sa isang bookstore, upang bumili ng libro na palaging bukambibig ng kanyang kaibigan. It's was tittled with Illuminating Darkness. A Romance-Fantasy novel. An unexpected faith occurred she was about to go home, she saw an old woman who's in trouble. The old woman was being harassed by thieves! Pilit nitong hinihila ang hand bag ng matanda, and when she saw this, ay nagpakabayani ito at ipinagtanggol ang matanda without knowing the consequences. And right before her eyes, she was stab! It happen so fast, that in a blink of an eye. She was clutching her stomach, watching the blood flowing from her tummy,like a fountain. Akala nya mamamatay na sya. But suddenly, she woke up in a different body. The body of Lady Marina, daughter of the powerhouse Edwards. What in the world just happen?!